Find Your Purpose in Chemsex Recovery

Hey there, Dallas Bragg here, recovery coach for gay men or men who have sex with men who want to break free from the addictive patterns of chemsex and live their best and highest life. Today we're gonna find out how to find your purpose in recovery. If you ever asked yourself, what is my purpose? I'm gonna tell you to stop looking for it. So hopefully that hooks you in so you'll watch the entire video. On this channel, you're gonna find lots of resources to help you break free from chemsex and attain your best and highest self. Also, don't forget to look for my podcast. It's on this channel as well. It's called The Aftermath. I drop a long-form video just like this one every Saturday, so please turn on the notification bell and subscribe to the channel so you don't miss anything. By the way, if you're interested in my group coaching program, it's called Recovery Alchemy. The link to apply is in the show notes. Through weekly sessions, some one-on-one sessions, and daily accountability, your life can look much differently in 6 months or 12 weeks than it does now. Sitting in a circle of 8 heterosexual people of various genders, none of whom with a history of crystal methamphetamine use, working with drug counselors who had never even heard of the word Tina before. That was my treatment experience, also my probation experience, also my drug court experience. Lonely, misunderstood, lacking expertise. Culturally incompetent. I knew in that moment what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to prevent other gay men, other chemsex users, from having the same experience. So before I was 90 days meth-free, I was posting my journey on social media, and I had started a blog called Becoming Dallas. I also soon realized what it would require of me to realize that this grand purpose, and that was to find peace and satisfaction with my current state of being. And at that time, my current state of being was living in an extended stay hotel without a car. I honestly really actually miss those days. Having virtually nothing to my name made everything more special. So I found peace in every day. In every moment, I found purpose. If I was on the public bus, if I was peeing in a cup in front of a stranger, or serving up sloppy tacos, I accepted my purpose and I did it with grace. Now, 7 and a half years later, I'm living out that purpose and I'm loving it. But guess what? I feel the same way now as I did then. That's the key. Finding peace In every day. Because I hear it all the time from you guys. I need to find my purpose. And when I ask what that looks like, the answer is almost always something grand, like writing a book, you know, starting a podcast, becoming an influencer, leading a nonprofit, something really big and heroic. You start searching for that. You scroll through Instagram looking at what other people are doing, right? You wonder if you should go back to school or start a YouTube channel, launch a movement. You're feeling the pressure kind of mounting on your own. You think you need to figure out your purpose right now. But what was the point of getting substance-free in the first place, you're thinking, if I don't have a purpose here? Here's what happens. The search becomes exhausting because you are looking everywhere except the one place purpose actually exists. Just like I said, I help men who have sex with men break free from the addictive patterns of chemsex and become their best and highest selves. This is something that we talk about in our group coaching program called Recovery Alchemy. It's a 12-week intensive program that can literally change your life. We're always accepting new clients. Click the link in the show notes. So here's a point I want to leave you to leave this video with. You don't find purpose. You live purpose. This isn't hiding somewhere waiting to be discovered like some treasure chest buried in the sand or at the end of the rainbow. It's not a destination you arrive at after enough soul searching and vision boards. Purpose isn't something you find. It's something you create through how you show up in each moment of your life. This is the paradox. The more you search for purpose outside of yourself, the further you get from actually living it. Purpose emerges from living, not the other way around. When you live your purpose in each moment of the day, when you make conscious decisions about how you're going to show up, you are making purpose in that moment. And that actually moves you closer to your greatest and highest potential. Which is really what everybody's purpose is anyway, right? Is to become your potential. Looking outside of yourself for purpose comes with a very heavy price tag, and that is comparison, the thief of joy. When you're scanning the world for what your purpose should be, you inevitably start measuring yourself against everybody else. That person has a podcast with thousands of listeners. That person wrote a bestseller. That person founded an organization that's changing lives. What am I doing? Who am I compared to them? Just like that, comparison knocks you down from your peace, which knocks you down from your purpose, which takes you off your journey. It creates undue suffering. It pulls you outta the present moment and into some fantasy of who you think you should be based on what others are doing. And it costs you something. Sometimes your purpose for the day, Is just to smile at your neighbor, 'cause possibly they need it. But if you're looking down or if you're upset or you're scanning everywhere for some grand dramatic purpose or looking down at your phone, you missed the opportunity to smile at your neighbor. That was your purpose for the day. You missed delivering to your neighbor exactly what they needed. You were so busy looking for purpose that you missed the moment where purpose was asking you to show up. If you wash the dishes with presence and intention, That's purpose. If you clean the toilet while loving yourself enough to care for your space, that's purpose. If you lead a protest because you're moved by justice and compassion, that's purpose. The task doesn't matter. The size doesn't matter. The recognition doesn't matter. What matters is how you show up in each moment, whether you show up fully, whether you're willing to feel all the emotions, the ones that feel really good, And the ones that feel really bad, and you love all of them. Purpose is found in feeling everything and loving all of it. When you make the choice to show up, really show up, you are living purposefully. And living purposefully moves you toward your greatest potential. That's our purpose. Not someday, not when you really figure it out, not when you get this or get that. Right now. In this moment. Every task, every interaction, every mundane moment of your day holds equal potential for purpose. It's not about what you're doing. It's about how you're being while doing it. So if you wanna live more purposefully, starting right now, starting today, here's what I suggest. Here's where to get started is identify your 3 core values. Not what you think you should be, not what recovery taught you you're supposed to be, not what you saw on TV. What actually matters to you? What feels true in your body when you say it out loud? Maybe it's honesty. Maybe it's creativity. Maybe it's connection. Maybe it's courage, compassion, authenticity, playfulness, service, beauty. There's no right answer. They are just for you. 3 values that feel like home when you name them. And ask yourself this question every single day: how can I live these values today? When somebody asks you, who are you? Name the 3 values. This is not Not how I can build a platform around my values, not how I can turn them into a career, just how can I live them today? If one of your values is connection, maybe living it today means texting a friend you've been thinking about. If it's creativity, maybe it means cooking dinner with intention and meditation instead of ordering takeout. If it's courage, maybe it means speaking up in a meeting when you'd normally be quiet. Small moments. Daily decisions, ordinary life. That's where purpose lives. When you live your values every day, you're not searching for purpose anymore. You're embodying it. And that embodiment moves you closer to your highest potential. Not because you've achieved something impressive, not because you've chosen to show up as yourself fully and authentically. It's in the life you're already living in this moment, how you're showing up. So I'm inviting you, To stop searching for purpose. Stop looking at what everybody else is doing and wondering if that's what you're supposed to be doing too. Stop waiting to stumble upon some grand purpose that will finally make everything make sense. Your purpose isn't out there; it's right here. It's in how you choose to show up today. It's in whether you smile at your neighbor. It's in whether you wash your dishes with presence or resentment, and whether you allow yourself to feel your emotions fully or you push them away. Every moment is an opportunity and a choice to live. Purposefully. You don't have to wait until you figure it all out. You don't have to accomplish something impressive first. Just show up fully, honestly, with your 3 values as the compass. That's living your purpose. I was living my purpose when I was throwing those tacos around. It was 2:00 AM and I'd get on the light rail to get back to my extended stay in this room that the door didn't even close all the way, in clothes that I got from the free shelter. The nonprofit that I had studied as a doctoral student, and I had to go back as a client. Purpose. I found my purpose. Every day was a purpose, and that built my momentum into what I'm doing today. Your purpose is available to you right now. All right. Hope that helps. I'll see you guys next week.