Rebuilding the Man in the Mirror

When people look at John, they might see the physique, the discipline, the bodybuilder, the confidence, the life he's built. But sometimes the hardest person to face isn't everyone else. It's the person staring back in the mirror. Because behind all of that, someone who has to make mistakes, walk through dark seasons, take accountability for life, and figure out how to rebuild the person looking back at him. That's what it all matters. And today is not any other conversation about bodybuilding, but it's about redemption. It's about healing, moving forward, finding your inner voice, and basically using that to leverage your mantra, your motivation. It's about realizing sometimes rebuilding your life means becoming someone you never imagined you'll be. And today we talk to Jonathan PB, and this is his story. This is rebuilding the man in the mirror. Yo, welcome back everyone to another exciting episode of Beneath the Surface Podcast, a space where we get past the version of ourselves everyone else gets to see and talk about what's really hiding underneath. John, I'm so glad you're here, man. How's it going?

Phenomenal introduction, bro. Okay, I want to tell you that, man. Whatever you keep doing, keep doing your thing, bro. It's a phenomenal introduction. But yeah, I'm doing great, man. Um, I'm honored and privileged to be here, and my heart's still beating, so I'm grateful to be on this. On this podcast, fun fact: this is my first ever being on any type of podcast whatsoever. So I'm very excited, truly.

And another fun fact: let's go! Yeah.

So you get that, you get that, you get that blessing, man. I get like it's my first time doing a podcast whatsoever. So what I want to also say is that I wrote it down, but I don't know if people will see it or not. But yeah, everyone is calling me PB. I generally tell people call me PB because like if you're cool with me, I'm cool with you. You could call me PB. Because it was hard for people to pronounce my last name, but it's simply Petit Bois because you know Haitian descent. Ça va, ça va. Of course, of course. Cool, cool. But yeah, man, that's P. I'm excited to be here.

Let's dive into it, right? So like any other conversation that we start off with, we just want to know the man behind the muscle, right? So we want to know who you were, who you became, and everything and everything in between. So tell us, tell us about like what was it like growing up? Tell us, did you have any mental health issues like growing up? Did you have anything going on? Like what? How did you feel like? Because I've seen you on Instagram, right? And I've seen like this confidence like that that basically like showers like everything or downpours everything that I see on Instagram, right? So like were you always this confident or did it take a while to build? Like I want to know like I guess the man behind. The social media presence, right? So tell me about it. Tell me about yourself.

Man, so I'll say this first. So, you know, social media is social media. It's like everyone is seeing from the outside looking in. But like, as far as me, as this person to this day, I would never thought in a million years I'll be this person. I'll tell you what, like, I mean, I grew up in a household with a Haitian household with my parents. Luckily, both my mom and my dad, I was the oldest of the siblings, man. I'm talking about having 2 sisters and They're the ones who be annoying me and agging me and bothering me, but I generally love them to this day. But before all that, man, I'll generally say, man, this confidence wasn't in me, man. A fun fact with me growing up in, uh, in my community— I was in Orlando, Florida, born and raised— and, and being as a Haitian, I was getting bullied a lot, generally because of my skin, man. I wasn't too— man, it was too scary to a point.

Really?

Yeah, man, I'll tell you what, it was too scary to a point Where I was getting so bullied, um, because of my skin. So man, the confidence, I would say, I want to say it probably built up from middle school to being in high school too. Of course I got my graduate, um, of course I graduated from high school and then eventually went to college after that and so on and so forth. But I know we'll dive into that later. But yeah, man, I would say generally the confidence, I don't think it was there in elementary for sure. Or middle school. I'll say a bit high school. It got— it was there because of like, I grew a little bit of like, I guess, hair, if you could say something like that. Yeah.

So when you're saying like, so people would make fun of you like just because like, I guess like the color, like the, the color of your skin, or just like just because like they would correct like— and then with you with that and also being a class clown, was it like You were trying to like have like the, the jokes before they did kind of thing? Like, you know how like comedians say like, oh, you got to beat them to the punchline kind of thing? Was that essentially what you were trying to do, or was it something deeper than that?

Yeah, I think it's like speech up. She thought it was gonna be— oh wow. Yeah, um, writing skills when I was a kid too. Okay, I could say that what it was, but Back in, back in elementary and middle school, it was like, if you're light-skinned, you're winning, man. You're the top of the line, you're popular, you're— I guess it was like this interesting facade, like, as far as seeing like someone at that type of natural skin color. But look where you are today.

Yeah, no, I mean, the only person that needs to validate themselves is ourselves. And it's like, I don't need to have people tell me who I should and should not like, or who I Needs— like, what kind of music I need to or don't need to listen to. Like, because I— because we all walk through different tracks of life where we listen to different types of music. So like, it should be recognized that like, okay, you have a unique taste. It shouldn't be the whole thing of like, hey, you're Black, you need to listen to only rap music. Like, no, that's not the case. Like, no, exactly. No, no, no.

I'll tell you a fun fact, man. I'm glad you brought that up because genuinely Like, I listen to all different type of music.

Coldplay's great.

Yeah, deeper too. Um, I was just listening to him in the car and he has a concert, but you heard of Hans Zimmer?

Yes, yes, I have, man.

