EP 1:42 Tantra Over Tina: Sexual Healing AfterMeth with Daddy Guru

Hey y'all, listen, the number one concern I hear day in and day out from you guys in recovery from crystal meth, or those of you who want it behind you, is how do I untangle meth from sex? And will I ever enjoy sex again? And I don't want to even have sex anymore. If you've put crystal meth into your body, it has obliterated your your sexual and arousal templates. And most likely it is a challenge to be sexually aroused without thinking about meth, or you have nothing going on down there. Listen, I had both situations early in my recovery, or well, early to mid recovery. But take it from me, there is a better, more fulfilling, and more intense sexual experience waiting for you If you are willing to work. Crystal meth is a shortcut for many things, including sex, but the rebuilding of your sexual template is not a shortcut and why many men aren't getting there, because it requires a lot of patience, a lot of work, consistency, and time. If you listen to this podcast, you know that I have dedicated many episodes to this issue. And I invite you to cease and desist saying, I'll never enjoy sex like I had on meth, or I'm sexually broken forever, or any other disempowering fucking words you use about yourself and your sexual potential. You're cutting off your healing. If anything, we who have experienced meth sex have the unique opportunity to rebuild, to find intimate, authentic, connected sexual experiences through that process of rewriting and a reconnection to ourself and a deep, real connection to others. And that journey, my friends, will give you the natural dopamine you need in a way that opens up a level of happiness and fulfillment that meth could never touch. So today we're going to look at another layer and another option for you to rewrite your sexual template, and that is through Tantra and Kundalini. So sit back, grab a pen, open your mind, and let's get healed with Daddy Guru. Enjoy.

I see it, I know it, I let it go.

Oh, I see it, I know it, I let it go. Yes, what a, what a great tactic for when you have a craving. Or when you're feeling a trigger, or you're in a comedown, and you don't have energy. Welcome to the Aftermath Podcast. This is your host, Dr. Dallas Bragg, a former crystal meth addict, now sobriety coach. Join me on my mission to increase awareness around the epidemic of crystal meth among the gay male population and create a repository of resources for current and past addicts As well as and especially for their loved ones. This is The Aftermath. Trigger warning, this podcast will contain discussions pertaining to drug and alcohol misuse. If you feel triggered to use or relapse, please call SAMHSA's National Hotline at 1-800-662-HELP. Also, if you are new in your sobriety journey and you feel like you could be triggered, By discussions around drug, alcohol, and sex misuse, please do not listen to this podcast. All right, now on with the show. Welcome back to the Aftermath Podcast. So grateful that you are here. I am very honored to bring this podcast to you. I have really switched in how I view the podcast because at first I just thought, I don't know, it just seems like something that needs to be That needs to happen, something that could augment my services. But now it has turned into— it's almost a ministry. I get messages every day from men who are listening to this podcast instead of using. Or I got a message yesterday where a gentleman said he had grams of meth and he wanted to throw it away, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He listened to the podcast and it gave him the, the strength and the ability and the drive to put it all down the toilet. So I am just so grateful, grateful for this podcast, this opportunity to bring it to you. I'm so grateful that you're listening. If you can, please rate and review the podcast. I would greatly appreciate that. Share it on your social media. I would also greatly appreciate that so we can get it to those who need to hear it. Today is a special episode that you do need to hear as well. Because if you've listened to the podcast at all, you know, and if you are in recovery from crystal meth as a man who have sex— who has sex with men, you know that one of the main, if not the major hurdles to get past once you stop is when you stop using meth, it takes the sex away because the meth and sex are fused. Your idea of intimacy is all perverted. You think that you can't enjoy sober sex again. You have no idea how you even want to have sex again. I have men saying, I'm just going to have to accept the fact that sex is boring for the rest of my life. None of that is true. All of that is— are myths that we tell ourselves because we don't have access to information like you're going to have today. So that being said, I want to introduce my guest. And I did not ask you how to pronounce your name first.

John Pisano Thompson. Yes, I'm also known as Daddy Guru in spiritual circles.

Right, right. We're going to— we're going to call you Daddy Guru today. Um, lovely. Daddy Guru is a spiritual teacher and Kundalini lightworker specializing in Tantra intimacy healing and vibration augmentation practices. Out of the closet since 1984. He has witnessed over the last 40 years the societal impacts of homophobia, HIV and AIDS, religious and work discrimination, marriage equality, and addiction trends in the gay community. He is also a survivor of child abuse and abandonment and is a recovering codependent. Welcome. Me too. Born into a Mormon family. There's— I'm telling you, more getting a lot of Mormons Coming to me. John was the youngest of 5 children and always remembered feeling instinctively different than other children— more sensual, more sexual, more imaginative, more intuitive, more creatively impulsive, and desiring energetic connection with others. By the age of 4, he gravitated to theater arts, particularly musical theater, where he inadvertently learned the power of augmenting his vibration through Through singing. During his childhood, his mother Dawn struggled with the astringent rules and limitations of Mormonism and began exploring other philosophies and spiritual practices. Yay, Dawn! As a result, she and John's father were excommunicated when it was discovered that she was diving into the richness and realms of Eastern philosophies and multidimensionality. Over the years, John learned from his mother how to expand empathically intuitively and vibrationally until her death in 2015. In 2020, 5 years after his mother's death, John and his partner returned from a gay tantra retreat in Spain that changed their life forever, propelling them into a new life mission: assisting men to heal their trauma and help them realize their personal truth via the foundations and practices of tantra. John is an award-winning screenwriter and was a senior project manager in the media spanning 3 decades. He currently lives in Costa Rica with his partner Robert, where they co-own and operate Casa Kama, a spiritual center, healing sanctuary, and eco-farm holding. And I can't read the rest for some reason. Okay, uh, maybe you can finish that out. Um, um, yes, that's a lot. That's a lot already.

