Dallas Bragg describes how admitting his cravings to use, rather than denying them, became the foundation of his recovery. When he finally told his counselor he was afraid of leaving treatment and wanted to use, the counselor said honesty was what keeps you abstinent. Bragg learned that radical transparency with himself, not labels or bravado, freed him from the compulsion.
I'm living in complete and total honesty. And the honest truth for me early in my recovery was that, you know what, I might use again. In fact, I really want to use again. And admitting that to myself builds self-trust and a space of honesty and transparency. And oddly enough, that it keeps me from using. They weren't going to let me out of drug treatment because I had this know-it-all, fucking cocky, I'm different than everybody attitude. And it was near the end and I was with my counselor and I don't know what got into me, but I finally was honest and I said, I'm scared to not be here. I want to use and I think I could likely use. If I don't have the confines of this treatment. And he looked at me and he said, finally, you're being truthful. You're being honest. That is going to— is going to what keeps you abstinent. He said clean, but you know how I feel about the word clean. That is what set me free. Admitting. Admitting it.
