BYOU - Holistic healing with Reiki by Kate Lunsford

Hello everyone and welcome by the View Podcast. In this podcast, I talk with the greatest people from all around the world, and today I have a very, very special guest who has changed their Whole life because she has sadly experienced in her life, and now for her it's time to heal others with her amazing gifts. And I cannot wait to share with you Caitlin's voice because she has been through some very traumatic experience. Her life changes When she used Reiki, yoga, she studied psychology for now to help others, and now she's dedicated her life to guide people towards physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness. Let's welcome you to share her incredible journey with us, Kate!

Hi, thank you so much for having me.

You're so graceful. What an Inspiring story and so sad about what you have been through, that life brought you to the, to the ground. And yeah, tell me who you are. Tell me. Yeah.

Yeah. So, um, I, I would say I officially started my spiritual healing journey, um, in 2021, um, right after COVID. Um, COVID changed a lot. I know it changed a lot for everybody on the individual and collective level where the world was not what it used to be. And that happened to me on a very individual level where everything that I thought was working was no longer working. So I needed to reset, refocus with a different, with a different baseline and a different foundation that was not rooted in codependency, but rooted in me and in tune with what my needs were. And so that's, that's where it all started.

Wow. So it started during COVID and what's, what was the eye-opener for you? Like, okay, now I need to do something.

So I was in a relationship and that ended up not working out. Um, and so I ended up moving and then I had to move again because the place where I was going to stay was no longer an option. And then I ended up moving again. And so things were, super, super shifty in terms of all of the just life changes that I had to navigate. And I needed, I needed a stronger foundation because what, what I was basing all of my decisions on were what are other people going to think of me? What's best for other people? How can I best serve other people without thinking of myself? So that's I really had to change that and put myself first so that I could be who I needed to be, because then I can fully be there and fully be present for others. As someone who struggled with codependency for as long as I can remember, it's not easy and it's not fun when your life revolves around other people. So when you can switch that up and have yourself be put first, then you can really be there for others in the way that you want to be, um, not the way that you feel like you need to be. Yeah.

And what was the turning point? Because, uh, I recognized it myself, that people pleasing and do everything for others and then put yourself on, I don't know, on place 7. What was the exact moment where you thought, okay, now it is enough? Now I just put myself first, even if all the opinions of others, even if people don't like it, because then you will hear people say, oh, you're so selfish. No. What was for you this turning point of not people pleasing anymore?

I didn't want to feel bad anymore. I was tired of feeling sad and tired of feeling anxious and tired of just feeling like I was never going to be good enough.

Mm-hmm.

And I was so tired of feeling down. It's like something— what, what I'm doing is not working. It's not making me feel better. I'm trying to do all of the things, trying to do all of the quick fixes, and they just were not working. So I had to put in the time and effort of finding the right therapist, which could sometimes be a process, building up my support team and telling my support team what I needed and just not expecting for them to know what I needed. Like my parents and my siblings, my sister or especially friends and, and all that. So I got to a point where I was tired of feeling down, tired of feeling sad, tired of not feeling enough. And it's, it's kind of funny. I was still in the past relationship and I was— we were living together and I would take my dogs for walks and I started to see feathers everywhere. Everywhere I went, feathers were everywhere.

Wow.

And I, every time I saw one, I just would feels like something's gonna change, something's going to— it's going to be a big change. Um, and I, one night I was scrolling on TikTok and someone came up and said, if you say this affirmation out loud, like, expect big changes. I don't remember what the affirmation was, but I, I knew as soon as I said it out loud, my relationship was going to end, things were going to be very, very different. And that's exactly what happened. Um, so there were just little guiding ways that the universe sort of set that up. And I still see feathers everywhere. I love finding feathers. They're such a sign to me from spirit that, like, you're on the right path, you're doing the right thing, we're right there with you, it's all going to be okay.

Yeah. How did you, you know, find that those are the signs? Because it is a kind of spiritual awakening.

