How to Walk Through Trials in Marriage ft. Trisha Fraley | The Naked Marriage Podcast

Hey, welcome to the Naked Marriage podcast. We're Dave and Ashley Willis. On this podcast, we address the truth about sex, intimacy, and lifelong love. We've got an incredible guest for you today. Ashley's gonna tell you all about who she is. I'm just gonna tell you. Stick around to the very end, because what gets shared at the end of this episode about how to walk through fires, and all of us walk through different kinds of fires in life. It is so helpful. She's also gonna share a great story about getting fired from Marri, which I've never even heard of being fired from a counselor, like, here's your money back. You're on your own kind of thing. But it's a great story and you're gonna love hearing from her. I want to share one quick review. Thank you guys for leaving reviews on iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, even wherever you leave your comments. It's helpful. So this one is on iTunes for March 31st. It says, I love how this couple listens and responds to not over each other. Their content is varied, and I enjoy their guests. However, here's some constructive criticism. Hey, we're always open for it. I think the content is simply too short. I like the hump day Q and A in the normal podcast, but it leaves me wishing they had spent more time in their discussions. And while they speak biblically, I would ask them to use the scripture in their episodes more often. It's great to talk about biblical ways of living, but I want to know exactly what the scriptures lead them to in this way of life. All in all, I 100% recommend this podcast. Hey, thanks so much for the encouragement and also for the constructive feedback. And just to let you know, we're working to address some of those very things that you talked about on the scripture side this summer. Gonna give you a little preview. This summer, we're doing a summer of scripture series. 66 days in a row.

In a row.

We're gonna release a devotional episode, one from each of the 66 books of the Bible, all for your marriage. We've never done anything like this. I'm super excited about it. We've actually already recorded this, and I really believe it's maybe, maybe some of the most important content we've ever recorded because it is all 100% rooted in scripture. And then the longer form stuff, we're doing a new coaching program.

We are finally. You guys have asked for this forever.

Yeah. And it's us, Jimmy and Irene Rollins, Sean and Lynette Reed, other exo couples. We're gonna partner together and offer this through live coaching calls where you can interact. Mastering Marriage.

Mastering Marriage. And those are hour long calls, guys. And I think it's twice a month. And you actually get to ask us questions. We see your face, you see our face. It's in real time. So if you want more of that long form and that connection, go to XO Prem. And when you join EXO Premium, you get access not only to the coaching network, but you also get access to all of the EXO now products too, which we've talked about on here, which are different, like just all this content that can help you and your spouse and even small groups. It's great small group content. So, yeah.

So good. Well, tell us about Tricia.

Yes.

So Tricia Fraley is our guest today. She's actually a new friend of mine. I met her at a women's conference and we just hit it off and I loved her testimony. She's going to talk specifically about kind of getting through hard seasons of marriage, specifically if you're a military couple. Trisha and her husband Kenneth are a military couple. Right now. They're active military. But also if you're a first responder or just in a tough season, if you've dealt with a lot of grief within your marriage, losing family members, just going through tough seasons, Tricia has so much wisdom to share with you. And like Day said, you want to stay till the very end because what she shares at the very end is just so powerful. So let's dive in. Hey there, you guys. As you know, in the intro, we have an amazing person that we are interviewing today. Welcome, Tricia, to the podcast. We're so excited to have you.

I'm so excited to be here.

Well, I got to meet Tricia at a ladies event that was awesome. The Worth Women event in Augusta, Georgia. Actually, it was in North Augusta, but it's like Augusta, North Augusta. And we just really hit it off and then we had a breakfast together and she shared her story with me and it was so compelling. I was like, I've got to have you on the podcast. Because I feel like Tricia, you can speak to just so many different things about really enduring and really even thriving through hardship in marriage. And so kind of to start us out, we always, whenever we have anybody on, we love, we love them to tell us kind of a little bit of their story. If you want to tell us kind of how you and your husband met and a little bit more about you guys.

