Dallas Bragg describes bargaining, the third stage of recovery from chemsex, which can stretch for months or years while disguising itself as progress. The mind constructs deals you can't argue with. The only way out is a final, spoken declaration to someone else that closes every loophole.
In stage 3, the bargaining stage is where men tend to disappear. They go off track. So bargaining is the longest stage for a lot of you. It can stretch out for months or years if it's not confronted directly. It can hide inside what looks like successful recovery. It can lay dormant. It can survive intact even while you appear to be doing all the right things. Based on your ability to compartmentalize or even disassociate from your authentic self, this voice can whisper in the background for a very long time. The way out of bargaining is to not argue with your mind. Your mind will win that argument. Your mind has been running negotiations with you longer than you have been conscious of them. You cannot outthink the part of you that has built the bargains in the first place. The way out is to declare, not in your head, out loud to another person, in writing, with finality inside your heart. Except there is no loophole. There is no exception. There is no version of this where you get to keep any of it. Close the door.