It was It was kind of an intuitive feeling. I just— it was like I was— I remember being on a walk with my dog and we had turned a corner and there were feathers everywhere on the road. I was like, okay, like, that's not just a coincidence. Like, somebody put those feathers there.

It's a kind of spiritual awakening to see like, oh, this is from the universe or this is Yeah.

Yeah.

How do you know?

I Googled it. I was like, what does— what do feathers mean? And I started looking more into astrology and trying to understand what my signs were and what those meant, which led me towards the tarot cards and the crystals and the Reiki and the, the pendulum that I have. So I use sage and I did protection and I started meditating and I started doing all of the things that that people tell you to do, but sometimes you do it just because you think it's what you're supposed to be doing. But now I was doing it because I actually really wanted to, and I wanted to feel the impact of it for me doing it for me and not doing it for somebody else.

Mm-hmm.

Because, you know, when you're in a group and you have people and everyone tries to help, they try to put in their 2 cents and you're like, well, maybe I'll try that, or maybe I'll try that because that worked for that person. But what worked for somebody else might not be what's going to work for you. So you do have to kind of experiment and see and follow your heart. Trust, trust your gut. Your gut is going to tell you the right way to go. That's something that my mom has said for a very, very long time. Trust your gut. Trust your— trust your intuition, which sometimes can be hard because we're not easily trusting in ourselves. But focus on the feelings and focus on, on the self-trust.

I find it so fascinating about trusting your gut. And sometimes we have all those thoughts in our head. Sometimes it's so difficult, especially if we are in those hard moments. What is your mind and what is your gut? How do you find the answer?

So I was really fascinated by the, the ego. because that's talked about in psychology. And then in terms of spirit, spiritually, it's, it's a little bit different, um, but very similar. So we have our ego, which is our biggest protector. Um, it's our biggest— um, it's not going to put us in situations that have previously hurt us. Um, so learning when it was my ego talking versus when it was my heart talking was a bit of a process. I had to, um, One day I was like, okay, I'm going to follow this voice and the next day I'm going to follow this voice. And based on how those days went, determined— helped me figure out which voice was what, because sometimes it gets so muddled, anxiety and overwhelming thoughts and the thought train just goes and goes and goes. So that was what was helpful. And I ended up building a relationship with my ego where we can— I now like my ego. My ego isn't a bad thing. It's just this alert system that's like, hey, you know, last time you did this, this happened, or, hey, this may not be best for you based off of this past experience. And I get to tell my ego, it's okay, this is just something new. Just because it's new doesn't mean it has to be scary, doesn't mean it's going to have the same result as it did last time. Um, I feel stronger now, I feel better now. I appreciate your input, I'll take it into consideration, but I'm still going to do what my heart wants me to do.

Wow, this is so—

That relationship is important.

This is so powerful. And for example, if someone just wants to start it out, to appreciate, to love their ego, how can they do this?

Just for me, I like to talk. I like to talk out loud or in my head to the different parts of me. Um, so just open that line of communication when you want to hear your ego. Sit there in a quiet space, have some music if you want to, but no major distractions around. Be like, "Hey, ego, like what's up? Like why why are we still staying stuck here in this moment when it's better for me not to be in this moment? When it's better for me to do the thing that I'm afraid of because I know the result will be better." Just talk to your ego. It it wants a voice. It wants to be heard, and it feels like it's not getting heard, which is why it's. so like, like, do this, focus on this, when it just wants— it just wants your attention. So give it that little bit of attention. Acknowledge that it's there. Be like, you know what, I hear you, but I'm, I'm still going to do this other thing that I think is going to be better for me in the long run, even if I have to make some changes and make some decisions that may not— that may hurt a little bit. Ending a relationship, choosing to move, Putting up boundaries with family members or people or anyone, um, in the long run, those are better choices to make than staying where you are, if where you are is in pain.

Yeah. And, um, when you are caught up, for example, at night and all those thoughts are coming up, how do you heal this? And sometimes when you're just caught up with all those negative thoughts, How can you come out of that? Because sometimes those negative thoughts feel so real.

