Talk Dirty to Me | The Naked Marriage Podcast | Dave and Ashley Willis

Hey, welcome to the Naked Marriage podcast. We are Dave and Ashley Willis. On this podcast, we undress the truth about sex, intimacy, and lifelong love. And I love the setup we have today. If you're. If you're listening to this episode, you can't see us, obviously, but if you're watching on YouTube, which you can do, you can watch these episodes on YouTube. You'll see that Ashley and I are facing each other in this episode. So I'm like.

Which I prefer.

I love that I am, too, because I'm just distracted by the beauty in front of me. I'm not gonna be able to form any thoughts. My words are gonna come slow. But we're thrilled you're here. Whether you're watching on YouTube or listening on itunes, Spotify, wherever you are, we're glad that you're here. We've got a great episode today as part of our Naked and Healthy series, based on our new book, Naked and Healthy. You can find it. Naked, naked, naked, naked. I went straight to Kentucky.

Kentucky came out.

Came out naked. Naked and healthy, y'. All. Yeah, I just went back to my roots there for a second. I liked it. So whether you're naked or naked, we're glad that you're so. My love is going to read a review. Thank you, by the way, for those who share reviews, especially the positive ones. We always love them. We love. We read them.

Keeps us going.

They're so encouraging. And so she has got a review that she's gonna read.

Yes. And it's entitled Amazing. They had lots of A's on the Amazing, which I loved, and it's five stars. It says Dave and Ashley are such amazing guidance counselors. I have enjoyed every podcast. I've heard and tried to notice what I can do to make myself a better wife. Because of their advice, I share them with my husband. We both know there is no perfect spouse, but you guys sure do seem like the perfect couple. It is comforting to hear that everyone has their own trials and tribulations. Love is a battlefield. It's time to man up and do our part. Thanks for all the godly guidance and advice. Oh, to be more like Jesus. Amen. I love that. And love is a battlefield. I immediately was just like, we are strong, right?

Heartache.

Too high. Yeah, I gotta sing it. I can't remember the lady's name, but 80s. Go 80s music. Yes.

Yeah, 80s music. Just bring us together.

It just takes me back.

Yes. We've got a steamy episode we do today. Even steamier than the 80s, perhaps way steamier. So it's about being naked and healthy with our words, but in a very specific context of the dirty talk bedroom. Yes. So if you've got kids in the minivan, you might want to pause this and listen to it later.

You definitely want to pause it and listen to it without children.

We're not going to cuss at you or anything, but we are going to have some grown up conversations.

Yes.

And I'm excited about it, so let's dive in.

Well, I'm sure you can tell from the title of this podcast that it's going to be an interesting conversation. Today. We're calling it Talk Dirty to Me. And it's because we actually have received a lot of questions about this and you're probably thinking, okay, explain Talk Dirty to me. Many of you, your minds have gone exactly to where this whole conversation is going. So for those of you who aren't sure, it's talking about the bedroom, how we talk to each other in the bedroom. And specifically we had the question posed to us several times over. Is it okay to, like, cuss at each other in the bedroom? Is it okay to call each other, you know, dirty names and to use strong language towards each other in the bedroom? And if so, you know, and the reason they're asking this is based on, you know, being a Christian, is it okay as a Christian to, to do this? And is this something that goes against God or is this something that's totally fine?

Yeah, and it's a great question. And honestly, like within Christian circles, for those who kind of even have the courage to talk about these topics at all, there's a lot of debate. Because on one side you've got those who say we have total and complete freedom in the bedroom. And as long as you're not hurting anybody or bringing anybody else into the bedroom, then what a husband and wife does in the bedroom and is really just their business. Like, as long as there's nobody, it's nobody's business to come referee what is being done or said in the sacred space of a couple's marriage bed, and that they should be able to be innovative and fun and free and not held back by anything at all. And then on the other extreme, or the other side, you've got those who say, well, as Christians, we have a responsibility wherever we are, to be mindful of our words. And you could point to verses like Ephesians 4, 29 that says, don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to all who hear them. And so, you know, even with a verse like that, you know, you could still say, well, that's. That's saying don't be abusive. It's not abusive if both of you are kind of in on the fun of talking a certain way and, you know, being a little naughty in your language.

