The One Shift To Revolutionalize Your Tina Recovery

Hey y'all, Dallas Bragg here. Former meth user, now recovery coach for men who have sex with men who want to break free from meth or Tina. On this channel, I post short-form content daily, one long-form video like this each week, and of course, videos of my podcast called The Aftermeth. Check it out if you haven't seen it yet. Please subscribe, like, and turn on the notifications on this channel so you don't miss any of my content. Now today we are talking about hope versus certainty when it comes to recovery from crystal meth. And to begin, as I usually do, I'm going to share a little story from my past. When I was in active addiction, I was known in the Tina community as a wild card. A Russian dealer with one leg dubbed me that title. He's also a follower of mine, so I hope you enjoy the shout out. I took really dangerous risks. I was often leaping before looking. I was kind of dubbed— what was that called? Dare Me to Do It or something like that. I even had a Tumblr page called Dare Me to Do It because anything anyone dared me to do, I would do it without question. But on this particular night, I was scared out of my mind. I had one hand on the dash, one hand on the door handle, I was inside a van. The van was swerving from the median to the guardrails, and my eyes were darting from the road to the driver. You know how that is. Every time he would doze off, I would yell at him. We had been awake for days, and I finally demanded he let me out or let me drive. So he was not going to let me drive his precious van, so he took the next exit. And told me to get out. So there I was in the middle of the night, miles from home, standing by an industrial park, not even, not even a place where people lived, not even civilization, holding a phone without service. And that was the point. One of the most helpless moments of my active meth use when I looked up into the sky and knew In my heart that I was done with that life. There wasn't much that I was sure of at that point, like how in the hell was I going to get home. But one thing I knew in my soul was that I would be free from meth. It was a certainty that came over me that calmed my nervous system. The rest of that night is a story That I could sit here and tell you for probably another hour. But I don't have the space or the capacity for that, to tell you what happened in the next 2 days before I actually finally did get home. But what is important to you, or for you to know, is that being left on the side of the road that night is my day 1 of recovery. So you may hear me say that I've been Tina-free for almost 7 years. But my day 1 of recovery began 8 and a half years ago. That moment, that moment began the descent out of my active addictive patterns. Yes, I used after that night, but everything was different. Even though I was going through the motions, I had a newfound resolve that pulsed through my veins along with the substance. It was a knowingness that no matter what the external circumstances were, I was on my way out. That, my friends, is faith in the unseen. That is certainty beyond logic. That is trust in the divine plan that was activated by a soul decision. The journey out of that life required more using experiences. I used after that, but they were required to prepare me with the strength to finally break free. If I were to get myself mired in guilt and shame associated with what we call relapse, I may have wandered around lost for many, many more years. Listen, there's something powerful happening in your life right now. Even if you can't see it, the very fact that you're watching this video, if you've watched it this far, means that you've already begun your journey home to yourself. This isn't just another Addiction recovery video. This is your reminder that you are exactly where you need to be. There's nowhere better to be. There's nothing better to be doing. There's no one better to be than you right now in the fullness of this moment. You see, the the moment you first whisper to the universe. I want to stop using this drug. Something profound shifted. Not in the physical world, not yet, but in the spiritual realm where all change begins. When you whispered that prayer, the path opened up. It was created. There is a timeline and an identity where you are not using crystal meth anymore. Your reality is shaped Not by what your eyes see around you, but by the certainty you hold in your heart. Maybe you're listening to this fresh out of a relapse, which I prefer using episode or using experience or slip-up, whatever. You might be feeling shame, doubt, and fear, and your physical senses might be screaming, That nothing has changed here. I believe though that in the moment you create a desire for transformation, the path is created toward that desire. It's, it's planned. It's a curriculum. The problem is that we try to control what that path should look like based on our limited beliefs and the mandates that are given to us by the mainstream recovery industry on what that path should look like. And if the path doesn't resemble our expectations or what we're told they should be, we punish ourselves and we're punished by them and assume that we are on the wrong track. It works if you work it. Think about a seed planted in the dark soil. Listen, for days, weeks, there's no visible sign of life, but beneath that surface, an intricate Dance of transformation is taking place. Your recovery journey is no different than that. Every moment, even the painful ones, even the depths of despair, serves your soul's evolution. There's a world of difference between saying, I hope I can quit, And saying, I am certain that I am on the right path. Hope lives in the future. Certainty