Dallas Bragg, a chemsex recovery coach, says instant gratification drives addiction and delayed gratification enables recovery. His mantra: "This is not an emergency." When triggered by horniness, loneliness, or boredom, pause and sit with the feeling instead of reacting impulsively.
Here's a helpful mantra for you in chemsex recovery. Hi, my name is Dallas. I am a chemsex recovery coach helping men who have sex with men. When we are in the chemsex habit and relapse, one thing can describe our behaviors better than anything else, and that is instant gratification. So if you want the opposite of chemsex addiction, you want chemsex recovery, what would be the opposite? Delayed gratification. So a mantra to use is, this is not an emergency. When I'm horny, when I'm lonely, when I have FOMO, when I'm bored, when I'm upset, this is not an emergency. I don't have to resolve it right away. I can sit in it. When I'm lonely, I can sit in it without having to reach out to somebody. When I'm sad, I can sit in it and be curious about where it's coming from. When I'm horny, I can sit in it and ask, where did this arousal really come from? You want to at least pause for a moment, ask it some questions, and delay resolving it. Because in that powerful pause, you can stop, you can turn on the critical part of your brain, and you can make an informed decision. It doesn't have to be fixed right away. We're so concerned and we're so used To resolving this uncomfortable feeling right now that in the past we've done it in a maladaptive way. Now we're replacing that with adaptive coping mechanisms, and those are going to take some time, but you're going to have to be able to pause, sit with the uncomfortable feelings, then make your next move.
