A person describes using methamphetamine to treat deep insecurity, internalized homophobia, and fear of rejection. Meth amplified confidence that was already there, making them feel unstoppable in sex and life. They didn't use it out of curiosity but to address psychological wounds.
Because, you know, when I started to use meth, you know, it wasn't because I just felt like it. It did something for me. And what did it do for me that I wasn't able to get without it? And, you know, for me personally, you know, most of it was internalized homophobia, not having confidence, not being able to deal with rejection, having intimacy problems, and attachment wounds for other people. But for me, I look back at when I used and it was just, I think about how confident I was and how, you know, no, I didn't care if you rejected me because I would just— I would get you anyway, or I figure it out. And, you know, it was just like— and it amazes me how when I look back, and when I said not just like sexually, but like anything I wanted in life when I was on meth, I got it. I got it because I had such confidence. And the confidence was there. It always has been there. The meth just helped bring it out.
