It's OK to procrastinate!

Hey there, Dr. Dallas Bragg here, recovery coach for gay and bi men who want to break free from the addictive patterns of crystal meth and live their best and highest life. Today we are addressing a very common problem that I hear from my clients and those who want to be my clients: procrastination. If you identify as a procrastinator, keep listening. On this channel, you're going to find lots of resources to help you break free from Chemsex and attain your best and highest life. Also, don't forget to look for my podcast. It's called The Aftermath Podcast. Here on this channel as well, or anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts. I drop a long-form video just like this every Saturday, so please turn on the notification bell and subscribe to the channel so you don't miss anything. By the way, if you are interested in my one-on-one coaching program called Recovery Alchemy, the link to apply is in the show notes. Through weekly one-on-one sessions, weekly group sessions, and daily accountability, your life could look much differently in 6 months than it does right now. You know, I focus most of my time helping men in early recovery who are trying to stop engaging in Chemsex. But the longer I'm in this industry, the more I recognize the need to also help those who have been living meth-free for a considerable amount of time and who are asking, what now? Because life after meth, if not thoroughly examined and visualized, can become stale and plateaued very easily. And this is when we are faced with challenges that we, that had pre-meth, right? So today we talk about one of those challenges, procrastination. This issue began coming up in several conversations that I was having with clients, most of which were in the last stages of the Recovery Alchemy program. And that's when I realized that I too had been procrastinating. In fact, I've been procrastinating making this video. It's a message about procrastination. The irony was not lost on me. And as I sat in my office and I'm staring at my laptop and I'm finding every excuse under the sun To not press record. And I'm supposed to be teaching people about transformation and recovery. So here's what I have realized in that moment and in my study for this topic. I wasn't procrastinating on making this video. I was procrastinating on being vulnerable about my own patterns, on facing the parts of my process that still feel messy. And on sitting with the discomfort of admitting that even recovery coaches get stuck sometimes and feel dull and plateaued in their life. The recovery connection that you didn't see coming is when we're building our lives after crystal meth or Chemsex, we often focus on the big stuff— staying meth-free, rebuilding relationships, finding our purpose. But I help gay men, by the way, break free from the addictive patterns of chemsex and become their best and highest selves. My one-on-one coaching program is called Recovery Alchemy. It's a 6-month intense program that can literally change your life. I accept 2 clients per month. Apply in the show notes. But back to what I'm saying, the sneaky little saboteur that creeps in through the back door, that's procrastination. That's the low-level goal, right, that we think we don't think about. But here's the plot twist here that changed everything for me. Procrastination isn't about the actual task. It's about the stress underneath. You see, your brain isn't avoiding the job application or the difficult conversation or picking up your laundry or that creative project you've been putting off. Your brain is protecting you from stress by hitting the freeze button. The same way it used to reach for substances when life felt overwhelming. Because just because you aren't using meth anymore does not mean you aren't living with the remnants of past neural pathways and patterns. They existed pre-meth and now they exist post-meth. So there's a stress backpack that we all carry. And I want you to picture this. You walk through your day, Carrying an invisible backpack filled with your stress. Maybe it's financial pressure. Maybe it's the shame about your past. Maybe it's the overwhelming nature of rebuilding your entire existence. Your brain is already working overtime just carrying that load. Then you sit down to do something that requires focus, like writing or making phone calls or tackling that project that matters to you, and your brain goes, Excuse me, have you not noticed I'm already maxed out here? Can we just watch some TikTok videos instead? All right. That isn't weakness. That isn't a lack of willpower. This is your nervous system saying, I need a break from feeling overwhelmed. So here's a 3-step revolutionary idea that I found after diving deep into the research. I found a technique that's easy to remember and easy to implement. When you catch yourself procrastinating, try this. Step 1, become the compassionate observer. Forgive yourself. The moment you catch yourself procrastinating, your first instinct is probably to launch into some self-criticism, right? There I go again. I'm so lazy. I have no discipline. I want you to stop, full stop. You are not the voice criticizing you. You're the one watching it happen. This puts you in the power seat. So instead of— instead, speak to yourself. Like you would speak to your best friend who's also struggling, right? I notice I'm avoiding this. I must be feeling stressed right now. I forgive myself for needing to feel better in this moment. So here's what the research