Dave and Ashley Willis discuss erectile dysfunction, its causes like low testosterone and thyroid issues, and treatment options. Dave shares his own experience with low testosterone in his late 30s and successful testosterone replacement therapy. They cover prescription medications like Viagra and Cialis, and stress finding a hormone specialist rather than relying only on your primary care doctor.
Questions this video answers
January 11, 2024
A 14-day sex challenge (daily episodes)
45
Around 39–40
Hims
Chapters
You feel like you are able to perform sexually at a level expected of your age or maybe even younger. I mean, I feel like sometimes it can make you even have a little bit.
Yeah, a lot of times she's like, my gosh, like, calm down. Lower the dose.
Maybe this tea is a little too much.
Lower the dose. Hey, friends, welcome back to the Naked Marriage podcast. You're in the midst of our 14 day sex challenge, where for 14 days in a row, we're doing a brand new episode daily to help you start out this new year strong and to build a better sex life. Life. And today the topic is Better erections. Right. You heard it correctly. So this episode might be a little hard.
Oh, wow. I just. I knew those things were going to. Those little sexual innuendos.
Innuendos.
I'm trying to watch what I'm saying because I know.
Because I'll just turn it into another innuendo.
Yeah.
But hey, listen, we're glad you're here. You know, I hope this episode doesn't flop.
Oh, honey.
Wow. Okay. So in all seriousness, an erection is an important aspect.
You sound like a professor of erection. So, like, I am Professor Dave, tell us, what is an erection?
Doctor of erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction. So a lot of guys have issues with this, all right, For a myriad of reasons. There have been so many different things that can create some form of erectile dysfunction, and then that is a deep insecurity in a lot of men. In fact, tons of men have some level of performance anxiety related to just how their body's going to perform. Especially as you age, your testosterone level decreases, which makes it more difficult to get and sustain an erection. There are hormonal issues. There are mental health issues. There are just physical issues. Then there are issues related to things like porn use, where if you're feeding your brain porn, you're kind of rewiring your body to not respond to sex in a normal, healthy way, where sexual performance is going to be more difficult outside of porn. So that's one of the many reasons why porn use is so damaging to relationships. And I can just tell you, listen from personal experience. To get real, I had a thyroid disorder that impacted all kinds of aspects of my health, including my hormone levels. Is my testosterone plummeted and just kind of stayed low. Even after I got the thyroid level back, the testosterone was still low. And I went through a period of anxiety related to sex because I was afraid that my body wasn't going to respond. I was afraid that I wasn't going to be Able to get an erection, which is a terrifying feeling for a man, and one I never thought that I would experience, especially, I mean, as still a relatively young man man. I mean, I'm only at this point. I mean, I'm 45 now, but, like, when this. I was going through this, it was like, 39, 40.
You're still in your 30s, I think.
And I just thought, what in the world? I mean, it threw me for a loop. And Ashley was so, so patient and so caring and loving. And we really. I were able to work through that together. And I finally got on testosterone replacement. That was a game changer. I feel like myself again completely. I mean, I feel I really better now at 45, than I've felt in a long time.
Well, and I think too. I mean, it not only gives you more energy, it helps stabilize your mood. I mean, testosterone, especially in men. I mean, we have it as women as well. It affects everything, but it affects so much. But it is. It is something where you feel like you are able to perform sexually at a level expected of your age or maybe even younger. I mean, I feel like sometimes it can make you even have a little bit more.
Yeah, A lot of times she's like, my gosh, calm down. Lower the dose.
Maybe this tea is a little too much.
Lower the dose. Give me a break.
It's nice to see you have that desire back and have that. Oh, yeah, the ability to do it. Because that was just terrifying to you.
Oh, it was a terrible, terrible season.
And this is happening younger and younger, physically like it.
So listen, if you're listening, watching right now is a wife who feels like, my gosh, you know, I feel. Because I think at first we were trying to figure out what it was. Ashley thought, like, I was maybe not attracted to her, or it's a logical assumption. Right? Like, oh, my gosh, are you not. You're not attracted by me? And then that would terrify me because I didn't want to put those thoughts in her head. And it created this. This just domino effect of negativity until we really got to the root of it. Like, oh, no, this is totally a physical reaction to hormones being off. And there are solutions to this. And we worked through that together. And she was so caring and tender and patient, knowing that I was feeling so insecure.
