Financial Unity in Your Marriage with Bob and Linda Lotich | Dave and Ashley Willis

Hello and welcome back to the Naked Marriage Podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis, and on this podcast, we address the truth about sex, intimacy, and lifelong love. And you guys, we have some of our old friends back on the podcast talking all about finances in the new year. But before we dive in, I want to share a review with you guys. And thank you so much for leaving reviews. That is the best way to let others know about this podcast. So today's review is from in christ we live 23, and they gave us five stars. So thank you so much.

So much.

And it says, this show has opened my eyes of the necessity to be fully naked in marriage, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Never considered it. So needed and so good. Thank you so much. And I mean, we love it. Like, anytime there's any kind of epiphany for you and your marriage and your faith, we count it as just a huge win and a huge blessing. And we praise God for that. So thank you so much for sharing that with us.

Yeah, that really means a lot. And it does help other people discover this podcast. And so we appreciate your reviews. They encourage us. But it also is a great way to let the world know, hey, check this out. It's helped our marriage. Maybe it'll help yours, too. And today's conversation is going to be so helpful. Our dear friends Bob and Linda Laudick are some of the most practical financial teachers out there. They have a podcast and a ministry called seedtime@seedtime.com they're authors, they are financial coaches. They have helped us just rethink about money in a very practical, biblical, helpful way. And right now, with financial times being so tight, with inflation rising, with all of this weirdness happening in our world, we just felt like they were the perfect couple to bring back on the podcast to help us have a strong 2023 in our marriages and in our finances. So let's dive into today's conversation. Well, like we said in the intro, we are super excited to welcome back our friends Bob and Linda Laudick. And their wisdom is so timely right now here. If you're listening in real time, it's near the first of the year. It's really just weird financial times we're living in with inflation and debt and stress and uncertainty, and a lot of folks are feeling a lot of pressure around their finances. And so we thought, what better guess to kind of help come and demystify all of the money madness than our dear friends Bob and Linda, who again, as a middle class couple, developed a plan years ago and paid off $400,000 in debt and then reached an audacious, amazing goal of giving away $100 million. Not $100 million. That would have been amazing. One million do. They're not Powerball winners, but they gave away $1 million before they turned 40. And we're trying to lobby them to give their next million to us. And so that's part of why. No, we're just kidding.

We're just kidding.

But that amazing generosity, amazing discipline, and yet they still live with such joy. And this is a couple that has just. They've cracked the code on doing money, right? And so we want to learn from them, and we want to invite them to teach all of us today. So, Bob and Linda, welcome back to the Naked Marriage podcast.

Welcome back, man.

What an introduction.

I know, man. You made us sound really good.

So thank you for that and the hundred million. I like the faith that you have there. That's all right as well.

100 million by 60. Put that on your calendar. Give away 100 million by 60.

Yeah. Yeah.

Awesome.

It's way out of our hands. So if that happens, like, this is going to be. We're going to play this back. Yeah.

I love it.

It happened here. The seed was planted here.

That's right. Absolutely.

Yeah, I believe it. I'm so excited to talk to you guys because, you know, we're doing this series right out of the gate in the new year, and we want to equip people to have not only a better marriage, but really just one of their best years ever. And I think getting your finances in order is such a great goal for every couple. But I do think that it's one of those things where it feels insurmountable. Like, I know we've. We've been there before. We've shared, you know, a little bit of our testimony with you guys before with that. And so we completely, you know, we. We get it. Like, we get that feeling. And like, yes, I want that for my family. I want to have better, you know, a better financial future. And I don't want it to be like this thing that comes between me and my spouse, but it just feels like there's just too many bills, not enough money, and we have different spending habits. So if a couple listening is feeling that way, where can they start with this? Like, where's a good place to start?

Yeah. Well, first thing I want to say is, based on the million dollar, we threw out the hundred million dollar, I think it's easy to just check out and just say, oh, these guys Just have so much money that they blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we have come from, we wish very much a middle class couple who. Our story is all about the glory of God and what he has done in a very, very unlikely candidates. And I say that just so that anyone listening who's like, I barely have, you know, $15 a week to be able to give, and so I can't even fathom giving that much or anything like that. Like, I just want you to understand that we have been in some really tight times.