It's a lot. Yeah, no, you got most of it. It must have—

holding space, holding space and tantra programs for queer men. Yay, we got it, got it all.

There you go, that is it.

Welcome to the Aftermath Podcast, Daddy Guru. I am so excited to have you here to delve into this topic.

Thank you. Yes, it's a very rich topic, and it's a topic that I love because I'm always learning. And I have to say, you know, the, the word guru It doesn't mean you're just an ultimate teacher of all. Guru means a teacher who learns from their students. And I learn from all of you every day for all the clients that come in and the stories I hear. I think when I've heard it all and I still am learning. So it's quite rich.

I love that. I did not know that was the meaning of guru. And I just love that. I love that, that rephrasing of it, reframing of it.

And I call my students my guritos. When you come here, you become an alumni and you join the gurito group. And they, they all are in a tribe to be able to talk to one another online. So it's really nice.

Nice. Nice. Well, let's start. Let's just dive into the basics here. Talk to me like I'm a 2-year-old. What is Tantra?

Okay. Tantra is an ancient old way of life and practice. It's a derivative of Hinduism and Buddhism that started in the middle of the 1st century AD. So again, it is not a religion. Although it has some practices or has symbolism or rituals behind it, but it actually is a way of life. And it was a response, again, I believe back then, to astringency in a lot of religions, right? You know, it's always a checklist that we have to fill. And Tantra has a lot of definitions over the thousands of years. The main one that comes through is self-acceptance and self-love. And that's easier said than done. I mean, we all hear it all the time. Love yourself, love yourself, love yourself. But a lot of people don't know how to do that. And so I have my own. Every guru, every teacher has his own definition of Tantra, and they're all correct. And mine is it's the practice of liberating yourself from ego and embracing who you are as a perfectly imperfect reflection of source, or if you want to say God.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

So we are just a mirror of God or the source. And what we're doing is disconnecting from our ego or our head so that we can actually be in our real energy and our real truth and be an observer rather than be ingrained in all these preconceptions. And I don't want to— what I want to say, propaganda. I don't want to say propaganda, but I want to say things that are pushed on us from the outside. Okay, that we believe are true. And these are things that have been going on since we were born. We were born into this planet, you know, with nothing but our bare skin, and we're immediately told what our name is, what our religion is, what our government is, what our school is. And all that conditioning is— it's your head's a computer storing that and starting to create a reality based on that. And so, what happens is, as we navigate through our childhood, especially through a possibly difficult childhood where there's toxicity in all levels and forms, our brain starts to record these things that we think are true because it happened to us. But, we have to remember through Tantra that just because it happened doesn't mean it's who you are. So, this is just kind of an intro to work with, but Tantra is the practice of loving yourself, connecting with yourself, and connecting with your true energy.

Mm-hmm.

Your soul, your heart space, your real brain of the real you is your heart. It is not your head. Your head— and a lot of people demonize the ego. I don't do that. The head is important for managing this reality and your avatar, but it is not, it is not always correct. And in fact, it responds and it reacts and it triggers you based on experiences that you've had, even if they're never going to happen again. And so what we have to do is learn how to disconnect from the head. And then the other thing that I do in my workshops, well, a true tantric workshop anywhere, is that we go into the Shakti, which is the innate feminine. We all have innate feminine and innate masculine in our souls. Okay? Even if we come into a cis man body or a cis woman body, or even if we come in and we we feel we are trans or whatever that is, we do have both a feminine and a masculine energy in our soul. We are totally integrated. We just become split up a bit when we come into this planet. But what we have to do is open up the innate feminine, which is the mother. That is where in the lower 3 chakras, and I'll explain what chakras are in a minute, that's where we birth who we are. We project who we are. We create who we are, believe who we are. And it's the root of where we function and navigate in journey. And from there, as a progression— so again, I'll go into chakras here. Hopefully I haven't lost anybody. This is all related. So we have 7 energy centers in our body going from our butt to our genitals to our solar plexus, which is right below our rib cage, our heart, our throat, our third eye, which is right between the eyes here, and then our crown chakra. So these are things that are taught in standard spirituality and meditation. And the progression is, is that to connect properly to God or source, we need to open the innate feminine in the lower 3 chakras, reach the heart chakra, and then open the Shiva, which is the masculine. And the difference is, is that the innate feminine is energy. We're generating energy. You've heard of Kundalini or sexual energy, right? It's not just for sex. It's for creativity. It's for manifesting. It's for or inventing who you are or attaching to your journey and projecting out what you want to do. Then you hit the heart center, which is neutral. And then we go into Shiva, which is awareness. So, what we have to do is take our energy and we have to integrate it with awareness. And once we do that, we are able to realize who we really are.

Hmm.

And, the whole thing I'm going to end on Tantra is that everyone has an inner truth. That serves them. My truth may not serve you and your truth may not serve me. But as a tantrico, you must recognize someone else's truth regardless of the difference. And this is where we are today in this world with all the, all the different opinions and, and fights and wars and all of this stuff is we're not even able to get to a point to try to understand people in the shoes that they've walked in. Because that's what it's about. It's being able to understand your shoes, your journey, you know why you're here, and then be able to connect with the rest of the world and create a collective.