The best part, yeah, we were, we were best man and maid of honor in a wedding. Okay. I mean, does it get any better? And I had my whole idea. I was in college because I was the oldest of three, and I was the first to go to college and the first to kind of pave the way travel, do everything. Grew up in kind of a broken home. And I was like, there's something more for me. So I was going to college. I was doing it for myself. And then I met him at this wedding, and he didn't want to talk to me, so I was like, look, that's fine. And eventually one day I was like, you have to, like, I'm not gonna bite. You can actually, like, talk to me. And then he was like, well, do you want to sit next to me at the wedding? And that was it. Then the next weekend, he was coming to visit me in college by. That was in October, by about November, I was like, listen, like, this is obviously serious, but, like, I gotta finish school. Like, come on, now. And then by February, I was like, if you propose on Valentine's Day, it's too cliche. I mean, we were really. It was fast track. And I was like, I've got to finish college. I'm traveling the world. I had all these plans. You know what happens when we make plans. And the day of my last final, he proposed and enter military life, which was not on the agenda. I mean, I was going to be a CEO. I was going to live in Italy at some point. I don't know. I had all these big plans. And then I became a military wife. We had six moves, and we've been through over 16 deployments together in our. We celebrated 13 years of marriage on Monday. So we are like. It has been this glorious adventure that I never planned. Imagine that. So it's real special.

Well, thank you for your family service. I mean, it's. It's heroic. And you're. You're. You're in the trenches right there. There with him. I mean, it's a family sacrifice. Thank you for all you do. No.

Yeah, I used to say, no, don't thank me, don't thank me. And then a few years in, I was like, oh, you're welcome. Then I knew. I was like, okay. You know?

Yeah, no, it is such a. I mean, it is. It comes with such sacrifice. It's awesome, but it. But it is such a sacrifice. And I would love for you to speak to that. You know, I know you all been through a lot with all of these moves and. And you guys have two kids, correct?

Two, yes, two Little boys. They are, Yep. They seven and nine.

Yes. So you're like in the thick of it, doing life. And I know that, that there's, you know, a lot of time, there's so much hardship just from being apart. Just some of the unique struggles that, that those who are, you know, deployed bring home and what they've seen and what they've had to do and just like ptsd. And I know, you know, we live, we've shared here on the podcast before, but Tricia, actually we're all in the general same community, the CSRA over in, near the Augusta Georg and. And so we're a military community. We have a base here. And so a lot of our friends are military. And so I, I never knew until we lived in this area. We really didn't understand, did we? I mean, we had like past family members serve, but like, we didn't have like an up close. Yeah, seeing it up close.

But when you got doing life with people, having, you know, your small group made up of military families and really becoming your friends and seeing up close what a deployment looks like and just the sacrifice that is on a family, on a marriage, it instantly changes your perspective. And of course, we haven't lived it at all the way you've lived it. I mean, just. But just some proximity has given us.

So much compassion, definitely even more, you know, you think you have a bit of an understanding, but really we're only touching the tip of the iceberg. But I would love for you to speak. We have a lot of listeners who are in the military actively right now who maybe are former military, but are dealing with some of the aftermath of that or maybe are first responders and have some of those things, similar unique struggles. I would love for you to speak on kind of how you all navigated, you know, all these deployments and all the stuff that comes with that.

