Dallas Bragg tells loved ones that relapse isn't failure or weakness. Shame and punishment make recovery harder. He argues relapse is often a sign the end of substance use is near, and calls for measuring success differently than just abstinence.
When your loved one relapses on crystal meth, that does not mean that they have failed. It does not mean that you have failed. It does not mean that they're doing something wrong. It does not mean that you're doing something wrong. It is not a time to shut them out. It is not a time to punish them. It is not a time to shame them. Relapse is an experience on the recovery timeline. Relapse is part of the journey. Relapse is a time to learn, reevaluate, and recalibrate. Relapse is actually a sign that the end of their use is coming close. But you will prolong the process if you turn on them, shame them, shun them, kick them out, tell them they're doing something wrong, or take it personally. We have to change the meaning of what relapse is, and we have to change the meaning of what success in recovery is.