Even his songs, you're like, you're listening to them and you're thinking you're in the movie itself. Like, his songs from like The Dark Knight, I think there was another one with, um, Tim— with, uh, Tom Cruise was in the movie. The songs he did on Gladiator. I was like, man, this man was not missing. But like, I was just genuinely being myself. And like, I was like, I'm, I'm okay embracing those type of music. Like, because I'm this type of person, I don't have to listen to this type of music. I gotta listen to all type of music. But like, man, you give me some Coldplay music, Hans Zimmer, a little bit of Metallica, um, Nickelback, I got you, no problem.

No problem.

Now, would I say out of all those, I'm, I'm for sure a huge fan for Coldplay. Like, yo, I will, I will fly to another country for that concert with ease.

There you go. So, so now after we got to know, right, the man behind the muscle, right? So like, I guess like I want to segment over to kind of like see if, if there was any part like during that moment, like between like when you were talking about like middle school and high school and kind of trying to find yourself and kind of be like that jokester, right? So was there any part where you didn't recognize or Or didn't feel like yourself? Like, when, when all of this was happening, like, did you get lost in being like the comedy haha guy? And like, instead of being like this, and people were having trouble like trying to take you seriously, like, did anything like internally happen? Or like, did you feel like, did you make any mistakes along the way? And like, did those mistakes carry you?

Like, I mean, going forward? I mean, for particular for me during that time, I did, I did make a few mistakes, man. There was one time, man, I was literally like, I'll give you one example, man. I was, I was being too much of a class clown in middle school. And it was so much to a point where like, I thought, like being a class clown, you wouldn't get suspended or anything of that nature, right? So yeah, I want to feel like the one mistake I did, and I mean, it's funny now, but I mean, I look back at it now, I was like, man, it's crazy. But like, I was a big fan when it comes to wrestling. So eventually I did that one incident in middle school and I thought I was gonna get caught. It was cool, man. It was crazy. The teacher from, from my other class in middle school came to my other classroom that I had because it was like my 5th period. I was in my 5th period class. The teacher from my 2nd period class, she saw me do it when we had a fire, a fire alarm, like, you know, like going outside for a fire alarm practice drill. Oh, like a drill? Okay. Yeah. It was outside, fire alarm practice drill. I did the DX sign. Think no one saw it. Going back to my 5th period class, my 2nd period teacher walks back to my 5th period class. And then if you want to talk about snitching, oh my God, biggest snitch. Ms. Knowles, I love her to death. Shout out to her. The teacher I was in that— the class I was in, Ms. Letterman, God rest her soul. I love her to death. She was my math teacher at that time. Ms. Knowles told Ms. Letterman like, hey, guess what such and such, which would mean guess what Jonathan Pettyboy, I call him, do? And then she told what I did. Wow.

Right, right. Yep, yep, yep.

But it was those mistakes. I'm serious with life and making sure I don't play around when it comes to school education. Because one thing my mom wanted me to make— if I was to do anything, I had told my mom I wanted to be a wrestler. She wanted— I told her I wanted to be a wrestler. I wasn't scared. That's why I was strictly To take things serious, like eventually. So I didn't want to. I didn't want to embarrass my parents, if that makes sense. Like yeah, no, of course.

I mean, it's like for me, and I didn't want to embarrass them. Yeah, because like it's like middle school is like okay. Well, middle school is middle school. You could be a jokester, but like high school is like you need to buckle down, be serious, and you need to do what you need to do. And I guess like a lot of people, and I want to tell a lot of people out there that are listening, right? Like there's a difference between. That I made a mistake in my life, and I am a mistake. Because that's a huge difference. Because a lot of people are trying to like there's a lot of line blurs with that because people think that like well, I did this so I'm immediately like there's no hope for me. There's no there's no clarity. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. But it's like there no don't let your mistakes define you.

Right?

It's important to know that we all come from a past. We all come from like this shaky, like road that we call life, or shaky roller coaster that we call life. And there's gonna be a lot of turns. There's gonna be a lot of flips, a lot of U-turns, everything. There's gonna be a lot of loop-de-loops and everything. But like, if you're still, if you're able to like understand what you did wrong, or understand that like, hey, like. I need to cut this out and I need to focus on what truly matters. And I think that's what, that's what's important. And I think that's what I guess, like, um, I want to say that's what keeps us different from other people. And I think it's, I think it's important to realize that. But did you ever like, so when you were talking about mistakes, did you ever have that struggle of trying to figure out like, I am a mistake versus this is a mistake or I made a mistake kind of thing? Like, did you ever have that, like, like that struggle or that, I guess, like that argument with it within yourself? I would say.

Man, I would say, I want to say I feel like it was more like there was times I was thinking like I am a mistake. I was putting too much pressure on myself at the time as being a high school student or a kid. Like, I had a long, like, I got a long life to live.

