Dallas Bragg argues that criticism and hurt from others often mirror unresolved issues within ourselves. When someone calls you selfish or betrays you, it's an opportunity to examine what needs healing inside. This doesn't excuse their behavior, but it reframes conflict as information about your internal world.
Every conflict is an opportunity. Every person who triggered you was showing you something about yourself that needed healing. They weren't just obstacles or casualties of your addiction. They were teachers, whether they intended to be or not. The person who called you selfish, maybe they were mirroring your own inability to prioritize your genuine needs. You're being selfish to yourself. The partner who said you were emotionally unavailable, maybe they were showing you that you, how disconnected you are from your own feelings. The friend who felt betrayed, maybe they were reflecting your betrayal of your own values, your own integrity. These are nuggets, strong, good, deep knowledge nuggets. And this doesn't mean that they were right to treat you poorly or you were right to treat them poorly. This isn't about excusing anybody's behavior. Let's get— let's zoom out, right? It's about using every interaction as information about your internal world.