Yeah, um, it's not always easy. It's gonna be hard. Um, so you have to be willing to put yourself in those hard places temporarily, knowing that it's temporary. When we have the overwhelming thoughts and the negative spirals and all of that. First, we have to be able to acknowledge that that's what we're in. We have to say, hey, I'm noticing I keep thinking this really awful thing that I really don't want to be thinking because we're all— we're on autopilot 98.999% of the time. We're doing what we've been taught, whether consciously or unconsciously, just the way that society is built culturally, our family unit. We're just running on autopilot and we have to be able to recognize that that's what we're doing. And then we have to give those thought spirals space. We have to be like, hey, okay, I'm going to give you this time to have this little spiral, have your little tantrum, do what you got to do. And then, and then we're done and then we're done and no more.

Oh, wow. I love that. Yeah.

Yeah, it has to. It's there for a reason and it wants to be seen and it wants to be heard and it wants to have a voice. And you can be very specific with how and when that happens. For me, sometimes it's the shower. Sometimes I'm like, if you need to have a good cry, the shower is a great place to have a good cry. I remember one time I was driving and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed and I just wanted to start crying. And I talked to my mentor at the time and she was like, tell your emotions that now's not the right time. Be like, hey, I can't do it right now, but I will schedule a time for you and I will, I will get back to you. But right now in this moment, I can't do that. So that, that was enough. So I was like, okay, I told myself, the next time I'm in the shower, I'm going to let you come up and you're going to— I'm going to scream, I'm going to cry, I'm going to punch a pillow. I'm going to do what I need to do to safely get these feelings out. And then I'm done, and then, and then we're done.

Wow, I'm just so impressed. Like, it is so cool because you still give it a voice, you still see it, and you don't push it away. You just push it away for a moment because you are in this— maybe in this moment, maybe you are at your job, or maybe you're at a podcast. Never.

We have so much more power than we think we do. We— because, you know, we have the different parts of ourselves that are like our ego and then our inner child, our inner teenager, our inner adult, our higher self. All of those are kind of battling for our attention. And we, we get to decide the who, what, when, where, why, and how of each parts of ourselves when they're expressed. You have to sort of take yourself Back, zoom out a little bit. See what's in front of you. Like okay, this ego problem, I'm going to take care of you at five p.m. when I don't have this thing going on and when I can sit with you and you can journal, you can meditate, you can talk out loud, you can type in your phone, you can. There's many different ways to to get it out instead of, and I personally don't like to sit in silence and have it all go on in my head. I would rather talk out loud or journal. That way it's not staying up in here. It's actually you're using your body to get it out through your voice, through your mouth, through your hands, through yoga, through breathwork. Um, any of those are all great tools for that.

So, wow. So what I find so fascinating is now lately in this, I don't know, Gen Z area, we need to listen to our thoughts, we need to feel. But what you say is so much stronger. You really take Uh, leadership of yourself and then put it at a time when you can. I found it so much better than just, you know, when you feel it. No, it has its own timing and you still see it, but it don't have to be like everywhere.

Nope.

No, I find it so much more stronger, more power over yourself. And wow, wow, wow.

Yeah.

Amazing. So cool. Very helpful. Yeah. So, um, and in your business that you are building now, Healing with Kate, right?

Mm-hmm.

What are the most powerful moments where you help someone? Like, oh wow, for me this was so impressive, it helped her so, uh, this in this way. Can you share a moment? Yeah, how you change someone's life?