I got more I got things that need to do, and I think that's important too because like like you said, like each less each mistake you learn something different. And I I want to say whole ten minutes, and I was thinking, and I was like going through everything in my life, right from middle school, high school to where I'm at now. And I'm like, and I paused, thought some more, but then I responded. I'm like. You know, I don't actually wish I would change anything because even though my life had given me so much trials and errors along the way, it's what shapes us and what basically told us, like, and basically prepared us for who we are right now. And I think it's important to realize that because it's like a trick. It's like a rippling effect. It's like, if I didn't go through everything in high school, then I wouldn't have written my book. If I didn't write my book, then I wouldn't have this podcast. If I didn't write this podcast, Then I wouldn't have people reaching out to me telling me that like, oh my God, like this is really good, like this and that and the other. So it's like you have to take the good with the bad, but you also have to— but not only that, you have to learn that not everything in our lives is permanent, and things in our lives that we think are, I want to say, deprecating, they don't matter.

Right?

Because it's not, it's not worth it. So, and it's hard because like we have to get out of our mindsets because we are our worst critiques, right? And it's like hard to get out of that headspace and that level set where like, oh my God, I'm terrible. Like I did this one thing, I'm going to hell. Or I have tattoos, I'm going to hell because I'm not going to be a Buried in a good Christian church burial site. But no, like, we're all— like you said in the beginning, we're all human, we all make mistakes. But we gotta learn and we have to adapt and adjust our situation accordingly. Because it's like, if you don't like the life that you're living, Hmm. you could wallow in it, that's fine. But don't stay stir in this moment. Like, pick yourself up, Move to the next direction and be better or do better, right? And it's like, it's hard and it's a lot easier said than done, but you have to, but you have to like, if you believe that you can be better, then you can do better, right?

So you're learning something new every day and there possibly may be some other mistakes you go through, but then if you're not making any mistakes, you're not human. I honestly think that The man upstairs, God, Jesus Christ, he's going to be the one that's going to be open arms and letting you know like, hey, it's okay. I'm here. I got you. Don't worry. I got you before. I'm gonna get you out this week again. Trust me. It shows the track record. So remember that, man. I'm letting you know that.

Definitely, for sure.

I appreciate you saying that. I like the money sign too, man. I like the money sign too. Because listen, man, trust me. We're on that. I love that. And then like, I mean, all that's going to go away too, for sure. But Amen.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, that's why like sometimes like that's— and going along the lines of money, right? It's like people have this notion and like, and like, don't get me wrong, like I'm not gonna like demonize people, but because like I've been on this boat too where it's just like where you think money is like the, the end-all be-all, right? But it's like, what happens when all of that's gone away? Like— Do you like, and like the people that like you were rocking with, riding with, like, like find out that you don't have any money. Are they still going to be there with you or are they just going to be like, deuces onto the next person? You know, like, it's like, it doesn't matter. Like, so that's why like physical things don't, don't matter. And you've got to take and take the time and appreciate those things that do matter. Like whether it's your significant other, whether it's your family, whether it's your pet, whether it's like, just like a new a new mantra, a new way of thinking. Like, doesn't matter as long as you have something that's like more meaningful than material things, then that's all that matters. That's the, that's, that's the reason to live your day today, right? And that's why like half of the time, like when I'm on my phone and I, and I'm struggling, like I kid you not, I struggle and I look at the, the picture. I don't know if you can see it because like it's kind of blurry.

There it is.

But it's a picture But it's a picture of my, my daughter, me and my daughter. And like, that's who I want to be. I want to be there for my daughter. And that's the reason why I do this podcast. And I, and I day in, day out have these conversations with different guests and different people who walk different paths on life, because I want to be there and I want to have the uncomfortable conversations and make them more comfortable because it's important. That it's important and mental health is important, right? Because that's that's that's what because if you're just gonna demonize everybody that has a negative thought, you're not gonna have anybody to to hang out with. I'm gonna tell you that for sure.

But definitely, as my health as much as possible because of those type of things.

Yeah.

I generally want to continue to be there for those. And like, I want to make sure like, hey, I'm here, I got you if you need help, whatever you need. Like, a lot of people tend to reach out to me because I'm very— I want to say reliable. And, and truth be told, I, I generally like being that type of person. It could be, it could be a burden here and there, but it's like, you know, generally being physical shape and health and emotionally and spiritually to be able to help someone in a Lend a helping hand whenever they're going through something, regardless whether it's like, "Hey, I need help moving." Hey, I need help with working out. Hey, I need help with training, etc., etc. I I'm good. I prioritize those type of things. Like I'm big on helping people out. Hey, I need I need a money lended here. No problem. I'm like a lot of people come to me because they know it's like I'm genuinely like a yeah. My family, my friends, my loved one, my future wife, whomever she may be, my future daughter, my future son. I want to still be able to be at some point to be physically in shape and to still be mobile. I got a dear friend, a fraternity brother of mine. He says this, he has an acronym. It says, IAP, moving is a privilege.

Wow.

Yeah, moving is a privilege. I'm grateful to still be able to see, talk, hear, smell, Walk. So I'm taking those things to advantage. So generally when it comes to me being healthy, I prioritize that as much as possible, man.

So that's awesome. So when you were deciding to rebuild, right, and this leads into a great segue of learning to rebuild yourself and everything, was there a moment where like you finally looked at yourself, you're like, this, nah, I can't stop here. Like, this is like, there's so much more to to push forward, or there's so much more to give, like, to the world, more than— I would say more than just like my comedical side. Like, there's, there's something there that I need to do. So was there anything like that for you?

