Dallas Bragg talks to people in recovery about sex after sobriety. He challenges six myths: that sober sex is boring, vanilla, inferior, that kinks are off-limits, that celibacy equals recovery, and that your best experiences are behind you. He argues presence and consent make sex richer than before.
Okay, so you stopped using crystal or meth or monkey dust. You have a long— a lot of time under your belt. Now you're ready. You're ready to get back out there and start having sex. However, you've already tainted the experience by believing in the lie, the lies that stop you and inhibit you from experiencing the best sex of your life. So let's explore some of these lies. Sober sex lies. These are the things that you're telling yourself that are prohibiting you from having sex in recovery. Number 1, it'll never be as good. You can believe that all you want. It's your definition of good. That's the problem. What is good sex? Because I can promise you from my own experience, it will be as good and better. Number 2, I'll be boring in bed. Another lie. Another lie. You don't have to be boring in bed. Actually, you'll be less than boring because you'll be in your body and connected, and you'll be the least boring lover ever. Sex will be vanilla. Sex does not have to be vanilla to be sober. This is a misconception that a lot of people have. It doesn't have to be just missionary style and just whatever, whatever in your mind is about is a definition of sober sex is probably incorrect. Next, celibacy equals recovery. I see this a lot posting on social media. I see people commenting that they haven't had sex in 10 years, 5 years, 15 years, 20 years because they don't want to be triggered to use meth. Celibacy is not recovery. Okay, next, I can't pursue my kinks. Another lie. We have a huge sober sex movement going on right now. A lot of men in 12-step groups and otherwise pursuing kinks and fetishes in the sober world and enjoying it so much better because there's communication, there's connection, there's consent, there's boundaries. It's safe. And, and you get to go to sleep that night. All right, next. My best sex is behind me. If you want to believe that, Then your best sex is behind you. But if you want to believe that your best sex is yet to come, your best sex is yet to come. It's all up here. Do not ruin your sober sex experience by blocking it before it happens. If you need help with this or have any questions, we do have a group coaching program that we've just started. Comment the word group below and we'll get you the application, the information, and maybe, just maybe, we can help you out.
