A gay man examines how white masculine tops dominate gay hierarchies and reflects on his journey from self-hate to embracing femininity through drag. His husband's support helped him overcome internalized homonegativity and find liberation in self-expression.
White masculine tops are at the top of the gay food chain. Exactly. That's exactly what I say. That's exactly what I say. And then you look, you look down the food chain and, you know, it usually goes with masculinity. I hear, and I'll use this as an example, I hated myself so much for being gay. In sobriety, I have started doing drag. But for me, I have been able to tap into this feminine energy that I have, and I feel liberated when I do it. Yeah. Now, you know, I, I am— to be honest, I have a husband who's secure enough and loves me and supports me, but my internalized, uh, homonegativity would have never let me do that if I was a single man.
