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Sex After Betrayal — How Do You Navigate That? 💔 | Dave & Ashley Willis

Name: Sex After Betrayal — How Do You Navigate That? 💔 | Dave & Ashley Willis
Uploaded: 2026-04-23T12:00:00+00:00
Duration: 1 min 37 s
Channel: Dave Willis
Description: In this candid conversation, Ashley and Dave Willis discuss the delicate process of rebuilding sexual intimacy after a sexual betrayal. Ashley explains…

23 Apr 2026 · 2 min

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1:37

In this candid conversation, Ashley and Dave Willis discuss the delicate process of rebuilding sexual intimacy after a sexual betrayal. Ashley explains that they chose a period of abstinence while she was coping with the betrayal and beginning a journey of sobriety from porn, emphasizing that the abstinence was not meant to be a prolonged punishment but a time for prayer, fasting, and emotional healing. She notes that the exact length of the abstinent period is unclear but was relatively brief. Dave reflects on Ashley’s intentional approach, praising her for ensuring that abstinence did not become a wedge or a reward, but rather a step toward deeper mind‑body‑soul connection. He describes his own response as one of gratitude for her courage and grace, and commits to moving forward with tenderness toward her wounded heart. The dialogue highlights key principles: using abstinence purposefully, avoiding punitive or reward‑based dynamics, prioritizing relational connection, and approaching post‑betrayal intimacy with compassion and intentionality.

Chapters

Another question I often get is, well, how long did you not have sex? You know, 'cause you know, when there's a sexual betrayal of any kind, of course you're not just gonna jump right back into the bedroom and you don't feel inclined to when your spouse breaks your heart like that. And so there was a time where we weren't, you know, engaging in sex just as you were trying to start that journey to sobriety from porn, but also as I was coping with a lot of those feelings. But we didn't allow that to just linger on you know, like just to keep on going for a long time. You know, it says, you know, there's a time where you can abstain from sex to devote yourselves to prayer and fasting, but don't let that linger on too long because it can really cause you to have disconnection and misunderstanding and a whole host of issues. And so we, you know, after that time, which I can't even remember how long— people ask me and I'm like, I don't remember. It wasn't super long though.
And she very mercifully and gracefully recognized, like, yeah, I don't want this to become a punishment, right? I don't want this to become a wedge between us, like, or a reward, or, yeah, or reward. I want, I want us to be connected, mind, body, and soul, right? Is every way as a couple, and sex is an important part of that. And even though that we're working through these issues, um, she, you know, she made sure that that was a priority relatively quickly, faster than I was expecting. And that meant a lot to me because I realized, okay, this for her, like this is an act of courage and grace right now while she herself is still wounded. And I want to be really tender with her heart as we move forward.