A YouTube video (hosts Dave and Ashley Willis) about sexual intimacy in marriage. Rather than focusing on physical "positions," the hosts frame "positions" as perspectives — understanding partners' needs, past baggage, and communication. They emphasize open, non-judgmental conversation, mutual initiation, scheduling intimacy, and that sex is a gift within Christian marriage. The video includes practical tips (talk outside the bedroom, switch initiators, try different times, put intimacy on the calendar) and ends with channel/podcast/website calls-to-action.
Chapters
Look at you, you naughty thing. You just clicked on a video that said sex positions. We're like a couple middle schoolers. Every time we have a video that is, anyway, about sex. And we're glad you stopped by for part of the conversation. Before we dive in, though, do us a favor and hit subscribe on this YouTube channel so you can be the first to know every time a new video comes your way. And we talk about all different kinds of topics related to marriage, not just sex. Even though today we are talking about sex and in sex positions, we're not just talking about sex positions in terms of him on top, her on top, this, that, whatever, you know, like Kama Sutra kind of stuff. Even though, you know, get creative and.
Talk about that, you know, for sure, yeah, stretch.
And whatever else you need to do to make all that possible. But get ready, we're talking more about positions in terms of understanding each other's perspective and what. What each person likes and needs and.
Starting the conversation there, because that's, you know, sex. The best sex is sex between a husband and a wife that really have talked through things that are connected all levels, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. And that happens through conversation. And so, you know, we always say intimacy doesn't start in the bedroom, it starts outside of the bedroom. And it's really through both of us expressing what we like, what we dislike. You know, maybe things from our past, different kind of perspectives we have on sex that we really are trying to change. Because we all come into marriage with certain perspectives on sex and expectations based on really what we saw in our own childhood and kind of like how we were raised and the view that was presented to us when it comes to sexual, whether or not we were talking about it a lot in our family or at all, you know, like. Like what I came from. We've talked about this, and that's a lot of families. And so it's important to talk through these things and really be open to what your spouse wants to share with you, but also be willing to talk. You know, we hear from so many couples where they really clam up when it comes to the subject of sex. But God created sex, and it is awesome, and it is specifically for marriage, and it is something to be celebrated and enjoyed. And so we have to be willing to have these open and honest conversations.
Yeah. And it's supposed to be fun, by the way, for both people. And so if neither one of you or if one of you is not enjoying it completely, then you need to really talk about the reasons why. And Like Ashley said, a lot of times that comes from your perspective. You brought into marriage about sex baggage from the past. Perhaps maybe you were raised in a rigid environment where you were taught that sex was somehow dirty or something that you aren't really supposed to enjoy. It's just part of your duty. And that is a terrible way to. To perceive and to teach about sex. The truth is, God made it as this beautiful gift that's meant to be enjoyed. And so if you are looking at sex as just a chore or you're looking at it as something that you kind of dread because of whatever, because of your own body image issues, because of, you know, fear or apprehension or shame or baggage or regret over your own past or whatever it might be, you need to bring all that out in the open and really talk about it. You know, if one spouse is always, you know, say, wanting to get more creative in the bedroom and wanting to try new positions and try new things, and the other spouse doesn't want to ever do anything, then there can be a tension point there, too. And both spouses have to feel heard. They have to feel respected. And the bedroom needs to be the safest place on earth for both of you to enjoy yourselves. And like I said, if you're not both enjoying sex, looking forward to sex, and connecting in every way, physically, spiritually, emotionally, with that beautiful, intimate gift God created, then talk about the reasons why. And don't talk about it in the moment. Talk about it over breakfast, Talk about it on a walk. Just say, what would it look like if our sex life was everything that it could be like, you know, what would that look like? And what can we do differently to help get there?
And I think you need to talk about if one spouse is always the initiator, you need to switch that up. It shouldn't be one spouse always saying, hey, do you want to make love tonight? It should be both spouses initiating. But I think sometimes maybe that that spouse that is always wanting to initiate doesn't even give the other spouse a chance. And so you got to talk about that and say, listen, I want to initiate, but you always beat me to it, right? You know, I can't even get a chance to. Or maybe talk about if the one spouse is always kind of disgruntled when their spouse wants to make love. Maybe it's because it's the time of day. Maybe it's not their time of day when they have the most energy. And so you have to be able to talk about that and say, listen, the reason That I kind of. It seems like I'm kind of not excited about having sex when you ask me to. It's not because I don't want to, because I really do want to. It's just that I'm exhausted. Like, by the time you want to initiate, I'm exhausted. So what would it look like if we tried it another time of day? And also, you know, a lot of times there's one spouse that wants to have more frequency than the other spouse, and that's okay. That's most marriages. But, you know, the bottom line is there's no magic number. It's going to be different for every couple. The bottom line is you need to be having sex regularly. And so I would encourage you. We all lead busy lives. I would encourage you to put it on the calendar, put a little heart, and make it a regular part of your day. If you have kids, do not write sex on the calendar. That's really gonna get their attention and make them confused. But you wanna make it a regular part of your week of your schedule. And when we prioritize things, they happen.
Man, that's good. I'm gonna get on my calendar right now and just start putting hearts all over the place.
Every day.
Every day. Hey, listen, guys, we talk a lot more about issues related to sex and marriage on this YouTube channel, so hit subscribe right here. You can also find us on the Naked Marriage podcast or go to xomarriage.com for a full website of all kinds of resources and live events to help with your marriage. We'll look forward to seeing you next time.