Thank you.

I talk a lot.

No, go ahead. Yeah, it reminds me of I'm studying a little bit of DBT right now, dialectical behavior therapy. I'm not a therapist, but just the you know just enough to make me dangerous. But it talks about. Your truth— the opposite of your truth is not a lie, right? The opposite of your truth could be somebody else's truth.

That's right.

To be able to hold both truths as truth, it, it elevates, it opens your mind, right? And so that reminds me of what you're saying.

Yes.

Well, let's backtrack a little bit over what you said. So as, as you know, this— the listeners here are either in meth addiction or coming out of a meth addiction, or they're family members of meth addicts, so, or people who use methamphetamine. You've had some experience working with men with this addiction.

Yes.

How, how does taking in methamphetamine into your body, how does that affect the chakra system? And what is the process of trying to get I would say back online. I'm talking, I'm not, I'm talking out of my head here, probably not right. But how do you think that, that especially when you, you know, a lot of my listeners inject it, right? How is that affecting your chakra system? And how, what are some signs that you're out of alignment, or if that's the right word?

No, it is. And so again, I'm not, I'm not a doctor, but from my experience and from talking with, uh, uh, drug addiction, drug addicts, is that what happens is, is that it masks the true power and the emotion of what you're supposed to be experiencing through your soul. And so all it does is cover it. And so you're not able to have an authentic experience because what we do here is the first thing— my goal is to give you exercises to be able to disconnect from your head. Your head is the culprit, and your head is what has stored all this trauma. And also, it's the head that basically says, guess what? Just try a little bit more. Just do a little bit more. It's not going to hurt. Just this one time, right? And then it gets out of control. So the ego is the perpetuator because it's only functioning off of what it has learned since you were born. It's not functioning off of who you really are and being able to step out and see who you are. So, it does. It just masks everything. And, I'll even go further. I do a little bit of mushroom therapy in some of my psilocybin. And, I've had people here who even come here that are on antidepressants saying, I want to try it. And, I tell them, well, your serotonin levels are probably already logged up. They're already full. And, I've done them a favor to give them stuff and nothing happens because already the serotonin has been overused. So what's happening here, anything of bliss that you're going to feel is already masked or filled up by the drugs. And so it's, it's not going to be a fulfilling experience because the soul is looking for something much more organic, much more original, much more spiritual. And this is why, again, if you are getting drugged up and go have sex, you have this empty feeling because you've just abused you know, those components in your body to be able to connect to yourself spiritually as well as physically and emotionally.

Yeah, thank you. And so if you're listening to this, not having an authentic experience, which means much of what you're thinking and what you think you're feeling is not— is an illusion. It's, it's not authentic. Because the, the drugs have gotten in your system and things are out of alignment here. They're not— you're just like he's— like Daddy Guru is saying, you're disconnected. So to me, one of the first things you want to do is start to question everything you're thinking and you're feeling and saying, is this true? Is this what I feel in my soul, right? And, and you may not even be able to get there, but just beginning to ask that and consider that you may not be having an authentic experience right now is just the beginning of actually pulling away from the illusion that you're living in. Is that— tell me if I'm talking out of place here.

No, you're dead on. It's all about— Tantra is all about authenticity. It's all about authenticity. It's coming from a place that is genuine. And unfortunately, with the brain, we can't do that. Unfortunately, with the ego, we can't do that. There's too much bias built up in our inner child and the toxicity that we've acquired. But when you learn the practices, the basic meditational practices of pranayama, which is, is a specific way of breathing so that you can disconnect from your head, from your ego, and be in your heart center and your energy in your vortex, the vortex of your chakras. This totally turns things around because you begin to understand who you really are again. Not just individually, but connected to everybody else and everything that is, because we all have the same Maha Mudra, which is orgasmic God source energy. We share that. Once we understand that in ourselves and others, that's when the authenticity comes through. And then you can bounce off of your experiences on your brain, but not in a victim mindset. You do it from a learning mindset.

Right.

an understanding. It's totally, totally different because then you can approach the world authentically and stop blaming things and stop blaming yourself and beating up yourself, all of that.

Yeah.

Once you get into that beautiful energy, and this is what I tell my students, I just give you the tools and the rest is up to you. But once you get in that beautiful energy, you realize how beautiful your life is. Just as it is with no drugs or any type of other influences, that all you need is you.

This, this, this, this is, this is such the goal here in because so many of us, so many of us are continuing to use because we feel so isolated and so alone, right? And disconnected from the world. And once you've entered into this Tina scene. It's a whole other world. It's exciting. It's dark. It's secret. You know, it's like it's going on all around us and no one knows. And so when you come back out of it and you try to, to live life, you think, this is boring and I belong back there, you know. But if you find this connection to yourself and to others, what an elevated experience that you can have. And not just— and then not just sex is interesting, life is interesting. Life has a new meaning for you. So these are, these are practices that could really elevate your recovery way past going to meetings for the rest of your life, or way past just white fucking knuckling it every day saying, I don't want to use. You get to this elevated state where crystal meth is not even a consideration. It's just Something, a memory that feels like a dream. There's my little—

my—

Yeah.

And I'd like to say that the looking out, looking out for things, the getting things to bring in, you don't need to do that. The universe is already in you. It's already there. It's waiting there to be tapped into. They— you don't need to reach out to anything exterior. You don't.

