Dallas Bragg argues that saying "I'll never use again" sets you up to fail. Instead, he suggests framing recovery as a genuine desire to stay clean while acknowledging a lapse could happen. This honest approach reduces shame and keeps you from dismissing future commitments to yourself.
After a Tina relapse, when you're in the depths of despair and you're so regretful and shameful, you're going to want to say, I'm never using Tina again. I want to invite you to not ever say that. I want you to say to yourself, it's my heart's desire to never use again, but it could happen. A lot of guys think this is giving themselves permission to relapse, but it's not. It's being honest with yourself. Which is something that we rarely do on this drug. Every time you say, "I'm never using again," and then you relapse, you are training your system to not believe what you have to say. You are training your system that your words mean nothing. When you say, "I'm never going to use again," and you put so much energy toward not using, it actually has the opposite effect. But when you keep the door open to say, "I could use," that somehow releases you. From giving it energy. You give more energy into being in recovery.
