Sober, Not Sober: Ways to Dig Deep in Sobriety.

Oh, recording. I just recorded an entire video without pressing record. So maybe it was for a, a reason. Maybe I got to practice first. Um, anyway, so what are we talking about today? My name is Dr. Dallas Bragg, and I am here today to talk about what it means to truly be So, uh, for me, uh, I successfully quit using crystal meth, and after that I made the mistake of thinking that I was sober. Well, after quitting crystal meth, I became a sex worker after that. So was I really sober? Um, yes. Hello everyone, welcome back to my channel. Today we're diving deep into The heart of sobriety, addiction, and personal transformation. So if you're ready to redefine what sober means, deconstruct your patterns, and overwrite limiting beliefs, the video is for you. You're in the right place. So hold on. But what is this facade of sobriety, right, that we have going on? So, you know, it took me years to realize something. It shouldn't have maybe taken that long, but just because you've refrained from using a substance doesn't necessarily mean that you're sober. The sobriety journey is just that. It's a continual and never-ending process, right? But the good news is that while it is never done, it's also you can't get it wrong, which is an Abraham Hicks quote. If you've never heard of Abraham Hicks, you can't get it wrong and you never get it done. However, I want to, I want to place a caveat into this, is that there, there is this, this mentality in the sober circles, especially in the 12-step programs, that I have a disease, right? And, you know, there can be scientific studies that show addiction is a disease. There's a scientific study to show anything you want, right? But when we approach life as if I'm always going to have this disease, it's always going to be with me, in that way, I think it's unhealthy to say it's a never-ending journey. Because you're always under this fear of relapse. You always think that it's lurking around the corner. And I also think that that is a technique and a tactic to keep you coming back to the rooms, just like the Christian church keeps you under fear to keep you coming back to the church. Again, it's not, it's not a blanket statement for all 12-step programs or all churches, but I'm just saying that, that is, um, there's a, there's a very unique energetic expression, um, behind each school of thought of this is a never-ending journey. Yay, I'm going to keep discovering myself and healing, or this is a never-ending journey. I'm never getting any better. I'm always going to fight cravings. That's 2 different energies. So, you know, when I thought quitting crystal meth was enough, but it wasn't. My life was still, after the substance was gone, being driven by old programming and old beliefs. So just take a moment to reflect. So have you ever wondered Or have you ever felt like, well, this is sober life, but it's still unfulfilling? It's, I'm sober, but I'm unhappy. I'm sober, but I'm bored. I'm sober, but there's just something missing, right? It's because sobriety isn't about quitting the substance. It's about unearthing the causes behind the dependence. And that's the real work. And if you didn't know it or not, That's what we've been avoiding with the substance or the behavior is digging in, pulling the weed out by the root and figuring out who we really are. It's really, it's a return to our true nature, what we were, how we were born into this world. So if you think about it, if you can visualize an iceberg, right? The dependence on the substance is at the tip. All the underlying causes, though, are beneath the surface. Those are the things that brought us here. Those are the things that the universe is trying to get our attention with. You know, the, the addiction, the substance, or the behavior that drove us into our rock bottom was like, okay, it's time to heal. It's time to pay attention. It's time to return to your true So until you address the distinct personality of your addiction, you're going to feel incomplete, and you may still crave the substance or numb your feelings with the behavior. So, you know, let's try to redefine sobriety together. Quitting the substance or behavior alone isn't the end of the journey. As we've just said, it's the beginning. So each of us are going to define sobriety differently. What's sober for one may not be sober for another. Let me just repeat that. What is sober for one may not be sober for another. You can@ me, you can comment me, You can argue, but think about how freeing that feels right now. Think about how aligned it feels to say, I can forge my own path. I can define my life for myself. Because I do not— I encourage you never to allow anyone Outside of yourself or any big book to define for you what sobriety means. I mean, really take some quiet time to construct your own vision of sobriety. And I'm not giving you license to say, oh, I'm still going to blah, blah, blah. You know, I still want to use this or that, or I could recreationally use. I'm still sober, but I use meth every other week or whatever. You know what the difference is. But what would your life look like if you were living your best and highest life? Your best and highest self is where your— is your North Star. That's what you are shooting for as