Yeah.

I remember going to a gas station and, like, scraping together quarters to fill up the gas tank. I remember fasting meals because we didn't have enough money in the grocery budget. Like, we've been through some stuff and any progress that we've made has been by God's grace. And so I think that's why we have to start there. Coming back to your question, like, we have to start with that because we can do all the practical things and get all these things in a row and you might see some incremental progress. But if you want to see miracles in your financial life, you have to invite God in. You have to be willing to yield to some of those things that he might invite you to do. That might be uncomfortable and might not be what you planned or what you thought you would be doing. But it has to start with God.

Yeah. And I think it's easy when there's an issue like this. That is, it kind of brings up so many emotions, like, you don't even know where to start. I think it's easy to try and bury that and even hide it from the Lord, which as soon as you bring it out into the light and be like, this is where I'm struggling. Like, just between the two of you, this is where I'm struggling. This is where, you know, I have a hard time or whatever, it all of a sudden invites the Lord in to start doing work in your heart so that you can start making progress outwardly. Does that make sense?

Oh, yeah. So good.

Yeah.

Yeah. Really? I think. And if we'll look at it as like, the money is just really a reflection of, you know, Jesus said, where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. So, like, a lot of, in a lot of ways, how we think about money, how we spend money, how we give money, how we save money, it's a lot of. It's a reflection of not only our value system, but really of kind of like our spiritual health. Do we really believe that God owns all of it? As he does, we're just temporary stewards of it, or are we just kind of like, holding onto it and trusting in money to be our security instead of trusting God to be our security? And so a lot of this, it isn't just like, financial advice, even though there's great and practical financial tools, and you guys are amazing at that. But you're also quick to point people back to the heart issue and the spiritual issue at the root of all of this. Like, are we trusting God in this area? And what would it look like? What would we be doing differently if we really wholeheartedly trusted God in this area?

Yeah.

Yeah. And I've listened to some people talk about, like, walking through, like, some healing, like, walking through healing in their hearts and what that means. And one of the things that seems common is that people don't believe that God says who he is. Like, even if they don't, they say, yeah, that they don't believe that he is who he says he is. So, like, he tells us in the Bible that he is our provider, but do we actually believe it? Like, it's really easy to be like, oh, yeah, he's my provider. But then when it comes down to it, are you ready to, like, actually walk that out? And, I mean, I think that's. That's where that's a great place to start. And we have so many practical things. Why don't you give us a practical.

Yeah.

Of where to start?

Well, yeah, I mean, the fact for probably most people listening, we're all a little bit, like, unnerved by the inflation that's happening. And, like, our dollars aren't going as far at the grocery store or when we buy our kids shoes or whatever.

Groceries. Not groceries, gas, gas.

Like, all these different things. I mean, so pretty much all of us listening to this are feeling this, or we're just completely checked out. And so I think one of the most important things to do is at this point, you know, because when things are going fine financially, like, you can skate by and maybe not set up a budget, maybe not be paying attention to what's going with your money, but, like, you know, as the tide starts going out and just kind of things start shifting where it's like, there's not as much there. This becomes the point where it's like, all right, we finally have to do some of these things. Like, we finally have to pay attention to where our money's going. We finally should start some sort of budget. And one of the things for people who are like, I will never Budget, I hate budgeting, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. One of the things that we kind of rolled out recently and kind of it's been going really, really well with a lot of our students and readers is this concept of a one category budget, which we can kind of talk through real quickly. But it's this idea of really identifying, not setting up a budget with like, whatever, 25 different categories, but just identifying the one area where you tend to overspend, where you tend to spend more than you'd like. So, so for so many people, this is food, you know, and maybe it's eating out, maybe it's Uber Eats, maybe it's the groceries, whatever. Like, but food just is an area for so many people where they just spend more than they should. And so for a couple who's like, all right, I think we should be able to get by in $500 a month for food. And then they start looking and paying attention, they realize, wait a minute, we're spending like 7, $800 a month. It's like, okay, so we gotta put some friction there to kind of reduce that. And this isn't all about saying no. It's really about finding ways to say yes to what's most important to you.

Right.