Oh, that's loaded. Each deployment has been navigated differently. It's funny because you and I kind of spoke about this before. The first deployments are always this big, dramatic, oh, my gosh, they're leaving, and it's so terrible. And it is. And then after a while, the people around you are like, you should. You should be used to that by now. And this feeling I hear all the time, oh, when they come home, you're so happy to have them home. And I'm like, I spent months creating a routine in a life and taking care of everybody. Now I have to spend months reintegrating you back into my life. And so it was this constant journey. We also had six moves in the timeframe. So then we're moving. And for some reason, he loved to move right before he deployed. So I can't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but it was like, I struggled instantly. We move and it was like, make community, make community, make community. Because without a community, you. I don't know how people do it. I don't. I don't think it's physically possible to get through deployments or life unless you've got a village that helps you. Because when he travel, I mean, right now he's doing some training, and I was like, I have to help and do this. Can you pick up my kids from school? I mean, it just takes a community. And so it's really through those times, both in our marriage, like, when we were okay, like, we. A lot of times couldn't name what was going on. I couldn't say. He couldn't say. I'm really stressed. They don't teach. From my experience, all different branches are different. My husband's inventory, he's like, hoorah. He's done all the. All the things. And he could not name what he was actually feeling. So it comes off in a different way. This alpha male, like, I'm gonna be like, I'm gonna buy 17 cows. And I'm like, what is this that we're experiencing? But. But then I am like, okay, what is it? And so a lot of times we would. We would be standing next to each other, like, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. I'm feeling the tension. You're feeling the tension, but we just have to move forward. And it was this vision of, we know we want each other, we know we love each other. We just don't know how. And when we didn't know how, it was just like, okay, just stand. And too often, people did not understand, and. And we didn't. We opted to not live on post a lot. We wanted to keep a normal life as much as possible. So we would live in communities right outside of post, which all of our friends are military. They were still the same, but it was different because people didn't get it. So then we were like, well, this is terrible, because they don't understand. So we would have to go back to the military community because they just get it. So it just. Honestly, it was a roller coaster of trying to put words to what we were feeling. They were very big feelings. And it was hard with somebody who's not Trained. The military, last I checked, doesn't do emotional intelligence training. They. They do all other kinds of training. So then trying to communicate to one another and not in a way that, like, you're a private and you should do what I say. It was a constant rearranging. Every deployment we started from scratch, every deployment we did. Then we had babies, and. Well, that's a whole nother animal. So, like I said, each deployment and then. And, Ashley, I shared with you a little bit some of the parts that were challenging. I lost very close family members. To me, like, my. When my brother died, Kenneth was on a deployment, and I was like, oh, my God, my person was gone. How do you navigate one grief, but then also not have your person in the midst of life's, like, hardest situation? And so it just became a constant. What did I do differently? How can I apply it? And then when something else hit the fan, it was like, okay, this isn't working. And it's just a constant being willing to go again. And that was honestly the only way we've gotten through every deployment. It's like we're doing it again. Not sure how, but we're gonna do it again. And so we just kept at it.

It's amazing.

It really is. It's heroic. You know, what you guys have done and are doing is you start looking ahead to life post military. What. What are some of your dreams and plans and goals? Like, what do you want life to look like when you got that freedom back?

Yeah, I. Well, we have been. So it's been interesting because as he transitioned out, we bought a little farm outside of Augusta. So we have gotten the beauty because he did so much in his unique kind of career set. We are just phasing out by building a life right now. So he's doing. Starting a business, which is so much fun. I am speaking more, traveling more, doing a lot. And honestly, if we're being honest, I have, because I've taken the back burner for a little while, and I've been like, okay, let's just support you. What do you need? What do you need? I am kind of like, all systems go. Like, hey, mom's ready to run and stuff. Like, you want to build this farm? And he really, I think, wants to create this transition. He has, honestly, some hopes of helping youth that don't have moms and dads like, that are kind of broken. They want to go out and do wilderness training, like, these man courses. He loves to teach you how to, like, build a one rope bridge over the pond. And I'm like, you go, babe. So he just wants the opportunity to do that. And so for me, I am starting to really move forward and encouraging people to walk through fire and building this business on my end. But he is now, like, what could he do at home? And so my goal is to create a little freedom to let him navigate that, because too often soldiers go straight from their career into, like, figuring out life. And you've been in the military for 20 years. All of the men and people and women around you have been spending this time frame building their careers, and now you're starting from scratch. There's a lot to navigate there. And if it's up to me, which it never is, I'd like to offer that freedom, like, go work on the farm, babe, and just take. Pick up the kids from school. But he is building this business, and I think it's just. Just we don't know what it's like to plan a vacation, like, during school. Like, we're like. We plan it around when Kenneth is home, not like. So it's just gonna be an interesting. It's gonna be interesting. We just don't know. The world is our oyster, I guess you could say. So that's kind of the plan now. Call me in a year. It'll probably change.