It's very, very Powers. What's the name?

Austin Powers.

Austin Powers esque. You 90s people. You know what I'm talking about. I'm like, ugh, Right?

So, yeah, we could go off the rails quickly with this one, and I could do the whole rest of the episode as Austin Powers, which you really could.

Please not do that.

I won't do that. For all of our sake, I won't do that. But we just want to have an honest conversation about it because, you know, what are Christians to do? Like, what do you. Is it okay if both couples are in on, like.

You mean both spouses, right?

If there's two couples, my goodness, we have a whole separate episode. Don't do that at all. No, we're not gonna. Don't be swingers. No, it's a whole separate issue. But if it's just one man, one woman within the covenant of marriage. I do personally believe God gives us an enormous amount of freedom in the bedroom. And it's the freedom aspect I think, that most Christians struggle with in terms of extremes is realizing how much freedom we do have to express ourselves, enjoy each other, and to have fun, and that we don't have to just be just rigid and still and not say any. We have to think God's looking at us the whole time with this disapproving, like, oh, what are they? They're saying and doing something dirty. Like, sex is a gift, and he wants it to be fun and free, and we should enjoy that freedom. But at the same time, if that freedom is causing us to delve into territory that maybe was inspired or motivated not by anything healthy, but inspired or motivated by the porn culture that is kind of poisoned a lot of sexuality or anything else where, you know, we're living out certain ideas or fantasies or fetishes that require us to belittle each other in the bedroom. And it's not just a fun expression and celebration of our love and our intimacy and our mutual respect and all that, but it becomes this kind of role playing where your words are really belittling one another, and one spouse is getting off on that for whatever reason. In those situations, even if both spouses say that they're equally into it. Chances are one spouse is not that into it. Like, one spouse is kind of going along with it just for the sake of trying to have unity, but they're not liking as much being called that or feeling like they're being cheapened in any way by the Word. So I just think we have to be really mindful, and we're just going to have a conversation about it today here on the Naked Marriage podcast. We're not ever trying to come to you like we're the authority. We have the final answer on this. We're on this journey with you, and we just want to open up scripture. We want to look at research, and we want to look at what's worked and what's not worked in our own marriage. And on this journey with you, let's kind of talk about this and figure it out together. So that's the posture we're coming at this from.

Absolutely. And just right out of the gate, I want to just acknowledge that words are powerful. You know, I mean, God spoke the world into existence with his words, and as human beings, he gave us power in our words, too. And, you know, the reason words are powerful is because when we say certain words, it automatically is. It draws things to mind. And we can even, you know, it's scriptural, where those words that we say over and over again through prayer or through, you know, calling something out. It's like you can call something out and even kind of walk through those motions that you call out, because those words are so powerful, because we often take on the words that we're saying. And that's why we talk about, you know, all the time on the podcast. We talk about not complaining, you know, not getting in this habit of complaining, because those words of complaining often can make your marriage into just a marriage where you're both complaining about each other all the time. But when you can start complimenting each other and you can start being thankful for each other, that changes the entire environment of your marriage. Because, again, words are powerful, and they're completely drawn to our mind. And so when it comes to this kind of subject matter of what we say in the bedroom, they're very powerful there, too. And I will say this, even for women, you know, we talk a lot about porn in video form and how many men. I mean, there's statistics that just show even Christian men. I mean, what was that statistic of Christian men that have looked at porn? And that's only those who've admitted it, too.

Right. And, like, within the last month. So, like, it's A current common struggle across the board. And we talk so openly and honestly about porn because, number one, churches for the most part aren't doing a good enough job talking about this issue that is ravaging homes and minds. And then, number two, it's so widespread, even within the church.

