Dallas Bragg traces shame back to its source: parents, religion, partners, bullies, cultural norms. He argues shame isn't innate but taught, and suggests identifying whose voice is actually speaking inside your head, then returning it to them.
So shame doesn't appear in a vacuum. Somebody or something taught you that you were broken, unworthy, too much, not enough. Shame labels often have an original author, and it's very rarely you. So sit with this question: who first made me believe this about myself? Maybe it was a parent, a religious institution, a partner, the gay community. Maybe it was culture. Maybe it was a bully. Maybe it was the cumulative experience of growing up queer. In a world that told you something was wrong with you. When you can identify where the label came from, you can begin to separate their voice from your voice. And from that place, you can ask, is this true or is this a story? Is this mine or is this theirs? Is it time to return it to its original owner? That's your shit. Not in an accusatory way, not in a vengeful way, like, Mommy did this to me. Mama, that was your trauma, right? Okay.