You. So, but in this case it's like, all right, if we can reign in our grocery spending a little bit, then let that be the 1 category in our budget that we're going to focus on and then just forget about everything else, you know, because like, I don't have much of a temptation to overspend on my cell phone bill or whatever. Like, there's, there's no temptation there. You got to find those areas where there is a temptation. And food for a lot of us, walking through those aisles at the grocery store or calling up Uber Eats when we don't feel like cooking all that stuff, like, that's a big temptation. And so anyway, identifying that one category and then putting a structure in place to of reduce spending around that, because this is how you get like the 80, 20 results where you get 80% of the benefit with only 20% of the work. And this is what's exciting because you don't have to nickel and dime a million different categories being focused on this one category where you're wildly out of control and reign that in. And that's going to yield the biggest benefit for most people.

Yeah, I love that.

And it makes it so practical because I do think that when people kind of glaze over with budgeting, it usually is because of overwhelm like they're just like, there's so many categories. I'm not even sure if I know everything going in and everything coming out, like, you know, all that kind of stuff. But if you can look at the one category that gets you the most, I love that. And I think, gosh, we would have benefited from that so much back in the early days of our marriage when we were kind of just trying to get on the same page financially. So everybody listening and watching that is gold. Like that. I love that. And can you guys give the website real quick on where they can. You talked about a class and I know we're going to have this in the show notes, but I'd love it for people to take that a bit further just even in this point of the conversation.

So, yeah, so that the one category, budget, we have that if that's rolled up in our book in like one, I'm not sure which chapter, but our book, Simple Money Rich Life in terms of a class. Yeah, we have a six week class that we teach. It's called True Financial Freedom and it's just seedtime.com TFF and you can find out more about it there. Thank you for mentioning that.

Yeah. Yes. No, because I do think people hearing are like, okay, I need, I need people to really walk me through this. And that's how if you, some of you get it and you're like, yeah, I'm going to get the book and I'm going to do it myself. But I think that sometimes you need people to walk you through it. So that's why I wanted to mention that.

Yeah, so, so good. And I wholeheartedly recommend all of the seedtime resources and if you're not following them on Instagram at seedtime, go, go check that out as well. Yeah, definitely. I want to ask you guys just some like real practical questions. Get your insight on what people are thinking right now. Like they're looking ahead to this year and maybe they're not even listening in real time, but they're months down the road and the big questions people are asking right now about money and I'll just throw some out to you and get, get your feedback. So number one, is now a time for that couple that's renting that's been trying to buy their first house and they've maybe saved up a little bit for a down payment, but interest rates are still crazy high. Do you recommend that they stay renting or do they go in in this market? Buy now, maybe refinance later. What are your thoughts yeah, yeah.

So I think this depends on your time frame and your goals. Okay. So if you're thinking really, really long term with a house purchase. Yeah, I wouldn't be afraid to buy a house right now, you know, and as hopefully rates come down, you know, so they're a little bit higher now. Hopefully they don't go up too much higher, but no one knows what's going to happen here. But anyway, so at this point, like, if we were going to buy a house now, I would just plan on, all right, hopefully we're going to be in this house for 10, 15, 20 years or something like that. And that being the case, when mortgage rates start come down, we'll refinance, get something a little bit lower. But at the end of the day, you know, even if we are, it reached the peak in home values and they're on their way down a little bit, you know, hopefully if real estate continues like it has for decades upon decades upon decades, over the long term, we're still going to see appreciation, even though we might be on a little bit of a downtrend right now. So for me, I would be fine continuing to buy. On the other hand, on the flip side, I think there's always been these rule of thumbs of you throwing away money if you're renting. And, and I think there's many situations where that's just not true. And there's many circumstances for people who are living a little bit more of a nomadic lifestyle, which is so much more common these days for people who are in big cities. There's a lot of reasons why renting makes a whole lot of sense. And one other piece I'll add to this is we rented for the first, what, five years of our marriage or so, and it was so much cheaper for us to rent than to own. And, and it was for a reason I think most people don't think about. But like, we are people who like to decorate our house, like to paint, like to change things, let's redo the bathroom, let's whatever, all the stuff. And you can't do that when you're renting. But like, once you have a house, it's like you now have this blank palette, so to speak, right? To just do all this work, all these whatever, renovations, and that costs a whole lot of money. Now granted, some of it goes into the equity of the home, but at the end of the day, like, we just spend a whole lot more money owning a house than we did when we were renting. So that's a really Important factor to consider now. We don't have to do that, but it's just our natural tendency. And I think a lot of other people in the, you know, Chip and Joanna Gaines, Magnolia world, like, it's like, well, yeah, of course I want to do all stuff in my house. So just another factor. Not that not everyone's thinking about.

