Dallas, a recovery coach for gay men, identifies three barriers to quitting chemsex: drug availability, family history of addiction, and the belief that sex requires drugs. He argues the real shift happens when you stop asking "How could I ever stop?" and start asking "How can I stop?" That curiosity, he says, opens the door to solutions.
Here are the top reasons I hear from men on why they can't quit chemsex. Hi, my name is Dallas. I'm a recovery coach for gay men who want to break free from the addictive patterns of chemsex and live their best and highest life. Top reasons I hear when I talk to you in the DMs and on my Zoom calls is, one, I'm in a very highly populated area where drugs are so available I could go down to the street corner, or I come from a long line of addicts and my family does not support me. And number one is, I can't have sex without it. Now, I could give you a long list of people who have the same circumstances in their life and are able to break free, but I don't think that's going to help. Here's what really helps. I want you to change the connotation of the question you're asking. And here's what I mean. A lot of you will say, how could I ever stop when blank? All the reasons that I just said, or whatever your reason or excuse is for not stopping. How could I ever stop because of this? That comes from a place of victimhood. Those who are most successful in stopping change from victim to victor. And when you take the victor standpoint, you ask the same question, how can I stop because of this? But from a place of curiosity, from a place of openness, From a place of desiring a true answer and solution to the problem. When you ask, how could I ever stop because of, from a victim standpoint, you close your mind off to any possibilities, any answers. You aren't even asking a question. You're making a statement. I can't stop because of. That closes down the possibility of you ever stopping. I want you to share this with somebody who might benefit from it.
