Dallas Bragg tells men in addiction recovery that impatience is self-hate disguised as motivation. It blocks progress by signaling you don't trust your own recovery or that things are working in your favor. Patience, not harsh judgment, is what connects you to sobriety.
For men who have sex with men who are trying to beat the TINA relapse cycle, one of the worst things you can do is be impatient. When you don't have patience with yourself and with the process, it is a form of self-hate. A lack of patience is the barrier between you and where you want to be. Impatience is a form of self-rejection, and haven't you rejected yourself enough? Impatience is a form of self-attack, and haven't you attacked yourself enough? Impatience implies a lack of faith. And let me tell you something: certainty that you're coming out of this addiction and faith that all things are working for your good are sometimes the only thing you have. Do not should yourself. Do not let anybody else should yourself. Like I should be farther along. I shouldn't be relapsing anymore. I should be at this place. I should only have one white chip. Fuck all that. Patience is the bridge to take you to where you want to be.