After 2016. So I want to say 2016, that was the year. So it was when I got out of college after, um, I got out of college for my master's, and, and I was working out with my, uh, with my frat brother. Me and him were working at Enterprise at the time. That was my first job out of, out of college.

Okay.

Remind you, with a master's degree, working at Enterprise, right? So he would want to go to the gym after work, and I was like, man, I mean, I'm not getting recruited for football or anything of that nature. So I was like, what was the point of me working out? So eventually, because I wanted to hang out with him so much, I decided to like, you know, let me, let me go out, let me go to work out, right? So I start going working out with him, right? I liked it. Another weekend, I loved it. I mean, a month in, I'm adapted to it. Then it took off. Like, I was—

Oh, wow.

I saw the discipline I was getting out of that. Like, I wasn't so much disciplined when it came prior to working out. I was a bit disciplined, you know, waking up, going to work, showering, and doing the normal thing, going to church and everything. But I think it gave me that extra push of discipline, like to step out of my comfort zone, do things that I never thought I would do. Eventually, because I was working out so much, I fell in love with bodybuilding. So I think when it came to the growth or like getting out of that comfort zone and growing that discipline, I would say it's grateful that I learned this from the gym. Now, could I have learned this from any other places like the Bible?

Of course.

Reading, sure. Walking outside, for sure. But I want to say particularly like the gym was my, like my, my session, my therapy. And I do believe in, um, therapy sessions and mental health therapy sessions. I do want to take one one day. But generally I want to say the gym and working out and being healthy was my, uh, was my therapy or my therapist per se. So.

So, but once you started Like rebuilding yourself, like, and rebuilding this life of yours, like from like high school, from like middle school, high school, and now we're post-college, right? So was there a part of your life or part of the picture in your head where, where life was supposed to look like? Because like, because like you said, you lived in Orlando, you got your master's degree, and was this like as good as it was gonna get? Like, did you feel like Like you were gonna stay put in Florida for the rest of your life? Like, did you just like wanted to do this for the rest of your life? Like wake up, go to the gym, come home, repeat kind of thing. So was there— did you ever imagine leaving Florida at this time? Like, or it was just like you were just comfortable and you just wanted to keep doing the same routine over and over again, no matter how repetitive it was and how much joy you had? Was this something that you wanted to do? You still there?

All right, back.

So we were talking about like, so once you started rebuilding, right, was there a picture in your head where you thought that this was like the life you were supposed to live? Like, because like you said before, you lived in Orlando, you were— you got your master's degree. Like, was there ever like a point in your life or in your mind that like, this is where the story continues? Or did you have anything like, did you have Any inkling that you wanted to leave Florida to try to see what's out there, or did you find someone who came to you that was like, "All right, so this is what you're going to do next." Like kind of like a guru kind of thing. Like this is the life that I'm going to go, and like you need to follow me and do this, right? So was there anything about your life beyond of what was in front of you? Hmm.

Well, be a Floridian forever. I don't care what's outside of Florida. But I want to say when I was in my master program and then I took my first trip ever outside the country. Now, I went to Haiti before, fun fact. Let's just put that out there. I feel like I went to Haiti a multi— like 2 times when I was a kid. But the reason why I'm saying that is because I'm Haitian. So I feel like, hey, we're gonna go back to your home country, cool. But when I actually, actually went outside to see a different type of country, a different type of background, Was when I went to go when I went to India.

Okay.

When I went to India, yeah. When I went to India in my when I was in my master program, I was in awe because it was kind of like it opened your eyes to let you know there's more stuff out there than just Florida. It was more stuff out there than just saying, hey, I'mma stay home and be and be this person at home. Now granted, for those who like are born and raised in their home state, in their home country. Countries. I wanted to say Bahamas. I went to Jamaica once. I want to say I went— I mean, recently, of course. I think I went to DR, granted. I went to— man, I want to say— oh yeah, Colombia. I went to a lot of countries where I was like, man, it's just not this type of country. Like, it's— there's more out there. Mexico. Like, it was— it was— I think that trip to India opened my eyes to say, hey, there's other— there's more stuff to see outside of Florida. Don't, don't seclude yourself to one small tunnel vision. Expand it. Open your eyes. Open your, open your vision to see like there's more stuff out there. So I want to say particularly that trip when I had moved— I mean, moved— when I went to go visit India, I think it opened my eyes to say like, okay. I was like, oh, right.

Yeah, no, definitely. Was there— when you went to India, was there anything— or even not even like, let's not limit it to India, right? Let's limit it to maybe like to the other countries, right? Was there anything that surprised you the most? Like, did, did, uh, experiencing another culture teach you anything like particularly? Or like, did you—

were—

or was that Just the moment where you just like, this is the moment where I've been limiting myself too much. Like, I need a, like, that great aha moment, if you will.

So, man, I want to say, I want to say, I think it, it, it didn't limit me, but it gave me, it gave me an expansion to know that, hey, there's other, there's other people out here besides just like your, your, like, I, I mean, I knew there was other cultures out there, But to actually see it in person and seeing the different type of lifestyle they have is like, I want to say when I went to different countries to see what people were going through and living, it was like, wow, this is shit. Or $200.

Yeah.