That's exciting. And that's so wise. And I don't know, I mean, because we. We are at the point, too, where we have people in our life who were near that. Near that kind of the end of. Of their service in the military. And a lot of them, you know, they go into jobs that still involve the military, but they're civilian workers because they have that special clearance and things like that. But the one. So that's. That's played out for some of them, but then there's others where it's kind of like your husband, where they want to do. They want to completely pivot. And I don't know if a lot of people realize they can start as early as you guys have started in preparing for that. And I think there's such wisdom in that. And also what I hear you saying, Tricia, is you and your husband, Kenneth. I mean, there's such a team mentality with how you're moving forward, even though I know you have the things you're doing with your message about fires, which we're going to talk more about in just a minute. And also, you're speaking and reaching other people about that. And, you know, with the farm, with Kenneth and what he would like to do, you're a team in this, and you guys are supporting each other in this. And what we've seen in the work we've done with a lot of military couples is they don't necessarily always feel like a team. And a lot of that is because they've had to be. You know, they've been kind of forced apart physically because of the deployments, but also, I think sometimes a lot of these military people, whether it's the husband or the wife, because I want to say there's some people watching, listening, where the wife is the one deploying in the husband's back home. I know there's a lot of dynamics, but the one who deploys and then there's one back home. I found that the one who deploys, like, sometimes they feel like their spouse can't understand their unique struggles or the things they've seen. Maybe they can't even actually tell them because they are bound to secrecy over something. And so you see this disconnect. But what I hear you saying is you all have been able to really connect through that. How do you. How did you guys foster that? Because I know that for some people, that's. That's the wall between them. They clearly love each other. They're clearly devoted, you know, they're sacrificially in life of service, you know, to our country. But they. They do feel like there's this, like, ceiling. How would you. What are some things that you and Kenneth did to help?

Well, we fought a lot. It was hard. And I will not. I will. And I tell everybody. I'll be as transparent as possible. It is hard because pair coming from broken families. Okay. Our parents were both divorced, so then you have. Don't have a model, really. Then you put yourself into a situation where now you're deploying, and there's dynamics that we can't talk about. Then here I am. Like, I don't sit still. Well, so I'm like, I just want to build and do and go and then trying to get together. And the one thing, like, we tell everybody from the beginning, we liked each other. We like hanging out. Like, we do random things all the time. Like, we enjoy each other's company. And it always came back to that. Because if you don't like each other and we. I love everybody gets. Loves to get caught up in their romance. And I'll tell every young military couple, like, sweetheart, I just want you to be prepared for your toilet to explode and your air conditioner to go out and your car to break down in the Same week. And if you're not mentally equipped to handle that, it's not the game for you, because it just happens. Because those were things. And I would find that these external circumstances were frustrating me. And he's dealing in war. I'm mad that the air conditioner is broken. So it's really hard because he'd be like, these are first world problems. I'm like, you're right. But this is where I live. So we just constantly. This is exactly it. And it took us, like I said, being very raw. Sometimes we. And honestly, I'd say most of the time we got it wrong because we were like, wait, I'm sorry. That wasn't the way I should have communicated that. But here's how I'm feeling. And we had to. I'm going to say this again. Go again. Like, okay, I don't like you. I don't understand you. I don't know what's happening. But the big vision, we love each other. Let's just keep it going. And then we just do the next step. Then it was like, hey, do you want your morning coffee? Yes. Some days he's like, I don't want your coffee. Okay, great. And then that day it was like, hey, do you want to go on a walk today? Yes, we do. And so it just took. There were times when, honestly, it was the hardest thing where it took the Lord. It was a lot of prayer because it was like. It felt like this big thing between us that we could not communicate. And then it was like, okay, well, let's do this again. And so it's just this process of saying the end goal. I love you, you love me. All of the rest we're going to figure out. And so it took us fighting about it and learning that that wasn't the way to fight. And feelings got hurt, and then we could cry about it. And then it was like, you're just a jerk, and I don't know how I can do this. And then it was like, I'm just kidding. Like, this is real and it's raw and being safe to say that to one another. And we just kept going. And we went through. We tried marriage counseling, different types, and they didn't get it either. And I'll be honest, it was hard because we went through a lot of mentors that didn't understand, and that is challenging. You have to hold through to your own vision. As you, a husband and wife, say, this is. This is where we're going. And a lot of people might not understand it. And so the marriage, the military threw its own obstacles in there and we just had to approach it like every other obstacle. Like, okay, what are we going to do about it? And then if we didn't agree on it, we just didn't move forward. It was like a stalemate. Then we talk until we agreed, and then we move forward. And however long that took, however many pauses we had to take, that's what we did. And it's just been this constant road. At the end of the day, he wants me, believes in me, believes in my dreams. Dreams and vice versa. And if it's going to make the other one happy, then we're going to do it. I'm going to get up at 3am and make your breakfast. If you have to go on a ruck march or he's going to say, trisha, we'll find the money to invest in your dream. Like, we just, we decided ahead of time that was our, that was our vision and we're going to stick to it. So that's not a good answer, but I'm going to tell you, it is a process. I'll tell you that.