Yes, thank you. Thank you for that. Yes, and to be able— so Daddy Guru and his, his practices can help you because I know there's a lot of questions like, well, how do I do that? How do I find that connection in me? How do I— where do I even start? And like you said, love yourself, love yourself, love yourself. You know, we hear that, we hear that, but it's such a vague expression. So what, how could we start? How could, what's a first step here?

So what I would suggest is my inner workout that I do every morning at my retreats and with my one-on-ones. It's key. It's critical. It's how I got here to manifest my dream and opening up this center in Costa Rica. So it's not only healing, it's also an ability to put yourself on the trajectory of your journey and make your wishes come true. So, it's got a lot of other things on this, what we call Kundalini manifestation. So, what we do, what we do is we do a bit of asanas and stretching in the morning. It's not just for the body, it's stretching the soul. And then, we get into pranayama, which is prana means it's the word for air or ether. So, pranayama is deep breathing. We don't breathe enough and breathe properly into our body. Everybody's at their desk. breathing into their lungs and it's shallow and stressful. And the thing is, is that we need to learn to be in an upright position, whether it's lotus or not, and be able to breathe all the way down into our gut and into our root chakra, our butt. And there's a method that we call mula bandha breathing. It's a lock breathing where you inhale through your nose very slowly and you imagine that air coming all the way down, as much air as you can grab, down to your Anus or your perineum, and you're going to squeeze your perineum. This is activation of the Kundalini. This is like a natural drug. It's not even a drug. I shouldn't say that, but maybe it's more relatable for your audience, which is okay. But it's a way to activate your soul energy, your Kundalini sexual energy, your creative energy, and unleash it. It's like a natural once you do this daily, it takes time. Once you do it daily, it's a natural buzz. It's a natural being. It is who you are in. the meditative state that comes out. It's, it's different for everybody, but it's warm. It can be buzzing, you can see colors, but you feel calm. It's like someone gives you a shot of like anesthetic, and you are just swimming in this bliss of who you are. And what happens at that same time, it's closing the door on your ego, which is sitting there chattering. And so I give you exercises to complement it with as well, if you've got a really chattery head. There's an ability for me to give you a way to breathe and distract yourself so that eventually you get into this altered state of relaxation.

All right.

So it's very naturally— it naturally happens. It organically happens. You just have to be dedicated daily to doing this. And then on top of it, as frosting on the cake, I bring in mantras, which are, again, they're prayers, they're singing prayers. Now, you don't have to sing them. You can think them, you can speak them, but they're based off of ancient old Sanskrit mantras that have huge— I use this word very, very sacredly— magic. There's a magic behind them for thousands of years that help you attract what you need and want. So the other thing you learn, just as a little lesson here in Eastern spirituality, And now doctors talk about it today is that everything is energy and frequency. Everything. A table, a desk, the sky, the trees, us. We're all energy. We're all different energies and different frequencies. So when we augment our vibration, when we go from something like tired and sad and, I don't know, angry, but when we go into areas of letting go, being happy, thinking about things that are pleasant, being joyful, even if you force it through song, you raise your vibration to be able to attract the things that you're looking for. And this is where you are able to attract the things you need and want from the outside world rather than letting your ego search for it. Hmm.

Gotcha.

It's a daily practice. And then there's other things as well. But you could— and the other things you can do, those— that's the key thing is the breathing and the meditation, breathing and meditation. You need to disconnect from your world or else you just can't, you can't really— I call it shut the door on the crying baby in your head, which is your ego. Okay. So that you have focus and you understand what you want to do and where you want to go. And even if you don't, that's also a great moment in that zone of bliss to be able to say to the universe, I leave it to you. I see it, I know it, I let it go. I'm letting you take care of it because I know you know what's best for me.

Yeah.

And it happens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Um, can you talk a little bit about Kundalini in terms of— I, I just hear people saying, what does Kundalini mean? You've explained it a little bit. But can you tell us about that a little bit more?

Sure. So, I'm not a Kundalini specialist, but I understand Kundalini from my standpoint.

So, well, between the two of us, you are.

Kundalini is the sexual innate sexual energy that resides in your innate feminine, in your Shakti, in the lower 3 chakras. Okay. It is again that energy that helps you Open yourself up to manifesting the reality that you want and also to connecting authentically to people. So it's a creative energy. And there's a, there's kind of a perversion in the media and the porn industry that Kundalini is about sex and sexual energy and you hit a magic button and you have this great sex together and everything's wonderful like Cinderella and Prince Charming. And it's not that way. The work has to start with you first. To be able to open your energy and understand your energy and then decide how you want to use that energy. Yes, it can be used during sex. But again, we also have to understand our intentions. Intentions are key. And if the attention— if the intentions are perverted, meaning that you're just looking to physically do something with someone, you just— because you want that.

Mm-hmm.

It's wasting that energy. This energy is the essence of who you are and it honors who you are and when you dishonor it, it will dishonor you back. So, what do I mean by that? Let's say you go out and again, this is just a scenario. You go out to the bathhouse and you're having sex with lots of guys, right? And then you come home and you just feel kind of spent like, oh, I really don't feel like anything. Maybe you had fun for a while, but then you come back and you're like, yeah, I mean, I don't know what to think of that. Well, you don't know because basically you vampired your energy, let them take it.

Yeah. Right.

Whereas when we are authentically connecting with ourselves and now authentically connecting with another person, that Kundalini and the other person's Kundalini can come together and create one energy, a unique energy. A unique energy that's between both of you that has significance for both of you.

Yeah.

