Dallas Bragg explains relapse as internal conflict between two parts of yourself: one that craves meth, one that resists it. When these parts stay unknown and separate, you dissociate and use impulsively. Integration and meeting each part's needs stops the war inside.
A lot of you are asking, why do I keep using crystal meth when I really don't want to? It feels like I'm going crazy and fighting against myself. The reason is there are 2 parts of you. There's a part who wants to use and a part who doesn't want to use. You haven't done the work to get to know these parts and integrate them, and until you do, it's going to feel like an internal war. That internal war gets exhausting, you disassociate from it, and then you allow whatever part takes over for the day to make your decisions for you. I'm going to show you a little tool that I use in my coaching program called Recovery Alchemy to explain this. This represents you, the real you. There's a part of you that uses meth and a part of you that doesn't. You're going to be pulled back and forth from one extreme to the other. The job is to get to know these parts, give them what they want, and then they will stop pulling you. You all come together into an integrated state. That state is called wholeness.