So real. Go ahead.

Yeah, it's perseverance. I mean, it's just like sticking to it. It's like we're going to figure out a way.

Right?

And we're each other's plan A. There's no plan B. And we're going to make this work.

We're going to go again.

We're going to go again.

I want to share real quick, Trisha, when we were having our breakfast, one story and I talked to you about this, I was like, can I mention this? And you said, yeah. But she talked about how they went to marriage counseling. So through these struggles, I was, I so admire how you guys, you didn't just try to do it in your own strength. You would reach out to mentors, you would reach out to counselors. And I remember she shared, remember I told you this story that they went to this. Like, you had a coach. Would you call it a marriage coach? Okay.

Yep. Marriage coach.

With. Regularly. And it got to a point where, I mean, and in between your meetings with this person, we will not name names, you know, did the homework, you guys were doing the work. But it came a point where they came back to you and basically said like, I, you're fired.

You're fired from this program. Okay. Can you tell more about. Yeah, yeah. We. So my husband's like, no, we earlier in our marriage tried marriage counseling, and he swore to the death that I Was like, not very trans transparent. So we laugh and I'm like, says the woman who would tell you my life story in 10 minutes. But whatever. Agree to disagree. Love you, whatever. Well, then fast forward. We went through some really tough times. He was transitioning out. He had been through several really hard deployments. Lots of team dynamics. And I noticed a big shift. It was really something. This is not the man I recognized before. I didn't know how to help him. It was prayer. I studied all my personal development everywhere else, but you can't, you just can't do that. So he got to a point where he had felt like this, I, I, we can do this. He was like, willing to do it. He was kind of at his, whatever, breaking point, whatever you want to call it, willing to say yes. So I was like, oh my gosh, yes, we're gonna do it. I love personal development stuff. This is gonna be great. So we did it. Well, what we found is their model was like homework and then getting together and connecting. And like, I saw things differently. And he was like, we're not connecting at all. And I'm like, well, we rode on that golf cart. We did. I mean, I could count all the times we actually connected. And so we would have this back and forth and so that our coach ended up saying she something had happened, she wasn't gonna be a coach again. So the head coach lady came and was like, I'm so sorry for the way this went down and was just listening to us talk. Well, we had just had a very large financial conversation and we all know how good financial marital conversations go in that situation. So we were kind of feeling the tension in this call. And anyway, so fast forward at the end of it, the conversation ends and she's like, just, I want you guys to think about what you really want to do and if you're going to do this work. And we're thinking we're doing marriage counseling at 6am on a Monday morning. I feel like that's commitment. Like, I don't even care if that's all we did. She was like, let's, let's just, let's just see if you guys, y' all just talk about it and make sure we're on the same page. Great. So then about an hour later, we get an email. I was like, ah, thank you guys for listening. I thank you guys for listening to what was going on. I pray you find the truth and the truth will set you free. I've refunded your money for the month and canceled your Subscription to all the other courses.

