In this monologue, Dallas Bragg warns that the period between Christmas and New Year’s is a peak relapse window for people recovering from crystal meth, especially those involved in the “Tina” scene. He outlines a multi‑step strategy to stay sober: (1) practice radical honesty and transparency with oneself and one’s support network about cravings and potential use plans; (2) impose strict whereabouts monitoring and a tightly‑filled schedule so that decisions are pre‑made and there is no idle time to tempt relapse; (3) block or remove access to triggering apps, contacts, and dealer numbers, even changing phone numbers or turning phones off during vulnerable hours; (4) if use is unavoidable, adopt a harm‑reduction plan (e.g., limited amount, virtual sexual activity) while rejecting shame and the “addiction hell” narrative. Bragg frames these steps as temporary handcuffs that, if survived, forge new neural pathways that associate holidays with sobriety. He emphasizes realistic, empowered recovery over moralizing, urging listeners to create concrete plans for 2025.
Chapters
The time between Christmas and New Year's are notoriously high relapse periods. We are faced with family triggers, shame, intense emotions. We allow ourselves to be bored. We have FOMO because we know how the Tina scene is, how active it is during this time. Everybody's out there using. There's people in from out of town, and the new year can bring shame around, will I spend yet another year obsessed with crystal meth use? And, shouldn't I be in a different place than I am now? And all those other disempowering, victim-enhancing, intrusive limiting beliefs we like to entertain as meth users. Now, if I know guys in early recovery like I think I do, you may be already thinking ahead And subconsciously crafting a plan of when you could safely use. The brain is so much more intelligent than we give it credit. It is already prepping and pouring in anticipatory dopamine as the holiday break approaches. The question for you is, are you at the mercy of automatic chemical responses, or are you in control of your own life? To be in control, counterintuitively, you have to relinquish some control. First, honesty and transparency. It can be easy to feel like you are maintaining control by selectively sharing information with others around you. You've been used to parsing out what you want people to know when you're in your act of using. Many men who begin this program omit their desire and plotting to use from me, or don't tell me that they've entertained party conversations already, etc., etc. I understand that you've been used to hiding and plotting in secret. Be honest with yourself and those in your support network. Saying out loud, I could use during the holidays, there's a possibility, or I I want to use, I'm already planning, I'm already plotting, shines light on the desires. And most of the time that takes their power away. So the more thoughts you keep to yourself, the more likely they will grow into action. So second, your whereabouts. It can feel so infantilizing to let people know where you are and what you're doing 24/7. Remember, this is not a permanent way of life. This is temporary while you're in new— while you're newly in recovery. It feels like you're being controlled by a possessive partner or something like that. But during the holidays, and really most any potential dangerous time like weekends, in early recovery, you do not want to leave any opportunity to make a choice. That means set up your time and your schedule in a way that Making the choice of where to be and what to do is already made for you. It is like how I set my calendar. I have every hour on the hour of my day designated, even my nap time, because I know if I leave space open to decide what to do, most likely I won't do anything. The same applies to the holiday break if you truly want to break this cycle. Now, this constant accountability, again, it's not This is a temporary handcuffing of yourself to keep you away from crystal meth. If you can make it through this season, this cycle, without using, you have created a new neural pathway that says, during the holidays, we don't use meth. Now, remember the pathways. It's like a pathway through the woods. The other pathways you've, you've, you've ran in pretty good, right? They're deep-seated. The path is clear. This is a new one, so it takes a few times. But once you begin reprogramming the subconscious this way, you begin to live and think a little differently. Third, the fucking apps and the sites, as well as buddies, using buddies and dealer contacts in your phone. I feel like at this point I shouldn't have to say this, but block them. Put blocks on your phone and give someone else the password. And if you have to, get a new phone number. Also, how about turning the phone off at 8 PM until the next morning? Do what you have to do to stay away from these toxic outlets to use. They are the gateway. You know this. You know good and well you aren't on Grindr just to see who's around or on because you know many gays travel for the holidays, so you want to experience new dicks and new holes. I promise you, Those guys and those dicks and those holes will still be there on the grid once you are in a place where you can be on the apps without being tempted to party. They will still be there. Removing any access to the apps and other people you've used with is pretty damn foolproof for the most part. If you absolutely have to use, listen to this, why not participate in harm reduction? You can jump on a Zoom and jerk off there. You can jerk off to PNP porn. You can commit to using a certain small amount, etc., etc. I am more than happy to work with you on a harm reduction plan. Do not feel shameful about this. Do not feel like it's giving you permission to use, or allow the mainstream recovery voices to tell you that you're going to addiction hell. This is a journey, and we must be realistic about it and be empowered to speak your needs. So create a schedule and a plan if you want to usher in 2025 without a using episode. Without a plan, you are rolling the dice. And sorry to say that most of the time, the odds are on Tina's favor, especially in newly— in new recovery. Happy holidays.