It's very true. You have to kind of look at the bigger picture, I think.

Yeah.

Which is huge.

So, so wise. Sweetie, what. What do you think people are asking right now? Oh, man, we got the experts here on the line. They've got the answer.

The real estate question, I think. You know, man, I don't know. You have more financial questions kind of than I usually do. And then I'm like, oh, yeah, that's a good question. All right, so for people them listed in your mind.

I don't. But I mean, I got one for.

You that is really prevalent at the time of this recording. We'll see if it still is when it comes out. But right now, everyone's talking about the student loan stuff because there are different states and judges that are blocking this whole student loan thing. And so, you know, and I've been saying this for a while, like, we don't know how this is going to play out, you know, and. And so anyway, the point in all of this is for anyone listening, don't wait for the government to solve your debt problems. Okay? Like, it is time to. If you have. You've been just kicking the can down the road. It's like, I'm not going to even think about my student loan debt because I'm just trusting the government's just going to pay it off and solve all these problems. It's like, let's put our trust in God and let's allow him to lead us in a journey to get that debt taken care of. Okay. And whatever the government wants to send you some free money to do it, then great, throw that at the debt. But at the end of the day, let's not depend on that. Get your finances in order. Get yourself in a position that you are able to pay those payments because it's just going to be really important because we don't know how this is going to play out. And yeah, there might not be any payments there, so you might as well get yourself ready to be able to pay it off yourself.

You know, speaking of student loans, I'm so glad you brought this up because it did make me think about this. We're actually, you know, we have a senior in High school. So we're, we're talking college, you know, not only with our senior, but with other families, you know, that our children have gone to school with forever. And I know there's a lot of different thoughts on student loans. Some people don't have a choice. Like, that's the only route they can go because it's the only way they're going to be able to fund their education. But I think, and I know from people, you know, gosh, we haven't been in college in so many years. But, you know, thankfully I did not have any student loan debt because I got scholarships and I had parents that were generous and, you know, I didn't have that. But I know many, many, many friends of mine went into their marriage with all this, this student loan debt. Some are still paying it off and have been very disciplined about it. And a lot of that debt, though, they'll say, you know, looking back, kind of hindsight's 20 20, they took on debt for things they didn't necessarily have to take debt on, you know, and how they were living and, you know, and choosing kind of the higher price dorm setting and different things. What are your thoughts on that? Because I do feel like, here's what I think, like, when I look at it, I'm thinking if you go to an accredited university that has your program where you're not going to have to take on as much debt, like, my goodness, go for that. Right? And, and I know that there's a lot of different things going in there, but what do you think about student loans? Because I know a lot of families, a lot of marriages maybe are on, like the husband and wife are on different pages with this. What are your thoughts?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the whole thing with college rates just continuing to go up higher and higher, like, it's been, it's been really frustrating to watch, you know, because I remember being going into college and signing the paper for the student loans and just thinking, yeah, I don't care, I'm going to get out of college and be making so much money, I'm going to pay this off in a couple years. Like, you know, I just didn't understand debt and I didn't understand the burden and how long it would last. And I think that that's just way too common, you know, and, and along kind of that thinking, I also remember being in college and just thinking, like, I don't, I just don't to think about this. Like, I don't, I don't have to try to save money on going to school a little bit cheaper. I don't. You know, one of the things my mom did, which I'm really, really glad, is I spent at least a year going to a community college, getting credits I was able to transfer. It's like that saved me probably 10 to $20,000. Like just that one decision of going to community college and then transferring the credits over. And it's like now thinking about it, like, why not do that? I absolutely would recommend that to our kids and to anyone else. It's like if you have the opportunity to take advantage of that, like it's just a great cost savings. And I think there's a lot of other things like that that we can be thinking about. And maybe that's the housing situation. What does that look like? And are there cheaper ways to do housing than the standard? You know, so these are all things factors to consider. And then one other that I would add in this equation is I went to school, got a business degree after like bounc majors, one after another after another, trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up and ended up getting a business degree at a decent school. But the truth is I now run a business, but it honestly has very little to do with that and any success that we've had in our business. I tell people all the time it came from the books that I read after college, it didn't come from my degree. Now I'm sure I learned some stuff in there, but the point is, is that I think there are. It's a better time now than it ever has been, or at least in the last, what are 50, 70 years to be able to get educated without a college degree and still advance to some things. Now obviously would be a pharmacist or a lawyer, like you needed traditional school, but. But I think that's a question worth asking as well. You know, for a college senior, everyone I know is going to college, it's okay to ask the question, like, all right, well why? And what do I really want to do? And is that the best path for it? Because I think there's certain situations where it might make sense to just try to do the thing you love doing, that's graphic design or whatever, seeing where that goes, and then maybe go to college a year or two later. Because I have talked to so many people over and over and over again, said if I would have just started college two years after having gone out in the real world, like I would have actually tried to learn. I would have actually. Yes, that for me. And so anyway, those are just a whole bunch of different random thoughts about all that. So, yeah, you can direct me any further if you want.