I would say 70% of the time, maybe even more like 80% of the time, I'm just confirming what people already know within themselves. They're just getting that extra confirmation from a third party. Um, they're like, yeah, I— my feelings about that were right. Um, I just needed somebody else to tell me That I'm doing the right thing. Oftentimes, whether it's I'm just channeling or I'm pulling cards for somebody, they already know the answer within themselves, as we all do. But sometimes we need somebody else to point it out. So having that extra confirmation is is amazing because they're like, yes. Okay, so I was feeling the right way about this, or I am making the right choice. And a lot of it comes back to self-trust, building that self-trust within yourself that you have all the answers, that you know what's best for you. That is— those are always the best sessions where it's lightbulb moments going off everywhere because they're realizing, okay, I'm, I'm actually, I'm actually okay. I'm actually doing the right things. I'm actually in a better spot than I thought I was. I have more control over my life than I thought that I did.

Wow. And, um, what is it that— we already know the answer, but when we have a therapist and they say the exact thing, what, what is that? What is it? Share with me. Why do we sometimes need that external Yes, you do. What is it? I find it so fascinating.

I think, I think it's kind of the way society is built where we're— for women especially, having self-trust is not— was not always seen as a good quality because we always needed somebody else to take care of us. We always needed our father or our husband or our uncle or whoever to make the decisions for us. So over time, we've lost that skill of self-trust and knowing that we know what's right for us. So when we can— that sort of goes back to the codependency struggles, which is like a lack of self-trust, putting other people before ourselves, the people-pleasing behaviors. So it all, it all comes back to that. And when we can take ourselves out of that situation and see it from a third-party perspective, Mm-hmm. It's often easier to see what's right in front of us.

Yeah. And I think it's also very helpful if you have a therapist who say you do actually right thing, and especially if it is a couple of times. So it becomes like you get used to it, that you are doing the right thing, not just once or 2 or twice. Now it needs to be, I think, consistent. So your brain think, oh no, I do the right thing. It's, it's already has been done before, you know. I already do the right thing before, and it's like your brain knows about, oh, I do the right thing, I do the right thing. So yeah, fascinating.

Having, having somebody in your support system who is non-judgmental and just holding space for you to process how you need to process, because it's when you have a therapist or a mentor or you're working with a healer, they're not the ones healing you. You're, you're the one who's doing the healing. They've just opened the door, created the space for the healing to happen. That's— at the end of the day, that's what we as humans do for each other. We can hold space for each other. We can let the other person sit with their feelings in a nonjudgmental way, full of love. And we, we feel better. And that's— That's what I bring to my sessions. That's what I want all of my clients to feel. That's what everyone who I connect with, I want them to feel that they can be who they are regardless of whoever in the past told them that they couldn't be that. They're safe.

Okay.

Yeah.

How can they find you? Like, how can they have you as a support?

Instagram, Facebook. I'm working on TikTok. I'm getting ready to do a YouTube channel as well, but Instagram and Facebook are the, the biggest ones. Um, @healingwithkate. Um, that's me.

And of course they can book you.

Yep, on Be You, on their app. Yep, on the platform.

Um, oh my gosh, you will heal so many. I'm so excited. Yeah. So I just love that you, you know, share this story with me because I get to know you way better. And the way the things you share with me is so different than all the other therapy sessions that I actually had. And I was a child therapist myself and psychotherapist. And it was always, we use the internal world of a child. It was more of a child, but You know, and the more you have success moments, things like, okay, I can do it. And especially now with you, if you have a coach and they say, yeah, you know, you heal yourself, but I'm just saying that you are doing the right thing because you already know it. Yeah. It's beautiful. And also what you mentioned about not now, because, you know, we don't always have the moments or the situation where we can just cry. No, we need to have our own life in our hands and not just— I find it so powerful, especially this moment. And last week I spoke with someone and he couldn't be on his own and he was running away, finding addictions.

Yeah.

You know, not being with yourself because you have all those thoughts. And I found it so interesting about what you shared about it will help him so much if he just take ownership of his life, of his thoughts. Like, not now, you know, it will be some time.

Mm-hmm.