And it's, it's kind of similar to, again, if you step out of sex, how you relate to the world and how you relate to people. If you're able to give that energy in a compassionate way to be able to try to see others in their truth, then that also creates a type of energy where things become more meaningful for you as an individual. And you don't feel so alone. So Kundalini is this energy that we all share from source. We all have it. This is when teachers say we're all the same. We're all the same. Because in the end, when we die, the ego— and the ego knows this, right? When we die, the ego goes with the body.

Mm-hmm.

We are much more than this ego. We are much more than this avatar. It's not to negate the journey. But we have to remember that this is all temporary and that everything's a gift. So once we get into that energy, in that Kundalini, in that love, and realize that everything's a gift, things shift for you naturally. And you don't have to try so hard. And all you have to do is dedicate yourself to your energy and your craft. So hopefully that kind of explains my idea of Kundalini. I don't— I can't approach it from a scientific level. I could never do that. But it's, it's the energy that we open to be able to traverse through our chakras and be able to connect to source and be in our authentic energy.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. And I will say from personal experience, when you experience Kundalini, you're— there's no, there's no really way to explain it. No. And you will be in a state that crystal meth could never, ever even touch.

Never.

Never. Um, I have— I've got there through, through a lot of breathing and a lot of meditation. And it's, it's an elevated state that you think sober sex is boring. This is— and this is just not even about sex, you know. This is just opening up a part of you that's been That's been just put away and blocked and, and just kind of quarantined by a drug and by your emotional state. So thank you for saying that. And, and I also want to say, I want to go back to what Daddy Guru said about the bathhouses. We are not slut-shaming, so please do not@ me or@ him and send me messages about that. We're not slut-shaming. We're not saying you can't go to the bathhouse. We're saying if you are looking for an elevated experience and you're going to the bathhouse and you're feeling empty, then this is why, right? And this is how to connect and have a special shared experience with another individual that will help you feel in a whole different way. So I just want— I wanted to make sure we notated that.

And I think that's great because I want to say this: Casa Kama and what I do is totally sex positive, but because people come here from different backgrounds and experiences, I can't be having open sex or anything like that during my programs as well, right? But I tell my, I tell my clients, if you hook up with somebody, that's great. Find a room, go upstairs, enjoy. But again, yeah, so again, we are also very sex positive as well. I think it's a matter of a person understanding what they want from it.

Sure. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Um, I hear— I'm going to hear this. I can hear my audience saying this. When you're talking about the meditation, you're talking about the breathing, I hear this a lot. Well, because of my ADHD, I can't do that, or I have a problem doing that. So what would you say to somebody who says, what you're saying sounds fine, but I have ADHD and I'm a— I can't do that?

So what you have to trust is the pranayama and do it correctly. There are specific types of exercises that get you out of your head. And the best way to explain it is they make you dizzy. There's one in particular done in Kundalini yoga that's very powerful. It's a standard. It's called Breath of Fire. And it's shallow breaths that you take in intensity over like a 3 or 3.5-minute period where you just continually are repurposing the breath with your arms in the air. This creates a dizziness and a disconnect so that you just stream, you flow right into that energy right away. But you have to do it every day. The first time you do it is not going to be total, or you may question yourself.

Mm-hmm.

But it's a progression of different breathing exercises that lead up to breath of fire, an intense breath that literally disconnects you from your head. So anyone who has ADHD, and I have Many clients that have had it, it's the ability to naturally disconnect from the head. And in fact, I find that most of my ADHD clients, they hit that energy quicker than people who don't. Wow.

Fascinating.

Because the head has been taking so much command of their life. So imagine the amount of being able to just even shut off half of it.

Right, right. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, thank you for saying that. Okay, so what can we expect in terms of trauma healing? Because that's a big subject on your website, your Instagram, and that's so big. You know, I, I always quote Dr. Gabor Maté when he says, don't ask why the addiction, ask why the pain.

Exactly.

And so this is, this is going to be very useful for us too. So what can you tell us about that?

your sexual energy is also created to your inner child. It's integrated with your inner child. Like, there's no separating it. And so, again, what happens is, as a child, you know, we have this creative energy. You know, think about when you were young and you were playing Lego or, or doing the things that you love. That was your Kundalini. That is your Kundalini energy that you're using. But along with that, based on the trauma, right?

Mm-hmm.

When trauma comes in, maybe we have an abusive parent or something toxic happened, you know, that gets integrated with it and starts blockages. It creates blockages and it starts to create these ideas and limitations around who you are and who you aren't. A lot of it is, as we know, it's shame, guilt, you know, abandonment. I'm not worthy enough. Like, and that all gets, it's all swimming there with that energy in your inner child. And so when you are sexually active and blocked, right, you're bringing that wounded child with you, that unhealed child with you. So regardless of even the addiction to the drugs, you are bringing a toxicity with you that you don't understand, right? And then you're, you're functioning off of a level of traumas. I'm sorry, not traumas, triggers or trammels, which are blockages. or, or being able to just disconnect. You just like shut down, right? So, and you don't understand why. Maybe you do, but then you don't know how to take care of it.

Mm-hmm.

So, it is directly connected. Your sexual energy and your trauma is all residing there in your Shakti, in your innate feminine. And that's why it's so important in Tantra to open that up. And then what I do, either from a one-on-one program, which I conduct 4 to 6 days, I have men that come here that just have very, very deep, deep trauma. They come and work with me individually here on the finca, or I have groups. Hold on here. I got kind of an unstable connection. I want to make sure you can hear this. Okay, we should be good now. Okay.

Okay.