But it took time.
It took time. Yeah.
This is the thing that I think a lot of people don't understand is that it's not just a One pill fixes it. One cream fixes it. One shot fixes It. It's just not like it takes a little bit of doing your homework. It takes finding the right doctor. I know for Dave in particular, it's partially your thyroid, which affects your hormones. And so it's thyroid and hormone, like the endocrine system and the hormones going on. And so he had to see multiple doctors. And there's a lot of different schools of thought on this. We're hoping to interview a lady who is an expert in hormone therapy. You know, later on in the Naked Marriage podcast, I know that if you go to the XO podcast on YouTube, if you go to the XO Marriage YouTube channel, they actually have a great episode on this. Hopefully we can link that in the show notes because it's a great episode about hormones where they talk with this. With this woman who is an expert in it. Her name is Terri, and she's awesome. But, like, a lot of times, you know, one, your general doctor, like your. Your doctor that you go to all the time for your physicals may not be an expert in hormones. And so you need to go find someone who has more of that expertise in hormones, because there's lots of schools of thought on this. Right, sweetie? Like, sometimes your general doctor will give you some hormone replacement, but it's not really to the level that you need or maybe in the mode that you need it.
That happened to me, my primary care doctor, who's a good doctor, he's, you know, he's been treating my thyroid and he's awesome. Yeah, he's great. But he doesn't know a lot about hormone replacement. He was very reluctant to prescribe anything to me. Eventually he gave in and he prescribed something that didn't really work. And so that was so discouraging for me. And then he wasn't really willing to try anything else or do anything else. And so I went and instead of just saying, well, that's a dead end, I'm like, well, I'm going to find somebody that this is what they do. And I found a place in town that, like, their specialty was hormone replacement. Yes.
And specifically sexual malfunctioning, like, for both men and women, like, feeling like their libido's gone with not being able to sustain an erection. I mean, that's what they specialize in.
Yeah, the hormones. And they got me on a testosterone replacement that very, very quickly started to work. And I felt the energy return, I felt the sexual prowess and, you know, just sexual ability back to full force very quickly. And that was. That was amazing. Even outside the hormone replacement. I mean, there's never been a time where there are so many other treatment options. I mean there are name brand and generic and I have not taken any of these. But like there are so many like supplements. Well, there's over the counter supplements and then there are prescriptions you can get without even going to your doctor. There are, there are websites you can go to just to get prescribed online.
Like Hims.
Yeah, that's one of the sites. And they'll send you Viagra, Cialis, generics, different name brands. The whole purpose is to just help you get and sustain an erection.
There's also contraptions that can help.
Yeah, they kind of like there's different.
Brand names, but there's contra. Cause in some cases those pills don't work. But there's actual contraptions that stimulate that area in such a way that it helps.
Right. Stimulates or even almost kind of works like a tourniquet.
Works like a tourniquet.
Because an erection essentially is just blood flow to the, you know, it's blood flow to the penis that creates, creates and sustains an erection. And so blood flow isn't happening. Like that's what's making or breaking it. And so there's that physical response. So all this to say, guys, listen, we just want to be a safe place to talk about these things. If you're having this issue in your body or in your marriage, talk to your spouse about it. Look for solutions. Don't just give up. Don't just say, well, you know, I mean that's, well, don't, you're just not a man anymore. You know, we're not going to do it. Or don't just say, well, I'll never.
Enjoy sex with you.
Never enjoy sex. You live in a time where there are so many solutions to this and I'm so thankful for that. I'm thankful for those solutions. And so continue to pursue solutions even if the erection issue isn't your issue. Whatever is holding you back sexually, get to the bottom of it. We've got resources to help you. @exomarriage.com We've got on our Dave and Ashley Willis YouTube channel and in our book all about sex called the Counterfeit Climax. I think that that could be a great resource for you as well. Stay tuned, guys. We got a lot more to come in the week and a half ahead. All about sex.