I would add to that. Like, I. I think I was talking to my. I was talking to a friend. I will. They will rename. They will remain nameless. There we go. And they were saying that their kids were afraid to move out and go to college because they didn't want to have to pay for their lifestyle. And I was like, okay, you know, that's fine. But, like, this, now is the time. Like, your parenting is not over just because they made it through high school. Like, now is the time to start. Like, I mean, I told them, I was like, make them read our book. You know, of course, because I think it would actually help. Not just because I want to sell another book, but, like, I think that now is the time to start saying, okay, you know, everything costs money.

Right?

Like, toothpaste costs money. So, like, how are you planning to pay for this? Like, let's. Let's start coming up with some ideas on walking through what this is going to look like, because they are eventually going to move out. And if their education, like, their education is not complete in my mind, until they've had a financial education of how to actually work through. I really, really want this, but I have to buy this. And how am I going to balance these two things, you know?

Yeah.

I mean, that's real world tension.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Where they're feeling it where, you know, they're feeling the purchase instead of just like this magically appears at mom and dad's house.

Right, Right.

Yeah.

That's so good. That is. That is really, really good advice. And as parents of older kids, like, we're trying to think through how to help them navigate that, because, I mean, I think that's something we. I could have done a better job up to this point of helping them see just the cost of things and budgeting. And I'm afraid, like, man one's getting ready to leave the house. And if we equipped him to make financial decisions and realize that this money is real and, like, it's not just automatically replenishable.

And I think we are, like, we. At some point, I don't know, we had. I don't know if you guys have heard of Green Card. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's like a debit card for your kids that you can kind of help manage. And we've had our kids on that, our older two boys, and that's been Helpful. And I know that. I mean, you can go to a bank and essentially do the same thing, but it allows the parents to see everything going in and coming out. And I will say that with our oldest, I feel like there was a little breakthrough recently because he was weighing not only his money, but time, and he was like, I really want to go do this thing on Tuesday, but there's a shift open at work at Jimmy John's that I probably. I could really use that money and I probably should do. And I'm like, well, bud, it's up to you.

Yeah, that's real life.

I mean, we're like, real life, buddy. And he ended up choosing, going and doing that shift. And. And it was for multitude of reasons. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, we were so glad. I was like, that's so responsible. I'm so proud of you. And, like, in our house, too, he doesn't have his own car yet. He's still driving Dad's car. You know, we'll probably. Well, we're going to send him to college with something, but he's worked very hard to earn the privilege to drive that. But he has to totally pay for all the gas. And it's like he's got to put that gas in the car because he's the one primarily driving it. But, you know, he sounds like an.

Old man coming home. These gas prices.

These gas prices, like, it's ridiculous.

Back when I started driving, I'm like, you started driving a year ago.

