Dallas Bragg explains why shame gets left out of addiction conversations. For gay men hiding effeminate traits, shame creates a split: a rejected part and a protective part that keeps harmful behaviors like meth use going, thinking it's staying safe. Recovery means bringing the rejected part back into the light.
This is why no one is talking about how shame keeps us trapped in addiction, because they don't understand what shame actually is. Shame is born when you reject a part of yourself to survive. For gay men, this often looks like hiding effeminate parts to fit into family or culture. We turn against that part of ourselves because we see it as something that stands between us and love, or us and acceptance. Shame is a powerful force. That part then splits into 2. One part is the rejected one kept in the dark, and that second part is the protective part that keeps you from feeling that same embarrassment and self-loathing you felt when family or culture first noticed you were different. That part is only trying to help you, and help looks like staying in the same meth-using cycle where you've learned to be safe. Shame is not out to get you. Shame is trying to help you. Recovery means bringing the rejected part out of the dark and finding safety in wholeness.
