Fun Sex = Healthy Sex | Dave and Ashley Willis

Orgasm, Oral sex. Masturbation.

Doggy style.

Boobs.

Penis. I'm trying to think of something else right now.

Hey, guys, thanks for watching this. We want to talk to you very openly and honestly today about sex. And specifically, one of the most common questions we get online and even at live events is, is anything off limits for a married couple in the bedroom? And if so, what's off limits? What's fair game? We got asked at a marriage conference this past weekend, during the Q and A, someone asked, is anything other than missionary position a sin? And my response was, where in the world would you get that idea? Like, that's crazy, you know? And who had named it missionary position in the first place? Like, just because you put the word missionary in it, it makes it more holy somehow.

So that's ridiculous.

Here's the good news. God's given us an enormous amount of freedom to express ourselves and to be inventive and fun in the bedroom. But at the same time, there need to be some guardrails around your sex life just to protect you both. Because the marriage bed needs to be the safest place on earth for both of you.

Absolutely. And it talks about in the word, how the marriage bed needs to be kept pure. And I think because of that word, pure, you know, we do get these. These weird ideas about missionary style being.

Like, the one position or not enjoying.

It too much, not being pleasurable. But the truth is there is so much freedom there as long as it's just between the two of you. I think that's the main thing, is it needs to be just between the husband and the wife. We don't need to bring in other people to our bedroom, whether in person or virtually, like in things like porn. But when it comes to positions, my goodness have added, if you feel good and it's safe and you both agree.

On it and you're flexible enough. Because I'm, like, not all that flexible. You know, Some people suggest things that look like you need to be a yoga master to be able to.

And if you're yoga, a yoga master, go for it. Right?

Yeah. Whatever you're into. But the bottom line is, again, make it a safe place for you both. And this is what safe place means in really practical terms for the one spouse who wants to be more adventurous, inventive, and wants to try new things or new positions. Don't shame him or her and say, like, oh, what's wrong with you? That's dirty. Don't shame them. There's nothing dirty and wrong about wanting to explore new possibilities. However, for the one spouse that maybe is more reserved and nervous about that, don't shame them for not wanting to try new things. You have to both serve each other and again, believe the best in each other and make that marriage bed a fun place, a safe place. And to remember that God created sex. He meant it to be fun. He meant it to be pleasurable and talk through whatever issues or baggage or hangups or misconceptions you might have that are leading into kind of that rigid mindset that we can't have more fun than we're having.

It's so true. And more than anything, we need to feel loved. We need to feel loved and respected. And if we're pressuring each other or if we're judging each other and we're not feeling loved and respected, then we're really going out of bounds. Because sex is meant to connect a husband and wife in a way that is just beautiful and it's full of love and respect. If you don't believe me, read the book of Song of Solomon because it's super steamy.

Pretty steamy. It's pretty steamy. So check that out. You know, God's Word is pretty hot.

It really is.

There's a lot in there. So, guys, listen. Thanks for watching this. If you want to continue this conversation about how to have these conversations in your marriage in a really healthy way, check out the Naked Marriage podcast and our book, the Naked Marriage for some tools to help keep this conversation going and have fun in the bedroom. We'll see you next time.