You got fired?

No, I. I've never.

I called.

I called. We got fired.

I feel like we should sign autographs.

I know I've never even heard of this. And my heart sank. I was like, oh, my gosh. But what's so good and why we're sharing this story is you said it kind of actually brought the two of you closer together because we're gonna prove them wrong.

What she did not realize is, like, we're a little stubborn. And him and I, like, it's like fire. I mean, it really is. There's. I mean, you fight hard. You love hard, you do everything to your best. You, like, go big or go home. And so when she pitted us, like, against a common enemy, it was like, oh, watch. We're gonna invite you to our 75th wedding anniversary. Like, it was like, no, I don't even care how much. I don't even care if I don't like you. Now we're just gonna prove a point. And so it was it. We laughed and laughed. And I'm like, should we go? Should we call? Tell people. Should we tell people this? We should sign autographs? Like, hey, you. If we got fired, you can, too.

Maybe this was her plan all along.

That's what. That's what I told Kenneth. I said, may knew what she was. Maybe she thought, dude, their model does not work. It doesn't fit into a model. So here we go. And I. I remember telling a business coach, what if the model doesn't exist and we have to create a new model? And I was talking about my business and what. I'm playing what God has for my life. But then I laugh, because here we were in this situation where our marriage and everything we'd endured wasn't fitting into the model. And I was like, maybe there's a new one. And it. Okay, fine. And so forever ago, a mentor said, leaders go first. And I thought, okay, Kenneth May, if it didn't make sense yet, we haven't discovered the right one. So let's just keep going. So lucky for her, we are stubborn, and we will just keep on going. And so that week, he planned me a surprise birthday party. Like, I mean, come on. He's. You know, he's romantic in his own. I mean, he proposed in a helicopter, for crying out loud. I was like, he's.

Wow.

He's. He's got a Mr. Hard Military Man. But I love it.

You guys are so great.

Before.

Before we go, I want you to tell us real quick about the work you're doing with. You call him. Like, things that people go through, the hardship in life, and in particular, you offer something to people going through grief that is so needed. I mean, I was telling you. I was like, I can think of, like, five people that I want to send this to. Can you. Can you talk to us about that?