Absolutely.

So while all these guys are struggling with it, pastors aren't talking about it. And we just want to be a safe place for people to process it, to learn the reasons why it's harmful, and then to create a path that's going to get you out of it so you can have a porn free life because that's what God wants for you.

Exactly. And porn does perpetuate some of this filthy language culture within the bedroom. But, you know, I want to camp out on something else that we haven't talked a whole lot about. If you are curious, you're just not coming to this podcast. We have multiple episodes that talk about why porn isn't good for your marriage and how it really can bust up your spiritual life as well. It can draw you away from the Lord and away from your spouse in a way like nothing else can. Because it's very. Sex is powerful and, you know, and porn has damaged so many relationships, but there is hope in stopping, you know, a porn habit or a porn addiction. And so please go back and listen to those episodes. But I wanna talk about something that is kind of this dirty little secret of many women, because there are women who look at porn and there's stats about that. But where a lot of women get their porn is through words.

Oh, yeah, words are.

It's through romance novels, it's through erotica. And you know, a lot of times we're like, well, we're not looking at people having sex, so it's not as dangerous. But ladies, if we're honest with ourselves, we know it's just as dangerous. And women especially those words are. They're pornographic. And it's something where. There's many women where. And I'm just being very gut level honest with you all and talking with friends and talking with the people that write us. I'm not gonna call out any names or anything because I've shared on here before. I mean, I've read these things before and I've realized, oh, gosh, this is wrong. Or I've. I mean, we've talked about how both of us have been exposed to pornography before. We know it's wrong. So I'm not coming at you as a judge, but I am saying that there are women that Go to romance novels and go to erotica because they're not feeling, you know, fulfilled in their marriage. And so they go to this and they think it's just their harmless, dirty little secret. We saw this as widespread as 50 shades of gray. It became very popular and very normalized in our society. And you would see so many. I remember when it was really popular, I was on spring break, and it was like every woman, every mom halfway watching their kids around the pool is reading 50 Shades of Gray and feeling no qualms. It's like, this is okay because it's words. It's not watching people doing this, but it's just as dangerous. And it just shows you the power of words because it forms these. These feelings in us. I mean, words can draw. Draw feelings. And especially when it comes to sex, when there's these strong words, you know, talking about bodies and talking about the acts that are happening, you know, it can really. It can make it. It can arouse people. And so it's very powerful.

It is very powerful, whether it is through the written form, because words are powerful, like we said, or through visually looking at, like, actual pornography. Yeah, but. But here's the good news, guys. Like, we're not come. We're not saying all these things as these sticklers who want you to have a boring sex life. No, like, God actually wants your sex life to be far better than anything you could read in a novel or watch and far better than anything you could watch on tv. One of my favorite quotes about pornography comes from, like, a really unlikely source, a guy who was never married, Pope John Paul ii, who said the problem with pornography isn't that it shows too much, it's that it shows too little. And he kind of went on to express how when you just reduce, you know, the gift of sex to just this animalistic act that can be acted out between two strangers on a screen or between fictional characters in a book. It's not that it's wrong because it's showing us somehow too much, but it's reducing sex to something so little that we're missing out. And when we think that's the standard of what sex is meant to be, then we're going to be chasing after a counterfeit form when God wants us to have real passion and real intimacy. So we're not saying that you need to be this stiff, rigid person in the bedroom that's afraid to express what you like or don't like. You should have the freedom to say exactly what feels good and exactly what you want and to ask each other what feels good to you and to express your love to one another with complete and total freedom. But when the marriage bed just becomes a place to act out kind of these warped fantasies that we've picked at these other places, and then your spouse at that point is just the warm body that happens to be there to help you act out that fantasy, then that's no longer enjoying and experiencing the gift and the joy of sex the way God intended. It's actually settling for a cheap, counterfeit version of it. So you've got more freedom than you could possibly realize in the bedroom. But at the same time, don't use that freedom, as Paul says in the New Testament, don't use that freedom to sin, or don't use that freedom to essentially to settle for something less than God's best, but to really together experience all that God wants for you in the bedroom without having to pollute it.

