What About Christian Sex Positions?

There's a really famous philosopher who's recently said, I don't want no whips. And fans.

Oh, my gosh.

You can't. A popular song, but you can whip your Lovin On Me.

Oh, my gosh. Do y' all know who he's talking about?

Whip youp Lovin On Me. Hey, friends, welcome to the Naked Marriage podcast. It is January 9th, if you're listening in real time. And we're on day two of our 14 day consecutive episodes on sex to help you make 2024 your best year of ever. It's going to be a good day.

Some awkward moments, but I mean, hey, you got to embrace the awkward.

And today, as we continue the conversation on sex, we're going to talk about sex positions. One of our most popular YouTube videos was called Christian Sex Positions.

The link is going to be in the show notes. You have to check this out.

It was so fun.

And I will never forget. Let me just say this. So last year at the EXO Marriage Conference, which. Shout out to the XO Marriage Conference in Grapevine. Please come if there's any tickets left. There may not be any, but check it out.

Yeah. Xomarriage.com Click conferences. We would love to see you.

Love to see you there. So, like, during, I think it was this, I don't know, maybe Friday night or Saturday, I can't remember, but they were kind of in a break time and people were coming back in and the team was like, let's play some YouTube videos. And so the sex position, Christian sex positions video came on and it's basically, it's usually looking at these cards that are done by a Christian company where there's stick figures doing different sticks.

Yeah, like a blue stick figure, pink stick figure.

It's not pornographic.

And all these very flexible.

Yeah, you're like, is this even possible?

So it's not pornographic? Yeah, no, not at all. Because we're very anti porn for a lot of reasons, of course.

But we comment on them.

Yeah, we comment on them. We give our insights of like, wow, does this look comfortable? Does this look possible? Does this look fun?

Yeah.

How limber does one have to be to do this one?

Do you need to know do yoga before you do this one? You know? And so anyway, they put this on and it's kind of a funny video, you know, but it is. I mean, it is a little eye opening. And this little lady kind of near us, this older woman, she very loudly goes, oh, I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready for this. And I was just like, oh, I'm so sorry. They should have warned you.

You've been scarred.

I mean, she said it kind of funny, but I think she also was.

Like, yeah, there was a lot of.

I literally was not ready for this, you know, but anyway, it's. It's all in good fun. And also, it does give you ideas. I mean, we had people, so many people comment, like, I want to try the airplane or whatever. Like, whatever the thing. They made up these names for them. Some are kind of funny names. But bottom line, when it comes to sex positions, I think sometimes, especially as Christians, even if you were, like, raised in purity culture, which, again, wasn't all bad, but there are some things about it where it kind of made us scared to talk about sex. I think that, you know, we think, oh, can we even try other sex positions? I mean, we've had people write us and say, I mean, is it really okay to be, you know, adventurous in trying some other sex positions? And the truth of the matter is, God gives us a lot of creativity, a ton of freedom and freedom in this area, and it really can enhance your sex life.

Yeah. I don't know where people get the mindset that it can only look one way. I mean, the Bible does not say, like, thou shalt only do the missionary position. It's like, you know, I don't even know where the term missionary position.

I'm not really sure either.

Probably a couple missionaries. Let's name this after ourselves. But you got a ton of freedom, right? To be creative and to explore and celebrate each other's bodies and the pleasure that God intended for you to have as a married couple. I mean, I believe that includes a lot of play, a lot of creativity. I strongly believe. I know that some people are like. They're like, anti oral sex, but I believe that oral sex can and should be on the menu, is a very.

Intimate way if you guys enjoy it. Because, I mean, again, you had to talk about these things, right?

Talk about it. But it's an intimate way to gain pleasure by giving your spouse pleasure. And, yeah, I think that you can just have fun. And I think sometimes what holds us back is baggage over maybe how some of these acts were taught or even used or done or misused in the past, but how God redeems all things and makes all things new. And in the marriage bed, as long as there's mutual consent, you're not bringing anyone else in virtually or physically.

And there's no coercion.

There's no coercion. There's no pain. Yeah. That there should just be a ton of freedom. And if one spouse is a lot more adventurous than the other, the one who's more reluctant should not be, like, shamed into doing anything. The one who's more adventurous should not be shamed for having more adventurous desires. You have to just make sure the marriage bed is the safest place on earth for both of you. But the benefit of trying some different positions is, well, it's going to help you, you know, potentially enjoy sex even more. And it might help you get more comfortable finding what you really like.

Yes.

I mean, because you might not even be fully experiencing, you know, all the pleasure that could be experienced with sex just because it's not happening at the angle that for your particular anatomy is going to, like, be the most pleasurable. And so you gotta. You gotta try some different ways. Maybe.