So, so from there, we— what we do, what we do in the groups is we do more of a group meditation that touches on some of the themes, but it's not as intense. If you come and work with me, We get into the heart of it. We go back in time. We visit the inner child. We rescue the inner child. We acknowledge the pain. And we are able to, again, rescue this child so that this child is now with you and you were the parent forever. And it will— it changes everything because then you are able to respond to your life rather than react.

Yeah.

And you understand why you do the things you do, why you react the way you do. So that's basically the nutshell of it, is that we have to get that Kundalini open and go in there like it's a cavern and grab that child. And I have specific methods in this trance meditation that we do together. We do it in the nude. Again, nudity is promoted here not as a sensual sexual thing, it's as a detachment thing. We try to create as much detachment from everything, including clothes, as possible so that we're in that energy and we're living in that energy and that's all that exists because this is where the real work begins. And so I work with that and then somatically, I'm an empath as well. So normally I can pretty much see when— what the person is experiencing way before they tell me.

Yeah.

We take them into big events in their childhood that really they've never been able to let go and we visit that and I'm able with my energy and my Kundalini to be able to join them so that they have more courage and they can go in there and rescue that child and, and do a lot of damage control, if you want to say. Yeah, we also do exercises also where we are able to confront the perpetrators. So it's not just about that, we're able to go back and speak with the perpetrators and be able to get a resolution there so that we can let that go.

Sounds very intense.

Very intense. But I'm telling you, I feel really blessed. I'm blessed every time I finish one of these retreats and I see the changes that occur in these men. I just couldn't be prouder. I couldn't be happier because they are in pain. Yeah. And if I can help them find, you know, a way to heal, Then I've done my work.

Yeah, yeah, right, right. And to listeners, stopping— being abstinent from the substance, you've heard me say this a billion times, is only— is the easy part. That's the, that's the easy part of recovery. This is the work. You know, you get the, get the substance out of your system, get away from it, Begin to, begin to build, you know, yourself back into a normal life. And then you can do the steps or you do whatever you want. Then you get to a point where you're like, what's next here? You know, how do I, how do I know who I am? And how do I know what is my truth? You know, how do I know how to love myself? How do I get to be aware of who I am? And all, you know, this takes it all. to a new level. And I also believe that addiction came to us to— as a catalyst for us to dig deep, you know.

Absolutely.

To dig deep into this and feed and, and, and rescue that child. That's what I believe.

Correct. The other thing I want to talk about, um, Dallas, is that The other thing that I noticed too is we're not only healing the inner child, but in these workshops, we're teaching intimacy. And you think that people know what intimacy is. A lot of these, a lot of these young men and older men have never experienced it. And it starts with the parents again. They've never learned how to be touched. They've never learned what caressing and caring is. And so this is the first time. For many that they're learning this, something so easy that maybe you and I know, but I'm telling you, in these workshops and these therapy sessions that I have, this is probably the first time they've really received any type of true intimacy and it cracks them in a good way.

Yeah.

Yeah. And this, this helps you understand also from a, a connective standpoint during sex, it isn't just about the physical act. It's about the touch and connection.

Yep, yep. Yes. Yeah, I could vouch for that too. Um, this is— and only recently for me is that I had a friend. We're friends. We decided to be at a retreat cuddle friends with boundaries. You know, we're not touching each other's privates. You know, we're going to be nude, but we're not going to touch each other's privates. We're not going to kiss. But we're just going to touch and feel and just, you know, be. And I thought it was a good idea, and it's something that I tell my clients to do, but I had never done it. But in doing that, it— like you said, it broke me open.

Yeah.

Because— and now I'm going to get emotional— but it was like the first time there was no pressure. You know, there's no pressure to get hard. There's no pressure to have sex. There's no pressure to— this is my boyfriend, and what if he doesn't like me? It was just, this person loves me for me.

Correct.

And wants to hold me because of me.

That's right. That's right. It's really that, and that is an orgasm in itself. It's a spiritual orgasm.

Ah, okay. Well, can you tell us then a little more about your retreat center?

Hopefully I can get—

it's in Costa Rica, apparently. All right.

Yeah. Well, I said I had an unstable— so I don't know what you heard.

Oh, okay. Go ahead. Say it again.

Well, I was just— I was just saying that it's an orgasm on a different spiritual level. Yes, it's a very subtle but very blissful orgasm. You know, I'll share something. I had a boyfriend In Toronto who was tantrico. And I remember we had an hour session where we were naked, but we were just kissing. And there's a, there's a somatic therapy where you can touch the taint. That's the space between your, your testicles and your anus. But you just push while you just push it while you're doing whatever. That's also used in some very significant yab-yab breathing exercises. But we were simply kissing, and you could feel this circle, this cycle of Kundalini energy going up your spine all the way out your mouth and going into the other person. And that's all we were doing for an hour was just kissing and pushing. And it was the most beautiful, beautiful experience. This circle of energy is going up my spine, out my mouth, into his mouth and around. And you could feel this and you become one and you become united. And it's an energy bigger than yourself. But really, it's just, you're just connecting to God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. It is like you are experiencing the energy of creation. And that's what it is.

That's what it is. Well, that's who we are. That's who we are. And so once you understand that, there aren't going to be these demons in your head telling you who you are, what you are, what you should do, like hounding you. It's just You are in a state of neutrality and love and self-acceptance and just being. And this is the thing is that so many people think, oh, I got to meditate to get to a spot. No, you just meditate to just dissolve. Just be.

Yeah.

And that's all you have to do. Everything else will come into place once you're in this energy.

Yeah.

Worrying doesn't do anything. All of this perpetuation just blocks everything that you are.