I'm staying somewhere where I'm fortunate enough to get food and for this amount of dollars I spend food, but they're grateful for getting this amount of food for a month. Like, it was just, it was just a, it was just an eye-opener. So it gave me the, it gave me the, I want to say one thing, it was giving me like gratitude as far as like, hey, be thankful for where you're at. Be like, it, it could be worse. But at the same time, like, there's other, there's other cultures and countries out there that, that, that don't have a lot of resources.

Yeah.

Like, genuinely, that trip to India and seeing those other countries, it's like, it's great. They're happy, they're cheerful. Because I guess you could put this to say, like, I think they didn't care about what was like going on or what they were going through.

And jumping from that and then talking about something that you said that kind of resonated with me, where, where you were saying that the gym was your therapy and that's where you go to like basically zone out and basically get your, your fix, where like it's like, oh man, I had a rough day. Let me go to the gym, like, and this, that, and the other. So is this what was happening inside of you, um, when you were training, that it was like, I don't need— I don't need to worry about the outside world so much?

Like, when—

like, what happened? Like, walk me through that, like, aha moment where, like, oh man, like, this is probably, like, something that, like, I should have discovered a long time ago, but I'm glad I discovered it now.

My continuing my, my gym lifestyle journey, it was great, uh, and I'm still doing it to this day. So I used to make fun of people who bodybuild. I was clicking— I was, I was making fun of people who used to bodybuild, and to this day I genuinely love bodybuilding.

Yeah.

Like, working out opened my eyes to be like, wow, I can make I could make a thing out of this to generally become a bodybuilder. And here's the thing too, Danny, when I opened my eyes and became a bodybuilder, I was like, okay, what's the next thing? Let's figure out to do the next thing. So eventually after bodybuilding, I decided to get a license, be licensed personal trainer. So that was—

Okay.

So I also wanted to share my health and share my knowledge when it comes to training people. Because like, hey, if it's going to help someone Yeah, for a High Rock that I'm going to be doing in Dallas in a couple of— I think in November. But it's— I still have that love for bodybuilding. That was my first— I think that was my first competition love, and I'm never gonna let that go. Like, even after High Rock, I'm gonna go back and trying to do bodybuilding competition shows. But like, I do— but what I'm saying is that when I took these other challenges, it was, it was like It was like it opened my eyes and say like, hey, you don't got to be settled to one thing. I know some people they're settled into bodybuilding and that's that. But I don't know what it is. I got a competitive drive where it's like, if he's doing that or she's doing that, I could do that. That's that's just one thing with me. I have a huge competitive drive, and it's not just to say like, hey, I want to be a winner all the time. Everybody wants to win, and I'm big on winning. If I lose, I mean, it's a lesson. I take that to the back and then and figure out what I need.

Like it's like it's just that it's like it's like it's always you're all like you yeah you but going from that was there any a point like I mean and all that being said right was there any days that were training bodybuilding all of that was that the only thing that was keeping you like level head level set or was there other things too like like was this like the only form of therapy that you had or were you exploring other things as well as bodybuilding training Running, as you mentioned before, right? Was there other things that happened, or was this the only thing that was just like, I tried everything, but I keep coming back to the gym because the gym is the thing that keeps me centered, if you will?

No, man, I'm glad you asked that. So this move when I did to Houston, when I moved out here in 2019, I was still doing the bodybuilding thing.

Yeah.

And what I think was great about me doing bodybuilding was the network in the community I was able to build. So like, I want to say, was that the— was bodybuilding the only thing that was finally like my, my therapy session? No. I want to say there was times when it's, it's okay to genuinely network and have a, a group called like an accountability group. So yeah, I have a few of my friends who moved from Florida, moved here, and hanging out with them to do what they like, they share as far as their dreams and passions. And what I like about that, they're open to invite you with open arms to come to their events. Like, I got a lot of people in my church community who got a lot of great talents— singers, artists, cameras, etc. And I want to say, have an accountability group. Whether it's with your friends from college, your friends from— your family members from church, your family, your loved ones. It opened my eyes to say, hey, I could do bodybuilding, but there's other stuff to do out there. But you're doing other stuff with the friends that you enjoy to be around with.

Wow.

So I generally—

Sorry, go ahead.

No, so I genuinely feel like they opened my eyes to more things than just doing bodybuilding. So, man, what was the one thing? What was the one event I never thought I would ever do? I think doing it when we left work from Enterprise, I was like, okay, if you're gonna go do it, I'm gonna go do it with you because I want to hang out with you. And then we fast forward today, I got my friends, they're doing other stuff where they're doing pickleball. It's cool to, I mean, play video games, line dancing, man. I'm going to line dancing classes. But again— Okay, okay.

Right.

I'm doing other things because I'm surrounded with positive impact people that have great things going in their life. And they genuinely want to share, like, they just want to be around great positive people. Like, I'm okay hanging around with positive people. Like, negativity is going to be there generally in life. But if you got people who want to— who see the best in you, and you see the best in them, and they want to do something out of their comfort zone, and I want to do something out of my comfort zone, I'm okay with that. I have no issue to go pick up some boots and then go do some line dancing.

Okay, nice. Yeah, of course, of course.