Like, yeah, but it's good for them to feel that, you know, And I'm sure there's even more we can do. And it does make you think. When they're senior, it makes you think about, like, where are those blind spots that. I haven't talked about those things. And I want to shift it back to marriage, because I know some of you listening are like, we don't have kids yet. But I do think that even if you don't have kids yet, or even if you're not going to have children, this does apply to you. And here's why. When we come into marriage, we have backgrounds from our families, usually, and from maybe our habits where we think money needs to look a certain way. And this is just how you do things, and this is how you manage it. And this is how you look at loans, this is how you look at spending. And if we don't, as a married couple, come together and take each of our own views and really combine them into be like, okay, we each have these own views, but how are we As a couple going to approach this, then that's where you run into a lot of trouble. And you guys can go back and listen to our previous episodes episode with this amazing couple where we talk more about our story. They talk about their story having to do with this. But I know for us personally, it's a constant conversation, and it has to be.

Communication is huge. That's something that the Loddocks talk about, a. Something we talk about here. Like, you've got to really talk to each other as husband and wife, and you've got to have unity. You have to have peace. You have to have a lot of grace for each other, and you have to have plan for each other. And I really do encourage you to go back and listen to our first conversation with them and go to seedtime.com and see all the resources. But before we sign off, because I know we're about out of time, Bob and Linda, I want to ask each of you before we close to give listeners one nugget of financial advice for the new year. They're looking ahead. And just to me, here's. Here's one. One little tool, one little gift for them sticking around to the end of this conversation that they get this little bonus from you guys. And it could be. It could be anything. So I'm. I'm all ears. I'm. I'm excited to. To hear your advice.

You, Me go first. Sure. All right. So, yeah, I'm trying to. I'm sorting through the archives. You go ahead.

Okay. So I would say sit down, have a conversation of the things that you want to do this year. We want to go on this vacation. We want to do, you know, whatever. Take the kids to Disney World or, you know, whatever it is and start planning those things out. I want to go get my nails done every week. I want to go, you know, golfing in the summertime or whatever the thing is. And then work backwards, right? Like, that's what you do. Work backwards. Okay. If we want to make that happen, how can we do it? How can we make these things happen? And just start planning out your finances based on that. Start putting it aside so that when the time comes, the money is sitting there and then there's no tension. Like, you both are. Like, it's already sitting there. Go spend it like, this is your fun money. Let's go.

Right?

Yeah, I love that. All right. I'm going to go really, really practical. Super.

This is.

This is not sponsored, but I'm just gonna tell you about this app that, like, I'm using that I love. So just the other day I posted a Instagram story showing this. There's this app that I've been using called Rakuten R A K U T E N that like. So it's basically a cashback app, and you use it and you get percentage cash back of everything you buy. It's super simple. It's just fantastic. And we've been using it for literally 13 years now and getting checks from them. So. But just the other day, like, they have a Chrome extension when you sign on to Chrome, blah, blah, blah, it shows up when you go into Amazon. So I went to Amazon to buy this thing. It was going to cost me $100 or $200 is going to cost me. And the Rakuten little thing pops up and say, you can buy this over here. And I did, and it saved me $100. So, like, instantly just using that silly little app. And so I know this is like, super practical, but there's some nerds out there who might like an app like this, and I've just been loving about it.

You don't have to be a nerd, though. That's what's so exciting, is that you can just download this Chrome extension and it will just save you money. It'll just say, go buy it at this website instead. And you're say. And so then you're like, super pumped because you're like, do you want to know how much money I just saved?

Yeah.

That is so good.

I'm going to download it.

Say, should pay you guys. Or even better, you guys should launch an app. Launch your own app called lodokin and people get cash back. And I would be all over it. I would be signing up.

But that's a great, great tip. Very practical.

Yeah, great, great tips. You guys are always so practical and so fun and hey, friends who have been listening to this. Share this one Guys, a lot of folks need these practical tools that we've talked about, and this could help. I mean, this episode could really, really help. Just apply some of what you've learned here. Check out some of those resources that Bob and Linda have pointed out and the resources they've created. Their book, their podcast, all that they're doing over at seedtime is such a gift. And we're honored that they're part of the XO family and we love getting to talk with them every chance we get. But guys, we pray that 2023. It's hard to even say that 2023 is here and it's the best year yet for your family. And so we just pray, God, we continue to bless your work and your marriage and your finances and every part of your life. And thank you so much for just sharing your wisdom with us today.

We really appreciate you. Yeah. Thank you, guys. Appreciate it.

Bye.

Bye.