Dallas Bragg tells men struggling with chemsex to stop punishing themselves for what they didn't do. Shame over near-misses like scrolling past Grindr or blocking a contact only feeds the cycle. Celebrate the small wins instead.
I want to invite you to stop punishing yourself for what you didn't do. And here's what I mean. Men who live with perfectionism often criticize themselves relentlessly because they feel safer in that dysfunction. It's probably because how they were raised, right? But so when they do something like find themselves on Grindr or having PNP discussions with an old user buddy, or even watching PNP porn, they punish themselves Because that could have led to relapse, but it didn't. So celebrate that. You are punishing yourself for the possibility of relapse, which when you think about it is crazy. Your inner critic is so harsh that rewarding yourself for stopping the Grindr scroll or blocking the user buddy before it was too late, or turning off the porn before you're too triggered feels uncomfortable. Self-compassion feels foreign to you. And I want you to anchor into every single win, even the small victories. Celebrate yourself. Shame got you into chemsex misuse, but shame will not get you out.