You share their knowledge there, they share— you share your knowledge with them, they're sharing your knowledge with you, and you're in the atmosphere with great people.

So, so in the beginning when you were talking about like bodybuilding and how you got into it, was there ever, outside of like basically before you started trying other things, was there ever a point in your in your head, or when you were thinking about it, was there ever a thought in your mind that like bodybuilding was both, both like, this is going to be like a great thing for me, it's going to heal me in the ways that like it was like my therapy session, but like it was also at the same time like was like a place to hide because like you didn't have to worry about like the pressures of everything else like crowd like basically compacting on top of you like Was there— was it like a both, like a healing but also a place of hiding, like, kind of sense? Mm-hmm.

So, because there's times I try to work out with other people and then they're talking for 30 minutes, I'm like, hey man, we got to get this workout in. Like, we don't got time. Like, you gotta make sure we— like, we're on our second workout and we're talking, we're wasting 30 minutes on talking versus just doing our set, our sets. So, but to say that is, I generally don't feel as if it's like something that I use to be to myself. I sometimes want to be to myself because I just need that, hey, I need a break from the world real quick. You know, let me just do my own personal thing. Let me be to myself. But I bring in like, I don't know what it is. Like I have like such a social face, I guess what it is.

Yeah.

Like it could be the randomest person at me at the gym and he'll They'll walk up to me to have a conversation, and what it is is like when they want to have a conversation with me, it's just because I present that that that aura per se. But wow! So it was. I also told them if they needed, I wouldn't log in. But competition is not a good thing. Super. I was texting people.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that? When you're off of social media for a long period of time, and then you know the people have your number and they reach out to you personally.

Yeah.

And they like, hey, I just want to check in with you to see how you're doing. Are you okay? Is everything straight? That's when you see you have those true friends and when it comes to accountability. So when I say when it comes to a time for me, like, I'm, I'm like, hey, I'm locked in and I don't want no one disturbing me, it's when I get— when it's that competition, when I do a bodybuilding competition. I'm here to tell you is that I I still generally don't mind when people reach out to me, and I reach out to them. It's a vice first thing. You know what I mean? Be like, you'd be like, oh man, I haven't heard from you so long. Like, hey, I haven't heard from you so long.

We both have each other's numbers. Yeah, it takes two. It takes two to tango. So I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, for sure. So yeah, I say the only time that when it comes to me being like blocking myself from the world is probably when I do that bodybuilding competition. You have a goal that you want to get to and you want to make sure you get that first place. But I don't mind being social at the same time during that period though. Like, if I have your phone number, you have my phone number, yo, you can hit me up. I'll reach out to you, talk. It's cool. No problem.

Yeah, no, definitely, definitely. I definitely understand that and I sympathize with that too because it's like If you're in that headspace, right? And it's like, I get that way too sometimes, because like sometimes I'm such in the zone of doing things and I forget to come up for air. And it's funny how I say the metaphor of coming up for air because it's beneath the surface, whatever. Anyway, but it's like, it's like I get, I get in that tunnel vision where like I'm just doing my job, I'm doing everything and everything. And then my wife is like, keep nudging me. She's like, hey, hey, I'm talking to you. And it's like, I'm sorry, I, I was so focused. And she's like, yeah, I can tell. But it's It's like when you're, when your head is in the game about something and like you're passionate about it and you're continuing to do it every single day, it makes a huge difference. It goes from being a chore to being a lifestyle, to being actually like a desire where like, you're like, well, you're looking forward to it. And I love that about like this platform and having guests and talking to them and getting to know like them on a deeper level. It's great. So that being said, like, it's— we've, we talked a lot about making mistakes. We talked about rebuilding ourselves and everything, and we talked about seeing the world differently, like with your numerous trips and everything. Hey, you got a second? Yeah, it's me, Danny Francois, creator of Beneath the Surface podcast. What do you think of the episode so far? Pretty good, right? But let's take a minute right now to take a break. What if you had a place where you didn't have to pretend you were okay? A place where you could talk about what's really going on beneath the surface without judgment, without having all the answers, and without feeling like you just have to wear a mask? That's why I created Beneath the Surface Unmasked. It's a community for real conversations about mental health, identity, growth, belonging, and everything we normally keep to ourselves. Whether you're trying to feel safe enough to open up, figure out who you are, navigate through something difficult, or simply just find people who understand, there's a place for you here, right here, because your story matters. You matter. Join Beneath the Surface Unmasked on Skool. Link is in the bio. Come as you are. It's a great community and there's no judgment.

All right.

Let's get back to the episode. So now, knowing everything that you know now, when someone brings up the word redemption, what is the first thing that you think of? Like, what's the thing that comes to your mind?

Man, when I think about redemption, it's like, I want to say it's like, it's, it's, it's more like, can I, if, if, if I'm, if I'm saying redemption, if I'm thinking about redemption, it's like, hey, A lot of people want to think of redemption like, hey, it's like a get back, you know? Like, yeah, that's what a lot of people want to take a look like. Redemption could be a get back, but I— when I look at redemption, it's more like, hey, another opportunity to overcome something that you thought you would never overcome. Redemption, as far as like, yeah.

Right.

