A recovering meth addict describes why dating feels impossible when he believes he's worthless. He can handle casual sex, but genuine connection requires showing up as himself, and his internal voice tells him he has nothing to offer.
For me, sex was a lot easier than dating because I didn't feel like I had any value to bring to the table when I was dating someone. Mm-hmm. So like, you know, imagine going on a date. For me, in my head, this is the narrative that I would tell myself. I have a 9th grade education. I'm a recovering crystal meth addict. I, you know, have a, have an entry-level job. You know, I, um, have, you know, at the time I had 5 teeth in my mouth, you know, like whatever. And I would like have this conversation with my head like, I'm a piece of shit. I'm not good enough for this. I have nothing to bring to this. However, I can't have random sex and like not become vulnerable and not get hurt. And so, you know, it became— it— I don't think I was able to show up on a date for other people because I was so consumed with myself. Yeah.
