Dallas Bragg describes how meth hijacks dopamine, trapping users in endless anticipation without satisfaction. A man once spent four hours in his shower convinced he was about to finish. Bragg calls this the "seventh circle of hell" of chemsex and suggests keeping a journal to break the cycle.
I remember being late for work because this guy was in my shower for literally 4 hours trying to come, thinking that he was right on the verge. He kept screaming, I'm about— I'm almost there. I'm so close. I'm so close. For 4 hours. This state of nonstop anticipation, is that— is that dopamine effect, right? That dopamine is the anticipation chemical, and This is what meth does to you, is you always think you're right on the verge. You're right on the verge of getting that guy to come over. You're right on the verge of getting more guys to come over. You get stuck scrolling. You're right on the verge of having an orgasm. You're right on the verge, anticipating what's next, and you never get there. Have you ever stopped to think and try to calculate how many hours you were almost There. This is the seventh circle of hell that meth puts us in. This perpetual anticipatory mode, always thinking we're going to get something that we never get. One thing you can do is write down these memories. Write down these times when you've been in that seventh circle of hell. Keep that journal handy. Read it every day. Bring yourself back to that place to remind yourself. Of the realities of chemsex. When you get that craving to use or that euphoric recall of, I'm ready to get— I'm going to anticipate and I'm going to get what I always wanted. I'm going to get that porn scene. I'm going to get that guy. I'm going to get this. I'm going to get that. That never happens.