Exactly. And that's what it is. It's polluting it. And so just to. We're going to finish up on talking about porn and erotica and romance novels, but the reason we brought them up, you all, is because they are something that can maybe get you there. They can maybe get you there sexually and fulfill that. Just as far as, like Dave said, you know, you can get aroused, you can climax, it'll get you there. But what it does is it gets you focused on the wrong things. And before you know it, you know, you're masturbating, you're fulfilling your sexual needs, and you're not going to your spouse and actually having sex and enjoying, you know, the sexual union that was designed for marriage. And so, and I know I'm speaking very frankly here, if you have kids, I probably, we should probably remind you, this probably isn't a kid episode in the car, but it's, you know, we've got to be honest about these things because, you know, sex was designed for a man and a woman who are married. And it's a beautiful way to celebrate the love that God has given you. And it's a beautiful way to come together and to unite with one another like nothing else. And so we don't want to allow things like porn and erotica and romance novels to pollute that and to give us a cheap version, you know, And I do think, and even in movies, it's perpetuated. Like, this is just like, you know, let something else butter you up and then go finish with your spouse. I mean, that's just. It's making sex such a Just an empty thing and just only physical when really it's supposed to be emotional, mental, and spiritual even. And so we don't want to settle for anything less. And so getting to, you know, this whole talk dirty to me thing, I think, again, God gives us a lot of freedom. You know, just like if you have read those romance novels and they're talking dirty to each other, stop reading the romance novel. If you want to talk to your spouse about those sexual acts you'd like to do to them. Nothing wrong with that. You know, maybe not make sure your kids are anywhere near. They're gonna literally vomit in their mouth. But, I mean, you can have strong language with each other as far as. And I'm not talking about cussing here, but, like, I want to do this with you, and I desire you, and when I think of you, this is. You know, I just. I have these strong feelings for you. And I. Obviously, I'm not gonna say all these things on this podcast, but you can get strong with your language and very discreet, and that can definitely be something to spice things up.

It's true. In fact, we're probably gonna have to cut this episode short. Cause the way that you're looking at me when you say the things you're wanting to do to me, I'm just. I'm ready to have those things done. So we're gonna have to. So that's it for today, guys. Now we'll finish strong. Guys, your sex life is supposed to be fun, and it comes down to communication. You gotta be willing to talk about your insecurities. You've got to be willing to talk about what you like, what you don't like. You've got to be willing to talk about, you know, your fantasies with one another. But at the same time, just make sure that if those fantasies are being rooted and fed and fueled by something that is counterfeit, that you're not bringing that into the bedroom. So, again, we're not saying settle for less. We're saying don't settle for less.

Go for more.

Go for more. Yeah. Go for the higher self.

Get the whole package, right?

Get the whole package, guys. Yeah, get absolutely the whole package. And don't let anything hold you back from that.

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I want to talk now specifically about cussing. Because we talked about how husband wrote us and was asking about, like, what's okay, what's not okay, which I'm so glad that he wrote us because it's a legit question. And I think it's really good that everything that's going on in our bedroom, we really should think as Christians, is this honoring God? You know, because sex is meant to honor God and how it honors God is in the union of marriage, but also not letting anything kind of muddy up the marriage bed. And we've talked about, you know, these things. But when it comes to language and cussing specifically, it wasn't too far after that I actually heard from a wife that wrote me and said, you know, my husband really likes to call me dirty names. A lot of them are cussing. And some of you may say, we're from Kentucky originally. We say cussing. Some of you might say cursing. Some of you might say swearing wherever you are in the country. So that's what we're talking about here.

Or the world, you know, or the world.

