Dallas BraggFormer crystal methamphetamine user, I help men who have sex with men break free from the addictive patterns associated with Chemsex. Currently expanding my expertise by seeking to become a Certified

No, Self Sabotage Isn't to Blame

21 Jan 2025 · 2 min

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In this motivational monologue, Dallas Bragg addresses gay men who struggle with methamphetamine use and frequently attribute relapses to "self‑sabotage." He argues that the concept of self‑sabotage is a false narrative that reinforces a core belief of unworthiness. When positive life events (a good job, a promising relationship) arise, an internal protective system—driven by fear of failure—activates to keep the individual in a familiar, self‑pitying state. Bragg explains that this protective part is simply obeying the limiting belief that the person does not deserve happiness. The solution he proposes is a deliberate shift in self‑talk: constantly checking whether each sentence is spoken from love or fear, and anchoring thoughts in self‑love. By changing language and belief, the internal protective mechanisms will re‑align toward seeking happiness, leading to lasting behavioral change and reduced meth use.

Chapters

Listen to me when I say stop blaming your continued meth use on self-sabotage. We gay men who can't stop using meth like to wallow in self-pity and victimhood. We get a great job or we meet a great guy, and then suddenly we have to burn it all down with a good old party binge. Our reason is often, well, I self-sabotaged myself again. Well, what if I told you there is no such We like self-sabotage because it confirms the belief that we are inherently bad, a failure, and that our meth use is the enemy. What happens when we get the great job or find the great man is that it activates the part of us who says, whoa, wait a second. That feels uncomfortable because it's good. And because you believe you don't deserve happiness. You buy into the fear that you're going to fail. So that part goes into protection mode and keeps you from having the job and keeps you from having the relationship because it's saving you from feeling that failure, and it's only doing what you told it to do. So the answer is to begin changing the beliefs you have about yourself, beginning with the words you speak. Start right now asking yourself with every sentence. Am I speaking from a place of love for myself or fear of failure? Anchor into the love and you'll change your beliefs, and that will change the parts of yourself who want you to be happy, to push you into happiness, and your life will change.