Yeah, yeah, good, great. This is perfect. Um, okay, what have I not asked, Daddy Guru, that you think is important that we should talk about today? Anything I missed?

Well, um, I think what I'd like to share with you is the 5 foundations of Tantra so that you understand what that Okay, so I'm gonna give a bit of Tantra theory here. Okay, there's a lot of it, but I want to give you some key Tantra theory thoughts. Okay?

Okay.

And if anybody has questions, they can reach out to you or me or whatever. But the 5 foundations of Tantra is one, your direct experience is the king of it all, meaning that don't let anyone tell you that your truth is wrong. They're not in your shoes. Okay. No church, no government is going to be able to tell you who you are. You know who you are. You know what your journey is. Okay.

Amen.

That's all that matters. So direct experience is king. Secondly, your body is a divine temple. Take good care of it. Right. So again, drug addiction, bad things, alcohol. I don't know if you're— whatever that might be. Okay. Take care of your body because you need the avatar here to be able to finish your journey. Okay. Shakti energy is the queen of it all, the mother, right? So we honor the innate feminine. We honor her ability to be able to procreate and create. She is the reason that we have beautiful experiences.

Right.

Then embodying your innocence, meaning honoring the inner child.

Okay.

Don't shy from it. This whole thing about I know we've all heard it growing up. Grow up, be a man, don't cry, all these things. That goes out the window. And in fact, I would say to many of your listeners, if you, if you want to start right away getting into a tantric mindset, go get coloring books, Legos, drawing, whatever it is, do the things you did as a kid. That kid is who you are. You know, many, many scriptures and many religions talk about how God honors the innocence of children. That's because your purity is directly related. That energy is directly related to source.

Yeah.

This is who you are.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

And lastly, you should live an antimonial life, if I'm saying this correctly. That basically means you do not need to follow what others tell you to do.

Hmm.

If it doesn't resonate with you, you don't have to do it. If it's a school, a government, a person, you know what's right for you if you're functioning off your heart space. So those are the 5 foundations of Tantra. The other thing I— yeah, go ahead.

No, go ahead. Sorry. Go ahead.

So from there, once we understand those things and again, we focus on the Shakti energy and we focus on opening up the Kundalini, okay, You must remember this. Your vulnerability is where your power is. And I know that it's hard to go in there and dig in and experience that pain and that crap that you've gone through as a kid. But to— like Inside Out, the movie— you need to go into the shadow. You need to go into the pain to get to the happy.

Yeah.

So remember, your power is in your vulnerability. And the more you're in your vulnerability, the more you're going to escape the demons that you're in and you are going to find your power.

Yeah. All right. Yeah.

Everything in Tantra is slow and easy. Nowhere to be, nowhere to go. Just be the light. And there are no labels. There's no right or wrong, black or white, whatever. It either serves you or it doesn't serve you. That's it. Okay. So this is a mindset that you have to have so that you stop this divisiveness that gets promoted to us by the media and stuff about, well, this is right and this is wrong. This Republican Democrat doesn't matter. What matters is what serves you, right? And the reason I say that is because one other thing I want the listeners to understand is Buddha had a term called Dhirka. Which is the vicious cycle that creates pain. And there's three things that create pain in our lives: desire, control, and fear. And they just go in a cycle. So again, we need to learn to not be in dirka, and that's where we do the breathing to disconnect from the head, and we open up the Kundalini. See how it all kind of lays in together? It gets layered. But once we do that. We pull ourselves out of durkha so that we can navigate our lives with as less pain as possible. And so that means we have to be courageous and go into our vulnerability, right? So that we aren't afraid anymore and we aren't trying to control people and things. We're letting it go. And lastly, what I'll share is a practice. And again, I could go on and on, but these are the main keys. Is that When you are in a situation that is challenging to you, just remember it's temporary. And all you have to do is sit and close your eyes and envision that situation and say to it, I see it, I know it, I let it go. And you say this 3 times. I see it, I know it, I let it go. I see it, I know it, I let it go. Once you do this, it's not an immediate thing. But about an hour later, you're going to feel a kind of weight go because what you're doing is through mantra, through the sound of word, and the word was God, even though I'm not religious, but it's true. The power of the words will create this elimination of this heaviness.

Yeah.

And you feel it temporarily go and you're able to step out as an observer and see it for what it really is instead of being mired in this idea like, oh my God, how am I going to get through this?

Yep. Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah. So a few things. Number one is, if you feel like you're, like, triggered, or you're scoffing at the idea of creation energy and God and all this stuff, try it. You just try it. If it benefits you, If it gets you past where you are, then why not try it? Don't get hung up on what I don't believe in blah blah blah. Just try it and chalk it up to something else. You don't have to chalk it up to God, right?

No, it's all energetic. It's all about energy. That's what it is. You need to get into your energy. We don't have to term it in religious ways, but for some people, I have to do it so they get the idea.

Yes, yes, exactly. And I want to say this, what Daddy Guru said about it's temporary— I see it, I feel it, I let it go.

I see it, I know it, I let it go.

Oh, I see it, I know it, I let it go.

Yes.

What a, what a great tactic for when you have a craving, or when you're feeling a trigger, or you're in a comedown and you don't have energy, or you have a using dream. I get these questions all the time, is Why am I still getting these things? And they're overtaking me. And people dwell on them. They give them energy. You know, I have a craving. That must mean I'm doing something wrong. I see it. I know it. I let it go. What— how powerful could that be if you could just pause, separate yourself from it, say those things, and understand it is temporary? You don't have to follow it. And you don't have to— you don't have to add this meaning to it that's not there. It's just There, right?