Right, or the world. And I don't know what they would say all around the world, but you know what I mean? Just really strong language. And she said, you know, I don't really like it. Cause it makes me feel less than I can tell. It really turns my husband on. And so I allow him to do this, but I don't like it. And so that's where, you know, communication is key. You have to talk to each other about how it makes you feel. And so that's what I wrote this wife. I said, listen, if you're allowing it to go on, he clearly doesn't know that it even bothers you. And so you need to go to each other, not in the middle of the act, but, like, when you're not in the middle of having sex and have a conversation and say, listen, I know I haven't been saying that this bothers me when you call me these names, but it really does. Like, I feel really dirty and not, like, in a good way. Like, not in a sexual, like, ooh, I feel sexy kind of way and little naughty. It's, like, in a bad way. Like, I feel like you're acting out of fantasy from somewhere else. I feel disrespected. Right. Unsafe is a great word, sweetie.

Yeah. And the marriage bed has to be the safest place on earth for both of you to express yourselves, to enjoy yourselves, but also to feel respected and protected by each other.

Absolutely.

And so if either one of you is not feeling respected, protected, and secure, then it's time to reset. Because God wants your marriage to be naked and unashamed. And that's. That's why we call it the Naked Marriage Podcast. So work toward that. And if you want something to read instead of those romance novels that are just counterfeits, I've got a great book to suggest, and it's called Naked and Healthy.

That's right.

So check out Naked and healthy@nakedandhealthy.com because in this book, we're talking about how to have health in your sex life, in your marriage, but also individually, mentally, physically, spiritually, how to live from a place of health. God wants you to have health. Jesus says, I've come to give you a full and abundant life. He didn't come to hold back anything from you. He came to take away all the counterfeits so that you could live with fullness in every part of your life and every part of your marriage. And we just want to help you rediscover that. And that's what Naked and Healthy is all about. And so check out Naked and Healthy. And thank you for those who write us these questions. By the way, you know the. The guy who wrote us about this particular topic? Yes.

He's very honest.

Yeah, we appreciate that. You've helped inspired an entire episode. And when you write us Ave and AshleyWillis on Instagram or when you email us, when you write us on Facebook, Wherever you find us, that helps shape the content. It helps us really do some research and have some conversations to help make these episodes possible.

It does.

So, thank you. In just a minute, we're going to do today's actual question. But before we do, Saweetie, what are your final thoughts on the Talk Dirty topic?

Well, I wanted to say, you know, we focused a lot on kind of what not to say and what you should be careful with saying. But I wanna say that again, your words are powerful inside the bedroom, but even more so outside the bedroom. Because, like we've talked about, we have an entire episode called, I think it's called Intimacy Outside the Bedroom. And it was actually one of our most popular episodes because I think we forget that intimacy, real intimacy, intimacy that goes deep, that. That is so satisfying and so connecting, the kind of intimacy that God wants us to have. Most of that takes place outside the bedroom. And a lot of that has to do with the words you're saying to your spouse. Because honestly, like, if we are berating each other, if we are talking down to each other or tearing each other down with our words or being really negative or complaining, it's not gonna enhance our sex life. And that's where you do see many of us falling into bad habits of looking to porn or going to romance novels or erotica to fulfill our sexual needs. But I just wanna challenge you. If you're listening right now, start complimenting your spouse. Start thanking your spouse for the little things. Start telling them how beautiful they are, not only on the outside, but on the inside, like all the things you admire about them. Start showing respect with your words and showing love with your words, because that goes so far in creating a better sex life and a better union in your marriage. And so, you know, we don't wanna just fall short of just talking about, you know, words in the bedroom. Because honestly, so much more happens when it comes to intimacy with everything you're saying leading up to those intimate moments.

So good, guys. That is so good. So, yeah, your words, Your words have power. And your words will shape what happens inside and outside the bedroom. And so just be mindful of the words that you speak.

