In this solo monologue, Dallas Bragg—a chemsex recovery coach for men who have sex with men—explains how to approach sober sex during early recovery from chemsex. He emphasizes that returning to sex without chemicals can be intimidating and may trigger cravings, either by reinforcing positive memories of past chemsex or by highlighting negative experiences. Bragg advises planning the first sober encounter deliberately: inform your recovery team beforehand, arrange pre‑ and post‑sex check‑ins, and ensure a safe environment afterward (e.g., staying with a friend). He warns that sober sex can prime the brain, making everyday cues (like seeing a shirtless man or scrolling TikTok) more triggering, so post‑sex media consumption and activities should be managed carefully. He invites viewers to share their own sober‑sex experiences in the comments.
Chapters
If you're in chemsex recovery and ready to have sex again, get back on the horse as they say, listen up. Hi, my name is Dallas. I'm a chemsex recovery coach helping men who have sex with men. For many men, returning back to sex without chems can be intimidating, it can be scary, and it can be triggering. Some of the men I help with, after they have sober sex, it will actually make them want to use because they want to have It makes them— it lights that part of the brain up and they want to have the kind of sex they used to have. Like, this was good, but I know how to make it better. Or if they have a negative sober sex experience, they say, well, that wasn't good. I know where to find good sex. So you really want to do this purposely, and you want to do this in a container of support. So if you know you're going to have your first sober sex encounter, you want to make sure your recovery team knows. You want to check in beforehand. You want to make sure that everyone knows what's happening. And then you go into it. And after, you want to set up check-ins too. How are you feeling? Like, report to people. Like, this is where I am. This is how, this is how it's reacting in my system. Am I triggered? Am I not triggered? Go to a safe space. Maybe you go stay with a friend after, or the friend comes stay with you so that you don't feel like you need to go out and do more. Sometimes after a sober sex experience in early recovery, it can kind of prime the background so that everything else is escalated. So if you see a man jogging down the street without a shirt on, you may look longer, or you may stop on that TikTok a little longer, or you may start fantasizing a little more. That is, you've activated something in your system. So you want to also be sure and be careful about what you ingest after the sex. And just in terms of what you watch, what you participate in, and how you spend your time. Tell me in the comments, what has your sober sex experience been like?