I know, because I think that again, I think that once we kind of give ourselves permission, because I think for some it is almost like, is this wrong? You know what I'm saying? And the thing about it is sex is a gift for marriage. You're a married couple. You have. You have room for creativity. And I think the thing with the angle, and I know we're getting real specific here, I mean, clearly we're talking about sex, so we're just going to go there. But I think what we don't realize is, especially with, like, women, sometimes of different positions can be more pleasurable for a woman because of the way, you know, her anatomy. Because, like, there's certain things, like a tilted uterus where. Things where the pleasure zone is a little bit different than just how you would, you know, gain pleasure from maybe missionary style, which is a traditional style. Nothing wrong with that. But sometimes, you know, you need to switch it up and maybe even, like, involve a chair or just have the woman on top instead of man on top. I mean, there's all different things. And you can stimulate other areas that enhance the sexual experience. And I think that sometimes, you know, there's women that write us that say they've never experienced orgasm, and it's just because they haven't considered those things and they didn't know it was okay. And that's okay. I mean, I get it. Like, I get. I think in the beginning of our marriage, we were like, is this okay? You know, like, we didn't know. And so it's, you know, I understand where you're like, I don't want to go look at porn. I don't want to go, like, where do I go to even understand what's good and what's not and what's okay. And I think what we need to know is like. Like we're two adults who are married. You know, God has blessed this marriage union that we have room to explore each other's bodies. And as long as we make the marriage bed a safe place where we both feel loved, we both feel respected. You know, you never want to do some kind of position or scenario where you feel disrespected. You know, I think there is this thing culturally where, you know, where they have this. I think probably 50 shades of gray probably perpetuated this, where it's like the whole submissive, dominant thing and very disrespectful. You know, I think some people think when we say, you know, have creativity, have adventure, that's where they go to. And we're just saying, hey, you know, let's be safe with each other. Let's not hold each other down. Let's be creativity and exploring each other's bodies in a respectful and loving and kind way.

There's a really famous philosopher who's recently said, I don't want no whips and tails.

Oh, my gosh.

You can't a popular song, but you can whip your lovin on me.

Oh, my gosh. Do y' all know who he's talking about?

Whip your lovin on me.

So a fellow Kentuckian, evidently.

I think there's some wisdom there.

What's his name again?

Jack. Jack Harlow.

Jack Harlow. That is a catchy.

Oh, is that guy famous?

That is a catchy song.

Well, he doesn't even sing.

Or he just.

Somebody else is singing and he just.

It goes a little sideways.

He's just like, yeah, that's right. Oh, I'm your boy. It's like, how is he famous?

You can become famous by saying he.

Doesn'T want no whips and chains.

Oh my gosh.

You can't tie him down but you can whip your loving on me yeah, so.

Because he's vanilla, baby no.

So, yeah, I'm not for whips and chains either, is the point there, being a teenager.

So of course we've heard this. Like I was. You guys, I was looking up. I mainly listen to like my own. I listen to a lot of 80s music, Christian music. And then like, I have my little, like. What do you call it? Kind of folksy, alternative. They call it alternative music, I think. But really it's not like rockin. It's like more folksy, like Maggie Rogers or whatever. Anyway, but I was looking up out of boredom on a long trip. I was looking up the top itunes songs and I was, like, just clicking on them and a lot of if they say explicit, I won't click on it. And so this one was not considered explicit, so I click on it. And I knew he had done that one song first. What was it called?

First class.

Is it called first class? First class. It's after Fergie's Glamorous. Anyway, every time, if we ever get bumped up to first class because we fly all the time, we never ever, like, actually fly first class, but we'll get bumped up. Dave literally in the line says first class every time I say it.

Like when. When it comes on the screen when they're just boarding first class. When we're not.

Do people look at you like, what are you saying?

We're usually with the peasants that are, like, way behind the first class.

We never ever.

The poverty parade that marches past me.

We got gifted first class tickets for our honeymoon from your dad because he flew all the time then. But we've never, ever actually flown first class.

Well, we get hooked up to first class.

We never bought first class tickets. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, if that's what you can call it.

We're like, way off the rails here.

Yeah. But anyway, Jack Harlow. So I'm looking at the itunes and I click on this, and I was at first, like, this is real catchy, you know, And I'm like, okay, I don't like whips and chains, you know, and then it goes real sideways. Talking about choking and all that stuff. And I don't. I mean, let's go there. Let's talk about that. We're talking about positions.

We're talking about a lot over the next couple days, but I would just say you got a lot of freedom. But don't, like, try to get your spouse to do something that is dangerous.

Or uncomfortable or hurting them.

I don't understand that causing them pain. And if you're, like, deriving pleasure from actual pain, I think that really not to shame anyone, but I think that that often is rooted in some past trauma that needs to be worked through for sure. And so get the help you need. We've got a book called the Counterfeit Climax that I think could be really, really helpful, especially if you and your spouse are kind of on different pages or if maybe some counterfeit versions of sexual intimacy have crept in and potentially influenced your sexual life or sex desires. This book could really kind of help you redeem that get on the same page and have the thriving sex life God wants you to have. So check out the counterfeit climax. We're going to talk more about all this stuff. These episodes are shorter just because we're asking you to listen every single day. And so we're making them a little bit shorter for you. But stay tuned because we've got a lot more talk on sex to come. And we will see you back here tomorrow.

Bye, guys.

J.