Pendulum

Listen, addiction recovery is a pendulum that swings from darkness to light. In fact, our entire lives follow that format. We aren't linear beings. The more victories you face, the more enlightenment you experience in your recovery pulls you further into the light, which means you will swing with even more forceful momentum into the dark. And you will go farther in. Our role is to sow the learning we receive while in the light into the darkness experiences and to be sure to appreciate the contrast of both. In other words, when we are in the darkness, the guilt, the shame of relapse, the separation from family and friends, the depression, the fear— the darker the experience, the more we will appreciate the light. The goal here is to stay mindful that this is the process, to ride the pendulum in a state of self-awareness. That way you are not carried away by the negative emotions so much that it weighs down the process and you stay there too long. You stay there in the darkness so long that you are— can't even appreciate the other side of the pendulum. You're still in dark thoughts when you're over here. Journal, talk it out, stop lamenting over the mistakes, and know that this is the journey of life. This is the process of recovery, and accept it as it is, and accept yourself as you are.