It's because of him. And if you think you wanna— if you think you need to have that perfect journey to get to him, It's all wrong. I thought that way. I've truly thought that, hey man, let me go make sure I got the, the house. Let me make sure I got this lovely wife. I got, I got kids. I got everything straight. Then I could talk to him. No. Redemption is more of making sure that you overcome something that you never overcome. And the reason why you thought you never— the reason why you did overcome that is because of the track record of what he had got you out before. If you had preached, yeah, let me. I'm a preacher. Yeah, I I'm speaking for myself too because there's times I get paranoid. I get paranoid and I'm worried and I'm like, yo, why? I get upset. There was times I was upset at Jesus. I was I was very upset and frustrated, but I was I was looking in the back of my mind. I'm like, he got me out.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, definitely.

There's a few times that I got in an accident where I was like, oh man, this is it, my life is over. But like, again, redemption as far as that is like the overcoming from what God did before. It's like he got you out of a situation before, why he— why you don't think he'll get you out of this one? So yeah, and I just like, I'm like, you could have as small faith as possible. I, I tend to worry a lot. I tend to work out. You could probably attest to this too, Danny. Do you feel as if there's times where, like, if you predicted what was going to happen in the future, do you think at some point in time you'll, you'll still do the things you do? Like, if you were to know, if you were to know you were gonna have— hey, what's up? How you doing?

This is my daughter. She wanted to say hi.

Hi, how you doing? If I give you one example, if you were to know—

oh, I probably would. I probably would still be doing the things that I'm doing. I mean, I would be probably paranoid because I'm like trying to— because like I think I would spend more time worrying about it and not enough time taking, being present in the things that matter. So that's where I think I would be.

Time or this day and predict the future. So that way they tend to be like more relaxed and more calm.

Yeah.

I gotta, I gotta, I gotta get out of that comfort zone. Like, I'm in the presence of here and now, and whatever's happening here and now, that's what I got to worry about versus what I got to worry about in the future. So I, at the end of the day, when it comes to redemption, is basically overcoming what you thought you never would overcome, particularly if you got Jesus behind your back, Jesus holding you. If he's, if he's taking care of your burdens Let go of that weight off your shoulders. Let go of those burdens. Put him first. Prioritize him first. Your life is not perfect. My life's not perfect. We're still living in the flesh that we have. But if we could have that, that spirit overcome that flesh and making sure we, we have that, like you said, tunnel vision, but—

Yeah.

Still having open arms with other people, letting them know like, hey, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm, I'm, yeah, there's no reason.

No, definitely, for sure.

When it comes—

no, I mean, I love that. That's, that's beautiful too, because like it kind of reminds me of like when I had a previous guest of mine, like a good friend of mine, Casey, and she was talking about like her journey of like road from recovery of addiction and drugs and alcohol and everything, and where she finally found Jesus, and she put it so beautifully said. And I, if I say it wrong, forgive me. But like you guys could check it out the previous episode, whatever. But it's like you don't have to. You don't have to come clean to go to Jesus. You don't have to take a shower to come to Jesus. You come to Jesus as you are to get clean. And I, every time I hear that, I get goosebumps because I'm like. That hits so much because it's like, you don't need to worry about what's happening. Like, you don't have to be that perfect goody-goody person to come to church. You don't have to be that goody-goody person to, to basically like put yourself in front of like, like your significant other and basically like put up that front like, oh, I'm big and bad. I make 6 figures. I have this money. I have this car. I have this, that, and the other. No. Just come as you are, and then you'll attract the good people that will appreciate you and love you for who you are. And I think that's very important for people to realize. So it's it's like and like you said, that's the that's the point of redemption, right? Knowing your track record, but also knowing that this isn't the end, right? And like that's like also. Which, when you say that, it kind of reminded me of the whole Project Semicolon, which I have a tattoo of on my wrist, where it's like, you're— the semicolon is to show— is a break. It's not a period. It's not an explanation point. It's not a question. It's a semicolon because there's more to tell within this story. And there's, and there's more, more room to grow and more room To like show you like there's more on the other side of that page. You just got to turn the page, right? So so I think it's very important, and I love I love how you define that redemption. It's great. So yeah, nice, beautiful. So I guess I wanted to know like if you had the chance not to go back and change something, but if you had the chance to go back. And tell your younger self, like give your younger self advice, what would that look like? And yeah, go ahead.

If I was talking to my younger self, I would sit down with him and say, hey man, you're gonna have a, you're gonna have a one interesting life, but I'm letting you know right now, God still love you. You're gonna, you're gonna go through some stuff, but I'm telling you right now, don't worry, God still got you. He got you right now at this very moment as you being a kid. I promise you that, and he's gonna have you at this at this at my age right now currently, and and so on and so forth.

So yeah, that's awesome. I mean, and I think it's I think it's important for people to realize that like after the mistakes, after that darkness, after you rebuild yourself, after those trips to India, after after basically traveling and moving to Houston from Orlando, Florida, which I can't really talk because I moved from Florida to Jersey to New York, so I can't really say anything.

But a lot of moving still though.

I know, I know. But like after, after all of that, like, and I think you touched upon this too, like what about what is your why now? Like, so tell us what, what helps you to keep going, right? Like, cause I showed you the picture of my daughter, right? On my screensaver. So like, What— so aside from Jesus, what is your why now?