a sober person. That's going to give you the parameters and the direction, and it's going to give you the prescription. of where to go next. What would my best and highest self be doing? And if that means a different version of sober than somebody else, then that's, then that's what it is. But let your thoughts flow really freely with that. You know, most addictions have their roots very deep. It's often starting early. Very early in life. So to truly transform, we have to start now here and deconstruct the patterns all the way back, right? This could be done in many ways, you know, talk therapy or coaching or your own work. But, you know, I suggest if you don't have access to any of that is just to start by brainstorming your major memories that have stuck out in your life. And my guess is they're going to have a negative spin on it because we have a negative bias as humans, right? But then, you know, you can also pick out major memories of your addiction or your relapse and just start notating what the thoughts were around those instances all through your life, what the emotions were, what the corresponding behaviors were. And then just meditate on it. There's nothing really dramatic here to do besides as you're writing them, you're probably going to pick up on some themes. You're going to pick up on some patterns. You're going to pick up on this overarching belief that you have about yourself. And if it doesn't come out right away, it's going to. But meditating on it, It means bringing up the situations into your mind's eye and just observing. Observing the emotions, observing the thoughts, the actions, the behaviors. Just observe without judgment and sit with them and just sit with them. And the answer may not come right away. It may not come the next day, and it may not come in the way it's never probably going to come ever in the way that you expect it to. You could be getting in the shower, you could be cooking, you could be watching a show, you could be listening to the podcast, having a conversation, and all of a sudden it dawns on you, ah, these are the patterns that are driving me. These are the beliefs. These are the common themes throughout my life. And the other end of that spectrum is you may think you know it all, but you don't. Approaching it with humility is also going to help. So when you are aware and you make a list of these patterns, make an action plan on how to interrupt the patterns. Do something completely different. Think a different way. You may have to drop people out of your life, but awareness is the key, right? Awareness is the first step. And a lot of times that's all that it takes. I know with, um, with addicts, a lot of times we have a control issue. We want to control everything. We want to control the outcomes. We want to control what we're doing in step A through Z. But being aware of it is a lot of times all it takes, because the universe does the rest. Because when you shine the light of awareness on something, it takes its power away. It's not a shadow anymore. You've heard of shadow work, I'm sure. But being aware of it is going to actually set into motion the universe's way of healing. And finding ways to interrupt that pattern is going to come to you. You don't have to sit there and devise it all on your own. So deconstructing these patterns, it's uncomfortable. And it's triggering. Um, but that's where the real transformation begins. You're going to feel resistance, you're going to feel fear, intense emotions. It's tough. Listen, this is what we've been avoiding all of our life. This is what the drugs did, numbed us out from, uh, this hard work. It's going to dredge up stuff. But I'm telling you, the most illuminating experiences I've had, the most level-up experiences I've had, have come right after the most intense pain, the most intense emotions, the most agonizing experiences. And so these— so what you can do is identify first in your current life what your emotional triggers are, or what I like to call emotional activations. Trigger is a word that We're trying to get away from, right? But in these emotional activations, they hold the key to the root of your beliefs and to the root of your addiction. I have an 8-step guide that I use that I developed on my own that I used, and the link will be in the description. But it's a starting place for you to take a trigger, identify the trauma, and then transform. The belief, right? So that's going to be a way again for you at the very least become aware of your beliefs. And it's always going to be, for the most part, there's always some flavor of I am not enough. There's always some flavor of I'm not enough because that's, you know, that's kind of the underlying theme of all addicts. But, you know, these beliefs, whatever they are and what flavor they are, they shaped your life's direction. But here's the exciting part. Once you override them, the beliefs, you create a brand new trajectory for yourself. Here's the thing is, just to take my example, is that my addiction started early on when I felt that I didn't fit anywhere. I was not accepted. I was rejected, right? I needed attention. I needed affection and I couldn't get it. So this belief started really early that I'm rejected and that I'm abnormal and those kinds of things. So fast forward