Yes.

Yeah.

And at the same time as that too, what I was taught, you know, over the years being tantrico is at the same time, feel gratitude, feel gratitude for everything that you have. It's, it, for some reason, and they've done studies on that, when someone is grateful, it just shifts everything.

Yeah.

So, you know, even though it's tough in your situation and you're feeling the craving or whatever, I see it. I know it. I let it go. And then you can even say, and I am grateful for everything I have. Watch the shift.

Yeah.

Yeah. I realize that everything is transitory. I realize everything is temporary, and it's a gift, and I accept it, but I also release it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Love it. I hope you are writing this down, people, and go back and listen. Also, I want to say your five. pillars— was it Pillars of Tantra?

They're pillars or fundamentals. Yeah, fundamentals.

These can, guys, these could be easily used for your recovery as well, because I— and you've heard me say it— direct experience is king. That means, and, and you know what serves you and what doesn't serve you, what is your truth, what isn't. This is the best and most empowering practice you can take when you're in a And you are in recovery because there are so many routes here. There's 12 steps, there's SMART, there's Refuge, there's Dharma, there's whatever, uh, Ring and all this stuff. And there's your own. Try them all out, but don't let any of them tell you you have to do something that doesn't feel in alignment. You, you don't have to do it just because someone else did it. It's— it worked for them and it's their truth, but it doesn't mean it's yours. This is a fundamental principle of Tantra. It's a fundamental principle of really of the work of life.

Yes.

So why not use it in your recovery? You don't have to do what a big book says. I have to say this over and over, but it's the truth. I see it. Liberate yourself. And it's not just for recovery. It's setting the tone for the rest of your life.

Absolutely. It's everything. It, you know, I just want to say quickly, Dallas, that, you know, Tantra changed my life forever. The moment I came from back from Spain and being with my guru, Neil, I— there was no turning back. And, and I was able to, with my energy, in 108 days manifest leaving corporate slavery, coming somewhere warm, and getting a property and starting this up. And everyone is still amazed. And even now, you know, I told you earlier before we talked, I've been working at manifesting a way to travel and teach, and now I have a major event planner who wants to partner with me to do this. So you have the power in you; you just gotta untap it. That's all you have to do, and then the rest is easy.

Yeah, yeah, yes, thank you.

Maybe a little patience. You know, I'm an impatient per. I'm a Gemini. I'm very impatient, so I'll sit there and scream at the sky.

When? When?

But, you know, I mean, again, all it is is it's there. Release it. Do the practice and be patient.

Yeah. Yeah. Let it go. Let it go. Yeah. Wonderful. Wonderful. Wonderful. Do you have any other plugs you want to do? You have events coming up, right?

You have—

I do.

I do. So my websites are kasakama.life. That's with a K, K-A-M-A dot life. And I also have thedaddyguru.com. On both of those sites, you can go under events and services where you'll find all my retreats. 3 different kinds of retreats. I do a 4-day Tantra weekend retreat. It's solely focused on opening the Shakti. You do get to work a little bit on the inner child and whatnot, but it's more about opening that energy, connecting with yourself, and connecting with others, other brothers. The 6th day is a psilocybin mush love integration. So we're integrating the Shakti and the Shiva. And I just finished that. I don't think there's anyone else that does it except me. And I had my first experimental one in July, and it was really successful. The guys just loved it. They did just—

yeah.

And, and then I have a one-on-one. So if you are not ready to be with groups, if you're more of an introvert, I am here for 4 to 6 day one-on-one sessions. I actually have a gentleman coming today as well, and we will work on getting in there, opening the Kundalini, seeing the inner child, doing all of that work. And it's, it's, it's really life-changing as well. It's much more in-depth. It's very, very deep.

Yeah.

Um, so yes, definitely go to those sites, or you can see me. I'm @thedaddyguru on Instagram. Um, I'm getting a big following there now. And there's one for Casa Coma, but I'd say follow The Daddy Guru. I've got all kinds of videos there that talk about different things. Uh, sometimes it's just me waking up and saying good morning, but it's a great way to connect. With you know the energy of the day, and if anybody wants to talk to me directly, my WhatsApp is country code plus 506-7154-3100, and that's for Casa Coma and me. I know a lot of people. I do this because a lot of people are they want to talk directly with me. They they don't feel comfortable just typing up their situation. Sometimes a phone call is just better to say. Here's my situation. I don't know what to do. So, and this is where I can be able to better understand the energy in the person and recommend what they need to do.

Hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Thank you. Yeah, we'll put all that information in the show notes too, as well.

Perfect.

Okay. And then as you know, guys, there's also— I always put a supplemental study guide that goes with each episode. That link to that will be in the show notes. If you want that emailed to you, you can join my weekly mailing list where you'll get the supplemental study guide to your email, and you also get a weekly newsletter that is as well a study guide but on a different subject that I am feeling for the week. There's also announcements that go on there too. So connect with us there. Connect with us on Facebook. We have a Facebook page, The Aftermath. And we are always on there posing questions, supporting one another. We just had a question this morning about a gentleman who's going back to the gym and he's triggered by his old cruising, uh, habits when he was on crystal meth. And so there's ways that you can— you know, people may ask questions that you're feeling too and you're too embarrassed to ask, but we all kind of pitch in there and help one another on that Facebook page. So if you want to connect there Do so. All right, hope you enjoyed this episode. We will see you next week. Thank you.