lives in the now. Hope second-guesses the plan, but certainty trusts unconditionally. Hope leaves room for failure, but certainty doesn't even consider it at all. When you say, I hope, you're actually creating distance between yourself and your desire. You're second-guessing Guessing the universe's plan for yourself. But when you declare, I am certain, you align with the divine truth of your transformation. When you are certain, it comes from the heart. Hope comes from the head. Logic. Looking at the logic of current evidence, the 5 senses. Remember, relapses Don't negate your path. They're part of it. They can be part of it. Maybe you won't relapse at all, but each time you stumble, you're not falling backwards. You're gathering data for your journey forward. It's part of the plan. This isn't about perfection. It's about perception. Listen to that again. Rewind it if you have to. Listen to it again and again and say it again and again. This isn't about perfection. It's about perception. How you perceive the world around you. How you respond to the experience of life. How you filter through the lens. How you choose to see things like a relapse. How you choose to extract from it. This week, I invite you to practice this transformation of language and thought. Instead of, I hope I can stay meth-free today, say, I am certain that every experience today serves my highest good. That sets the tone for a response That is in a positive, this is for me, how can I learn from it? Instead of, this is horrible, this is a mistake, this has taken me off track, this proves that I'm a failure, this proves that I'm an addict. Instead of saying, I'm afraid I'll relapse, affirm that I trust in the divine process of my recovery journey. And instead of, I wish I could be strong, No, strength flows through me in every moment if I choose it. So here's a meditation for divine certainty. So take a moment and place your hand on your heart and breathe deeply and say, I am exactly where I need to be. Every step of my journey serves my soul's evolution. I trust in the divine process of my recovery. I am certain of my path, even when my eyes cannot see it. And so it is. Speaking of meditation, I recently made one that coincided with the current full moon. This was in January 2025. The full moon was the Wolf Moon, but it If you're interested in it, I'm going to put the link right here so that you can enjoy it. I follow a man named David Guillaume. He is a teacher of the Kabbalah. According to David Guillaume, there are four phases of transformation, and this this goes right along with recovery. Number one, the thought, your initial desire to change. That is all it takes. That is your day one. Stop saying I had. 3 years. I had a month clean, which I don't like that word anyway. I had 2 years. You didn't have it. You didn't had it. You have it. It is still there. You worked hard for it. Stop saying that you're starting over. The thought, the desire to change is your day 1. Number 2 is the void. That's the challenging period of uncertainty. That's that buffering period. That's that, that time when you might be oscillating and you might be using some. That's the Challenging period of uncertainty. Then comes number 3, the labor, building new patterns. That's when you're interrupting patterns. You're doing something different every day. You're being consistent with your journaling or whatever it is that you take on. You're interrupting the pattern. You're creating new thoughts in your mind. You're reprogramming the subconscious. And number 4, the birth. The manifestation of your new reality. When you begin to believe, I am someone who does not use crystal meth, and you begin thinking, behaving, and speaking on that timeline. If we overlay this onto your recovery journey, the broader picture of your journey shows us the whole story, not just, oh, I stopped using on this date. We must Stop labeling experiences, like using episodes, as something that erases the labor that you've invested. Building new patterns is a process that isn't a flip of the switch. It isn't a flip of the fingers. You're not just trying to quit crystal meth. You're participating in a process of soul evolution, identity shift. Every craving, every doubt, every moment of struggle is actually an opportunity. To choose certainty over fear. What can you choose right now? Listen, that night, standing alone miles from home, having no idea how I would ever get anywhere, I could have panicked. Being placed in an impossible situation like that forced me into creating a desire for a new life. If I had stayed in that van, we would have gone down the interstate and gone home, and I'd probably just got high. Everything, every experience, Is happening for you. I was left on the side of the road to begin digging my way out. The only thing I had that night was certainty. I had no other choice but to believe in that moment that it was a turning point. Don't wait to be left on the side of the road. Don't wait to be backed against the wall. Don't be forced into birthing your desire. You can pause right now, look into your heart, and trust, trust that the plan is leading you home no matter what your 5 senses are telling you. And that path requires you to step forward. forward regardless of how you feel. Take the next step. Take the next step. Create that desire. Feel it in your soul. Know in your heart, I'm on my way home. I'm on my way home. It's what I kept saying to myself that night. I'm on my way home. Breathe and know that you're one day closer to a Tina-free life. I love you. I love all of you. And I'd love to hear your thoughts. Tell me your thoughts in the comments. Tell me your stories. Let's have a conversation. Let me know if you need support. Thank you.