But being with yourself and actually take control of all those thoughts, of all those, and not just going in into women or into whatever, like, I, I will share this podcast with him. I will share this with him. He needs to hear this. This is so interesting. And I will also share your, your BU profile to book a session with you because you are so needed. Also for You know, the older people, they are used to walking away, especially men. Like, they need to be so strong. They need to be— and they need to be strong because I find that men become like women lately. And if they have more ownership about their thoughts, about their, their behavior, I think The mental health for those men will be way better. Yeah, ownership of their thoughts and not walking away or not going into seductions or— yeah, wow.

We definitely need to take ownership as, as an individual on our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Um, one thing that's been helpful for me as well is knowing that nobody else can make me feel a certain way. Because I'm the one who's in charge of my own feelings. If you upset me in some way, that's you letting me know maybe we're not a good match. So I'm gonna put some boundaries up and be more aware of how I'm gonna be when I'm around you, or maybe I'm gonna choose not to be around you. But I, I'm the one who's in control, and we're so quick to give up our control because we want to help others feel better. We don't trust ourselves, so we're looking to other people. But when you can sit there and be like, nope, I'm gonna be this way, I'm gonna think these things, I'm gonna have these feelings, I'm gonna be who I am, and if that doesn't work for you, that's okay, because that's another— you're just communicating to me that we're not gonna be a good match, and that's okay, and being okay with that. Wow.

Yeah. And do you also help men? Because I think you are so much powerful and helpful to give them the opportunity to just put this pause just for a moment, but they need to come back, otherwise they just keep walking away from it.

Yeah.

Amazing.

Absolutely. Yeah. If, if you, if a session, if you book a session with me, that can be your place where you've scheduled to process your feelings. Because sometimes it's helpful to do that with, with somebody else, whether it's a family, it's whether it's a loved one or a therapist or— but if you say you have a big ball of emotions coming up, be like, nope, I can't do it. I have to wait until I have my appointment with my therapist. I have to wait until I do this before I can process these feelings. And that is also— Why I think I had the seizures start is because I had never scheduled that time to process what I needed to. So my body took over and was like, if you're not going to do it, we're going to do it. So it's, it's very, very important that you make time to process what you need to. And you might not be fully aware of what you need to process until you sit down and either alone or with somebody, journaling, meditating. And meditating can be sitting and coloring, and meditating can be going for a walk. It doesn't have to be you're going to sit in silence. And obviously that, that is a way to do it, but that's not the only way to meditate.

Yeah. Yeah.

Wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

What I find about meditating My friends always tell me I need to meditate, but I cannot make time for that. And what I do with meditating is like going to nature, have a walk, and it is my kind of meditating. So I'm glad to share it, that meditating is not just sitting.

No, it can be different things, or painting, or yeah, it can be practicing yoga, it can be playing with your dogs, it can be anything Any activity or action where you're fully focused on what you're doing, you're meditating. You're in the moment, you're there and you're present. That's, that's meditating. And that's where you can allow your body to do what it needs to do. You dancing, dancing around your home is— can be a form of meditating if you like to be more physical. Painting, reading. I, when I go get my hair done, The stylist said that whenever she's washing somebody's hair, that's like her form of meditation because she's just there, she's in the moment, and she's present with the person in front of her and with herself. And that's, that's as simple as that.

Yeah, amazing. And is this something you would like to share to wrap this podcast up? Is it something you're—

My whole— at the end of the day, my motto is Healing for sustainable wellness and wholeness, because the whole point is for it to be sustainable. The whole point is for it to be something that's a part of our daily life, where we can wake up in the morning and we can feel energized, we can feel happy. We don't feel like a split person where we've got to go to work and give our energy to this person, and then we've got families, we have to give our energy to that person. When we can set up those boundaries, we can have that self-trust, know that we are the ones who are in control of our life. Um, we can feel well and we can feel whole, um, which is why we're here on this human planet having this human experience.

Yeah. Wow. Oh, thank you so much for today. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. Thank you so much for sharing your gifts. And, uh, yeah, if you would like to know more about Kate, please check the description box below for All her social accounts and definitely book a session with her because she can really help you feel way better. Thank you so much, Kate. Thank you.