to junior high school, and it was time to divide up into teams for sports. And not only was I picked last, but then there was an argument over who had— who was forced to have me on their team. So imagine an adolescent boy standing there watching, you know, in front of the entire class divided into 2 teams of their peers, listening to this debate over who has to have me on their team. What the hell does that do to you? But here's the thing is, what I have come to realize, and this is when you really begin to get sober Is that, that belief created that experience for me. The belief that I didn't fit in became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I projected that out and I created that scenario on my own. Now, that might be hard for people, maybe hard for you to swallow. But that's the way the universe works. That's the way our mind works. And so what I know is that I may have created that, but I— that scenario, but that belief was not created by me. That belief was created by my parents and by the situations early As a, as a baby and as a toddler. So if those beliefs can be given to me and create my reality, then what is stopping me from creating my own beliefs, overriding those, creating my own, and creating a new reality for myself? A reality where I am accepted, where people want me on their team. Where people like me for who I am and I don't have to pretend. Um, what's stopping me from creating that reality? And when you begin to take accountability for every situation in your life, every scenario in your life like that, that's when you begin to truly experience sobriety in its true form. So, I mean, here's the bottom line. You've quit the substance or the behavior, but you're still feeling unhappy and lost. But please don't despair about this because healing from addiction is a unique opportunity to evolve in ways that many people don't get to have. It's, you know, it can be kind of like annoying to say that to people, to say, well, you should be glad. That this happened to you. But that's not the route I'm taking, is that it is what it is. You're in active addiction, but you have a unique opportunity to involve in ways that a lot of people won't. And it's honestly an active addiction, and reaching your bottom is a gift from the universe. It's a gift for you to be able to do a life review. To change everything you know about yourself and create a new reality. Not everybody gets that, right? You know, let's heal together. Let's become the best versions of ourselves. And I encourage you never to let anyone tell you you're not sober if you feel like you're sober. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty. You owe nothing to no one at any time. You know, no, you owe no explanations. Now, there's a difference between having an accountability partner, right, or a coach, and feeling obligated to explain yourself to a sponsor who is just going to make you feel like you're shit, right? There's a different energy there. So that being said, if you like this video, if you love the, the positive tones of it, if you like this video, please like it. Um, subscribe to my channel if you'd like to see other videos that I have coming out each week. Um, hit the notification bell if you want to be notified when I do post. And if you're interested in sobriety coaching, I do offer sobriety coaching. It's a 6-month journey of its own. We meet once a week in a Zoom session where we create a plan for your life. We hold guided meditations based on whatever it is that you're facing at the moment. And then we will create an accountability plan. Also though, I'm available outside of those times. So when you are triggered, when you're in the heat of a moment or you're about to relapse or you have relapsed. I'm there to deconstruct that with you and help you to not be overcome with guilt and shame, but to look at the instance with curiosity. Because here's the thing about relapse. Relapse is an opportunity. It's a stepping stone. It's not a stumbling block. I don't want you creating— I don't want you having to get a new white chip. I don't want you having to start your days over. And all these shame and fear tactics to hold you where we want you. I want you to give yourself some grace, walk your own journey, be your own person, and learn from the gift of relapse. Speaking of, I have an online course, Reframing Relapse. It's coming up November 15th, or if you watch this after, it'll be recorded. The link will be in the description as well. But Reframing Relapse is about changing the way that you think about relapse, changing the guilt and the shame to something new and fresh and beautiful, taking the learning and being with it, leaning into it, and helping that inform your sobriety journey. And not only that, it's going back to your true Nature. Your true nature was who you are before all these beliefs were given to you, and your true nature is going to be who you are when you create it. When you get past these triggers, you create a new version of yourself, your highest and best. That being said, let me know if you want to work with me. You can comment in the comments. You can email me, DM me, whatever you want to do. My website is drdallasbragg.com. Um, that being said, I hope you have a great week, and I will see you all next time. Bye.