Dallas Bragg, a recovery coach, explains why queer men relapse on meth and chemsex. He separates surface wanting, the conscious choice to stay clean, from deep wanting, the urge to escape loneliness and self-hatred. Relapse happens when deep wanting wins. Noticing both without shame gives you back control.
Have you ever wondered why you keep going back to meth even though you don't want to? Hey, my name is Dallas. I'm a recovery coach for queer men who want to break free from the addictive patterns of chemsex and live their best and highest life. I hear it very often. I don't even want to do it anymore, but I find myself right back at the party or the chill out. Here's the answer. Something called surface wanting versus deep wanting. Every person in addiction recovery needs to understand this. Surface wanting is your conscious mind saying, I want to be drug-free, while deep wanting is the primal voice saying, I need to escape this feeling right now. That feeling could be loneliness, rejection, isolation, self-hatred. Understanding this divide is crucial because we often carry deeper programming about acceptance and belonging. So how you overcome this is being able to observe both levels without judgment. That's when you gain the power to choose which one drives your decisions. Judgment looks like shaming yourself for your choices, or even wanting to use at all, speaking negatively about your journey, like, I can't believe I'm still struggling with this. Look, recovery is possible when you stop fighting yourself and start understanding yourself.