Yes. Yes. I. Like I mentioned before, I was the oldest of three. My parents were divorced at a young age. Kind of helped raise them. My dad was an alcoholic. Really struggled with that a lot. And so then I was like, like, I gotta figure something else out. So I put myself through college, married this military man, and we went through, like I said, all the deployments, six moves. But in the midst of those deployments, I ended up discovering a lot of things. One hardship is inevitable. Like, pay yourself through college. Figure that one out. Three jobs, five classes. But then I lost my younger brother to a drug overdose. He was 25 years old in January of 2019. And that hit me because it was like. Like something we prayed for forever and ever. I'd prayed for my dad forever, had gone through this. And when I lost my brother, it was like our greatest fears came true. Pair that in the middle of deployments. Then we were, like, building this barn and navigating all of this. Then I lost my dad. He got cancer from the drugs that he had done. So then he. I lost my dad. I lost my great uncle then, who was like, my dad, who basically moved me into college and did everything. And we literally is with this turn of events where it was back to back to back. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Then enter Covid and everything that was happening, and it was like, okay. And everybody kept saying, how do you do it? How do you do it? And I made jokes like, jesus and coffee. Jesus and coffee. And then I just sat down one day and got really honest. I'd gone to school for marketing and sales, and I was like, the world needs to figure out how to endure these things. Because if we don't hit this head on and we're not willing to go again through the hardship and through the fire, these, I call them, fires that we faced, then we numb it and we run from it and it burns us up. But if we allow it, it can actually create this very, like, this strength inside of us that we never knew existed. And so I started figuring out, how did I do it? How did I get through the deployments? How did we get through life? How did I endure the grief, the loss, and all of it? And that's where the, you know, the out of the fire podcast was born. Starting to interview people who have just gone through the unthinkable. Then it was encouraging people through. It was started as, like, a women's ministry, and then it moved to, like, building a model. And my book will come out. It's a joke. It's called your new favorite F word. And it's how do we endure the fires? Because what I teach is a fire framework that's like, face it, internalize it, redirect and energize. If you spell out the word fire, it's how we've. I've gotten through every hardship. And through that, we built these boxes. I created a journal series on Amazon because I wrote a lot over the years. So I was like, let's create some journals for people. And then made these boxes. And we're actually May 1st launching the new made to walk through fire co boxes. Because what started as, hey, would anybody like some cool swag that says, like, fire stuff on it turned into, I want to give these to my friend fighting cancer. Oh, my gosh. My friend lost a baby. Oh, my gosh. And then there were these soldiers that had committed suicide. The women, the teams that were serving them wanted to wear the shirts. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Enter this new business model. And so really fell in love with the idea and started creating resources for people that are going through the hard times. Like, we don't need to send them flowers. Those die. My sister and I called it death casserole. When somebody dies, I'm so thankful for the food you bring. But you get to a point where you're like, I'm tired of hearing I'm so sorry for your loss and eating the 25 casserole. And you're like, there's got to be something more. There's got to be something else tangible. And so creating these resources, like I told you, it started with just a generic firebox, like, you were made to walk through fire. And then grief. People were like, what about a grief box? I'm like, yes. So put my grief journal in there. It's titled this sucks. It's a companion journal through all the seasons of grief. Because if y' all haven't noticed, I'm very real and honest and raw about my feelings, but it was. It was something. I'd gotten all of these encouragements and whatever, and when my lost my brother, I had a white card with black handwriting on the front that said, this sucks. And I remember feeling so relieved that somebody saw me that this is just. It was sucky. That was what it felt like. And so created that journal. But I have a lot of resources and tools, candles that'll go in there that you can send to somebody that's like. Like, you can get through this, too. And this actually would be part of your story. And within each box, they come with their own encouragement cards. So once you've walked through your fire, you can then handwrite and encourage somebody else that's going through the same fire that you've gone through. Because I'm a firm believer that our stories aren't just meant for us. You know, we've got to teach them, use what we've learned and then give it to somebody else so that they don't turn to drugs and alcohol and divorce and all the things that we use to numb the pain that we feel. Feel. And so all of these crazy. All the crazy. All the hard was actually on purpose. And I was like, all right, Lord, let's go for it. So here we are.

Oh, I love it so much. How can people get those boxes again? What's. What's the website?

So it just. Trishafrehley.com There's a shop method, and I'll have everything. All things listed there. And so there's a. There's a shop button and all of the new boxes will be launched. We just went through a design team is really helping me rebrand. And because again, it started as she was made to walk through fire. And I'm like, well, there's guys going through hard things, too. So we were like, how do we universally create a resource for people? I've got some cool connections of people that teach you how to grieve and all of this stuff that I'm like, oh, let's put all those in there. And so it's been a really cool thing to build and birth. The goal is eventually to have them in storefront so you can just buy them off the shelf. But for now, we're just ordering them online and shipping them out. We're praying over them every Friday. We ship them out on fire Fridays, and we'll ship them out to everybody and have. We have volunteer teams coming to pray over them before they go and writing custom messages to people that are going through the tough stuff. So, you know, just trying to do our part.

I love it so much.

Yeah. And I think this is going to take off because it's so needed. And every bit of that experience you've. All the fires you've had to walk through like, God has a way of not wasting our fires. You know, like, you use it to help, help, help you help others. And he's already doing that on a big scale. And I think that's just gonna keep getting bigger and better. So we, we pray for you and your husband and your two precious kids and cheer you guys on as you're preparing to enter in a new season. And for everybody that's listening or even watching this on YouTube right now, go to triciafrehley.com check. Check this out. Share it with somebody who's walking through a fire. It could make such a difference for them. And, Trisha, thank you.

Thanks.

Thanks for all that you do and spending some time with us.

Oh, my pleasure. Thanks for having me. This was a joy.

And, guys, we'll see you next time on the Naked Marriage Podcast.