Absolutely. And I just want to add too say I'm sorry. You know, like, if your spouse comes to you and says, like, this really hurt me, there is so much power in saying, please forgive me. How can I do better? You know, what can I do better? Because those are, I'm sorry, I'm sorry are probably some of the most powerful words you can say to One another.

Yeah, they really are. And it's a great way to rebuild trust. It's a great way to rebuild intimacy. And so, yeah, those are words. I'm sorry and I forgive you, and.

I forgive you, yes, are words that.

Should be spoken often in a healthy marriage. All right, guys, great conversation. Great question. And now, as we move into a question. Looks like a hot one that's come in. We don't see these ahead of time.

No, we never know what we're going to be answering.

So this is a surprise for us, too. So today's question, written to us@nakedmarriagepodcast.com says, I'm a woman, and in order for me to get an orgasm, I have to make up sexual fantasies in my head, usually pretending I don't know my husband or about things I don't feel comfortable doing in real life with him. I don't feel like I can talk to my husband about this. And I feel like I don't enjoy sex in the way God intended. I would love your help and guidance. You know, this is a great question. Great, great question. And it kind of goes in line with what we've talked about. And I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. And I would think that most honest people, men and women, would say that, you know, at different points in their life, this very thing has been a struggle. And you don't. You don't necessarily feel comfortable talking about it, even though we should talk about everything in marriage, because you don't want your spouse to feel inadequate where it's like, you know, I can't enjoy sex with you unless I'm, you know, pretending that I'm someone else, you're someone else, It's a whole different scenario. And maybe sex has just kind of become monotonous, and it's just kind of become part of a routine that you've fallen into. And so to really spice things up when you're not doing anything differently necessarily, you just go to a different place in your mind. And, you know, there's a lot of layers to this. And I can, you know, I can relate to this, as I think most people can, especially those who've had maybe a past struggle with pornography. Porn fuels kind of, you know, a very specific fantasy fetish sort of mindset where it, you know, porn fuels your mind to not be satisfied by. By a healthy, monogamous sexual relationship, but it really tries to sabotage your mind to never be satisfied at all and to always be looking for more variety or for something different or something more extreme. And that's why it really robs us of the gift of enjoying true intimacy the way God intended. One of the many reasons why it robs us. So to kind of get to the question, you know, number one, it's normal. And what I mean by normal is that a lot of people struggle with this, but you're recognizing rightly, I believe that it's not the healthiest way to approach sex. And because what happens in our minds really matters, the Bible says, as a person thinks in their heart, so they are, and that we need to renew our minds. You know, one of my favorite verses is Romans 12:2, which says, don't conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And then you'll be able to test and approve God's will for you. And so how to renew our minds as it relates to sex, I think that it's putting a lot of scripture in us that the key way to renew our mind is to allow God's word to kind of reshape our thoughts. I think that we take our thoughts captive. The Bible says so whenever a thought enters our head that we know isn't of God, and we all have these thoughts, like, all the time. Like, I have thousands of thoughts a day that shoot through my head, but that I'm like, that was an unhealthy one.

Or, that was weird.

That was weird. I'm glad that wasn't on a big screen somewhere. And when those happen, instead of feeling guilt or shame about it, we need to say, God, help redirect my thoughts, help redirect my desires, and to just give. And that's part of why the Bible calls us to pray without ceasing. He wants a constant connection to us. Because the moment we go on autopilot in any part of our life, every one of us, our minds, our desires, our thoughts, can so easily pull us in the wrong directions. And that's because we're all prone to wander. Our thoughts are prone to wander, but instead of feeling shame about it, saying, jesus, I need you. I need you to be lord over this part of my life. I need you to redirect my thoughts and help me with this. And if we'll do that, little by little, those unhealthy thoughts will start losing their grip.