Man, I'll say my why now is to be a testimony and provide purpose. So I want to say particularly, it's— I mean, again, it is with— he's the one who's going to lead everything, one of my decisions. But I make sure that I have a— yeah, they— I had the gift of being able to become a bodybuilder and and, and help other people, you know, train and work out.

Yeah.

So if my gift is to be able to provide help on being healthy and making sure they can be able to live longer, then I'm, I'm okay with that. So just make sure that if you think that you don't have a purpose on this Earth, that's wrong. That's false.

You—

everyone on Earth has a purpose.

Yeah.

And a testimony.

Exactly.

Your life, you, you've been through some stuff, I've been through some stuff, we all been through some stuff, is a testimony for others. So just make sure and remember that your testimony can help someone else out. Your purpose can help someone else out because your drive could be able to ignite someone else's drive.

Exactly. I love that.

Yeah. That you never thought you could be overcoming something that you never thought you could overcome. Being a testimony for others so that way they can know like, hey, I'm not going to be settled here. I have more to provide on this earth with him, of course, above me. So, man, hopefully, hopefully that makes sense.

No, it definitely does. And I'm getting teary-eyed just hearing about it, man.

Bro, I was like, hey, yo, Danny, I'm kidding you. Like, I was almost tearing myself too. But I promise you, I know I was literally— I was trying to not hold the tears back, but like, I'm kidding. I kid you not. I like— I— you, you have a purpose on this earth. I'm gonna just emphasize that purpose and, and, and let it— and let it be known to the world so that way it could be your testimony for others.

So, yep, let it flow. Yep, exactly.

Let it flow, man. Let it flow like the water, like the tears. Let the tears flow, man.

Right, exactly.

You're right.

But in closing, there's something fitting about bodybuilding being a part of John's story, right? Because building muscle requires resistance, and something gets placed under pressure, it gets broken down before it rebuilds. It needs time to recover before it be truly healed, and eventually it just, it just solidifies. But John's story isn't really about the muscle and the bodybuilding. It's about the man behind the barbell or the man behind the, the physique, right? The man who had the confidence to own up to his mistakes, the man who walked through many trials in his life, both known and unknown on this podcast episode. But I think that we need to know is that the man who once thought the world in front of him was just there and like he was just going to be limited to Everything that he knew after college and before he got his master's to where he went on to, to travel to India, which was an eye-opening experience to help him basically further his knowledge of the outside world, so to speak, or to take that first step outside of the house and seeing the sunshine for the first time in days or weeks or months or years. Right.

Yeah.

But the man who found therapy in the gym, that is the story that we are worth telling. And that is the meaning behind the man behind the mirror. Because sometimes rebuilding isn't just getting back to who you used to be. Sometimes it's about becoming something entirely new. So I think— or I don't think, I know That John's story definitely inspired me to be the better version of myself to this day, and I'm learning new things by having new guests on, right? And I think today is the day that like it taught me or reassured me to be that authentic, unapologetic self, and basically to to be surrounded by those who truly are. Are there to help me grow. So, John, I want to thank you so much for for trusting me and trusting this space that we created with Beneath the Surface Podcast to tell your story and to tell people about the track that you went through, but also showing them that there's more that meets the eye than just. A dark point in our lives, right? And I think it's important for people to realize that no matter what happens, there's always there's not an there's always time to turn around and to to find our trueness, our belonging, our sense of reasoning, or even our why. So I think to everyone listening, right? If, if anybody's in that season where they don't recognize the person looking back at them because it's a little hazy or it's a little foggy, or they need to like take off their proverbial glasses and basically take off the smuts or smudge from their glasses to see better, just remember your story doesn't end. Like John said, it's about redemption. It's about learning, learning and knowing your track record and basically being a better version of yourself. Where we can take accountability, we can be healed from all the past, and we just know that we can rebuild our lives. Like there's not, there's not a set period in our time where we have to be like, okay, I need to rebuild right here, right now, because this is like everything else matters, this, that, and the other. No, there's always time to change. You just got to be willing to take that chance and take that effort and take that moment. But before I go and before we leave you with like listening and thinking about this, right, is there, John, is there anything else like closing remarks that you want to say to the guests listening, watching, what have you? Like, is there anything that you want to tell them?

Man, I actually do. Go ahead. There's a— I want to say particularly there's one thing I had kept a note Um, but I'll say the one thing I want to say because I had a— I had, um, I got a note here, but I took these notes because, I mean, I'm big on my word when I look at it. So I'll put this in here. So that is— I'm just gonna read it back to you. So putting expectations on others when you can't put that expectation on yourself. So why I say— what, what I want to say is that If you have— if you see some people doing great in life and you feel as if like they're— you're, you're expected to do great, you could, you could expect to do great. But I would say don't put the higher standard on them when you want to make sure you're, you're doing great within yourself. So you can see that, you can see them doing great in life. They're doing great. They're doing phenomenal. But what are you doing to make sure they're able to Push yourself out.

I appreciate that, John. That's that was beautiful. That was great. Love that. Just remember, like John mentioned, and like I'm going to tell you every single time, your story matters, and so do you. We'll see you next time on Beneath the Surface Podcast. Thank you.

See you guys.