reveals. People who practice self-forgiveness are significantly less likely to procrastinate again. Why? Because shame is actually fuel for the procrastination cycle. When you beat yourself up, you create more stress, which triggers more avoidance. Self-forgiveness breaks the cycle at its root. Here's step 2, excavate the truth. So I want you to name the real stress. So that now comes the detective work. When you're studying yourself, your procrastination is never really about the task itself. It's about what the task represents or what you're carrying again in your emotional backpack. Ask yourself with genuine curiosity, what am I actually stressed about right now? Maybe you're avoiding making that phone call, not because the phone calls are hard, but because you're terrified of rejection. Maybe you're putting off working on your creative project, not because of lack of time, but because success feels unsafe, like it might be taken away from you. You might be embarrassed. In recovery, this layer often reveals deeper truths about what's happening. Fear of being seen or imposter syndrome about deserving good things or overwhelming nature of rebuilding an entire life while staying meth-free. It's okay to be scared about that. And that could equate into procrastination. When you name the real stress, something magical and powerful happens. It loses its grip on you. What was hidden in the shadows suddenly becomes workable information. All right. Step 3. This is channel your future self. Take an aligned action. This is where transformation really does happen. Ask yourself, what would the version of me who's living their best and highest life want me to do right now? This isn't about perfection. It's about alignment with who you're becoming. Your future self isn't some impossible standard. They're you with more experience, more self-trust, more embodied wisdom, and less fear. So maybe they want you to make that one phone call. Maybe they want you to write that one paragraph. Maybe they want you to practice saying no with kindness instead of avoiding the conversation altogether. Then, this is really crucial, take just one minute of action. Set a timer. Just one. And why does that work? Because starting is the hardest part. Once you begin, momentum will carry you forward. But more importantly, every time you take action, despite not feeling ready, you're literally building evidence that you are the kind of person who shows up for themselves. This is about rewiring your identity. And here's what nobody tells you about this whole process. You're not just changing your behavior. You're changing who you believe yourself to be. Each time you catch yourself with compassion instead of criticism, you're becoming someone who treats themselves with kindness. Each time you name your stress instead of numbing it, you're becoming someone who faces truth with courage. Each time you take aligned action despite your fear, you're becoming someone who trusts their own capacity. For growth. This is how real transformation happens. Not through willpower or forcing yourself to be different, but through small, consistent acts of self-love that accumulate into a completely new way of showing up. Here is again what nobody's going to tell you about transformation. You have to act like you believe in yourself before you actually do. I know it sounds backwards. I know it sounds like woo-woo, but every time you catch yourself procrastinating and choose to use these 3 steps instead of procrastinating, every time you take that 1-minute action, even when you don't feel ready, you're not just getting things done. You're not just getting the laundry done. You're literally rewiring your brain to trust yourself again, to follow through. To take an action step. You're building evidence that you're the kind of person who shows up for themselves, even, especially when it's hard. This isn't about whether or not you fold the laundry. It is about the energetic component behind following through for yourself. So this week, I want you to become a compassionate observer of your own procrastination patterns. Not to judge them, not to label them, But to get curious about them. What is your beautiful protective brain trying to tell you through procrastination? When you catch yourself scrolling instead of creating, avoiding instead of engaging, remember, you're not broken. You're not behind. You're learning new ways to navigate stress without the old outdated coping mechanisms. And that takes courage. The person you're becoming, the one living their best and highest life, that person is cheering you on. They know that every small action you take today is building the foundation for the life that they're living. So I'm going to finish this video. I'm going to finish my work and finish writing my newsletters on time without procrastinating for a week again, not because I have to, but because the version of me who shows up consistently for this community would want me to honor our connection. So what's one thing you've been putting off that your future self would thank you for tackling? Remember, you don't have to feel ready. You don't have to feel motivated. You just have to take one loving step forward. Don't forget, everything is happening for you, not to you. Even the procrastination is for your best and highest. Because you get to learn. You get to learn what the stress is underneath. It's all information, all invitation to grow into the person you're becoming. All right. Love you all. See you next week. See you next week.