They will. And I would even venture to say, even in the act when those thoughts start creeping in, redirect to your husband. Like, just really make that a habit. Because like Dave said, I mean, don't feel guilt or shame over it if there's ever, like a libido killer, it's guilt and shame, so definitely don't do that. But, you know, I do think when you take it a step further, and I just. I wanna encourage you to share this with your husband. You don't have to get real specific, but just say, listen, I'm trying to get my mind right. And sometimes I find myself thinking about fantasies of doing things with you that I've never done with you. And I would just ask you, why can't you guys try those things? Talk to him about that. Like, try it. Do it. You know, I mean, if there's some sexual act or position that you've not done together and that is a fantasy for you, then vote. Say it to him.

Yeah, you're married.

And say, like, go give it a shot. Do you feel safe doing this? You know, and as long as he feels good about it, then have at it, you know? Cause maybe it's just that you're wanting to try something new sexually with your husband, and there's no shame in that. And so I just encourage you to talk to him about it. And I would venture to say he'll probably be just really excited and probably had no idea that you would even be open to those things.

Yeah. Yeah. I think. I think most. Can't speak for all husbands. I think most husbands, if your wife says, hey, we've never done this or tried this, but I've, you know, I would love to do this or try this with you. I think most husbands would be like, yes, I'm leaving work now and coming home. But.

But if not, let me just say, if he's like, wow, that's weird. Why would you think of that? Are you looking at porn like, what's this? Or did you do this in your past? If you know, you may get that reaction. But if you do, just reassure him and say, listen, no, I just. I want our sex life to be great. I want to explore each other. Like, I want to enjoy each other's bodies, mind, soul, and spirit. Like, I want to really have an amazing sex life with you. And I've just been scared to say it to you because I thought you might have these thoughts. But I just want to reassure you that I want to be with you. I desire you, and I want to try these things with you.

Good stuff. Hey, I hope this sparks some amazing conversations in your marriage about what it would look like if your sex life was everything that it could be. And maybe that's a question you guys ask each other after this Episode is like, ask your spouse if our sex life looked like everything you ever dreamed that it could be, what would we be doing differently than we're doing right now in terms of frequency, in terms of what is actually happening in the bedroom? And I know that's a vulnerable conversation because you don't want to make your spouse feel like they're somehow not meeting your needs or they're not.

So tread lightly. So tread very lightly and use your words carefully. Again, words are powerful and be just.

Very respectful, but in a way that celebrates each other and a desire to grow closer together. Just don't be afraid to say, I'd love it if we would try this or if we would do this. But then at the same time, to always, always keep in mind that your words matter and use your words to build each other up and never tear each other down. Make sure the bedroom's the safest place on earth for you both. And if you'll do those things, then I think every part of your marriage will improve, both inside and outside the bedroom.

That's right. Thank you all so much for listening. I hope this definitely gave you a lot of food for thought. And, you know, we always do encourage you to take it a step further. So if you're listening together or separately, definitely have a conversation later. And this one is meant for privacy, so definitely don't do it with the kids around. Not in front of the kids, but we do encourage you to have more conversation. And if you want one of your questions answered, make sure that you. You write us at the Naked Mar.

At.

I'm sorry, I'm getting it wrong. Nakedmarriagepodcast.com Am I saying that right? Okay, yes. And. And we read every single one of those. So thank you all so much for tuning in, and we will see you next time.

This whole series of the podcast we've been in called Naked and Healthy, which is about how to get healthy in your marriage in every part of your life, individually and as a couple, mentally, physically, spiritually. Is based on our brand new book, Naked and Healthy. And we want you to get a copy of this book. Ashley and I had so much fun writing this book. We had so much fun narrating the audiobook together. And we feel like this book is not only going to be a fun, fun resource for you, but super practical in helping you and your spouse grow healthier in every part of your life.

That's right. And it's available in a paperback copy. You can get an ebook. You can also get it in audiobook form if you are accustomed to listening like you are to this podcast. So if you want to get your copy today, and if you would like to get it in any of those ways, be sure to go to nakedandhealthy.com.