Workplace Affair Prevention | Ned Fulmer Fired for Cheating

We've got an important topic today. Right now, just this week, a new story is trending about some workplace infidelity. There's a group of guys called the try guys who are viral on YouTube, and one of them, Ned, was known as the I love my wife guy. His wife Ariel, would show up on their videos regularly. But it came out this week that Ned had been having a workplace affair. It just caused a lot of things to unravel, and he's since been let go from the group. It's caused a lot of conversations out broader in the culture about just some of the dangers or what the parameters and boundaries should be with workplace relationships and how even somebody in a supposedly very committed marriage could fall into this trap and ultimately cause a lot of harm as a result. And so talking about this story, not to throw Ned under the bus, we don't even know the guy, but to let this cultural moment of conversation hopefully turn to something productive where we can make sure that none of us collectively fall into the same trap.

Absolutely. And I think the truth of the matter is that none of us are immune to falling into these sorts of things, like, all of us are human beings. When you're in a workplace and you're working in close quarters with people every day, if you don't have proper boundaries in place, it's easy to really kind of cross some lines. And before you know it, you're really feeling like this. This draw to them. And so we want to talk about maybe some workplace behaviors that are really bad for your marriage that can kind of lead you down this same road that Ned found himself in so that you cannot repeat this. And just so you know, we just actually saw an article this morning where they were saying that, you know, Ned and his family are trying to this out. So, you know, I'm glad they recognized it. And he and his wife are trying to work this out. But, you guys, what's better than that? And I'm glad they're doing that. But what's better than that is really being vigilant and being aware of your own behaviors, your own frailties, and putting boundaries in place so that you don't fall into this trap.

Yeah. And Ashley has a great article@exomarriage.com 5 workplace habits that can harm your relationship. This is an article that could have saved Ned a lot of heartache had he applied some of these earlier. But this isn't just Ned. We've got a lot of friends, you know, personally, even on our podcast, you know, we. We interviewed our friends Travis and Josie and Travis shared his experience of falling into an extramarital affair with a woman at work. And how just ignoring some of these basic boundaries can get you into a whole lot of trouble. And it happens all the time to so many people. Because at work, I think the camaraderie we feel, we let our guards down and we start sharing things, and next thing we know, it's gone from professional to personal. And then it goes from personal to. To crossing some lines that we never intended to cross.

Let's talk about those behaviors. So, number one, you never reference your spouse when talking to colleagues and, or fail to wear your wedding ring at work. Here's the thing. The wedding ring, for centuries has been a symbol to let not only yourself know and remind yourself that you're married. And to be this special reminder, but also it is an easy way for others to know they are married. They have made that promise to another person. And I know that there are some jobs where it's dangerous to wear a wedding ring and you can't. But you know, we live in a day and age where there's silicone rings, you can get tattoo on your ring finger. There's a lot of different solutions just to let others know in a visible way that you're married. But even more so if your workmates don't know that you're married. Like, if one day they're like, I didn't know you were married, you need to take that to heart. Okay, that should be a wake up call. Like, wow, I've never talked about my spouse with my workmates. And maybe it's an environment where you don't talk that much. I mean, I guess that'd be a different situation. But in most work environments, we talk about our life, we talk about our families, and you know, what we've seen in the work that we do is a lot of times people are more willing to talk about their kids and, and all the stuff their kids are doing, but they won't talk about their spouse. And so that's a huge red flag.

So let's, let's share one more on this list. And if you want the whole list Again, go to xomarriage.com and search for the articles. But sweetie, why don't you pick one more to share with us?

Okay? And this is a big one again is you consistently choose to stay at work well beyond working hours. Like anytime your boss is like, can somebody stay late? You're like, me, me, me. Or, or even, even more so maybe you tell your spouse you're staying late at work, but really you're out with colleagues, you know, at the bar. You know, those kind of things where you're staying away from home and choosing to stay away from home instead of going home and spending time with your spouse. And I think where people find themselves kind of making this decision is when they feel like they're not winning at home, when they feel like things are hard at home. But guys, it really is really the worst thing we can do is just to try to avoid the problem by staying at work longer or by going out with colleagues afterwards, because then we're just. We're just acting like it's going to magically disappear. And like we say a lot on our podcast and here on exo marriage YouTube channel is that avoidance doesn't solve anything. We need to go and actually talk to our spouse. And if we find that we can't talk to our spouse in a civil manner, then we need to reach out for help. Talk to one of our ExoMarriage Mediators@ExoMarage.com help reach out to a Christian counselor, reach out to a trusted friend who loves you, loves your spouse, is for your marriage and loves God and will give you sound advice. But whatever you do, don't keep on avoiding the problem, because I'm telling you, work's not going to love you back. Work's not going to save your family. You have to be an adult and put your family first. And if you don't, anything and everything else is going to take precedent and then you're going to end up like Ned with a lot of regret and a lot of damage that you're trying to kind of bring, bring back together and make something from it. And, you know, we. I just want to say right here, we really hope that Ned and his wife work this out. We really do.

So, so true. And if you have found yourself in a situation where you've already crossed those lines, or maybe your spouse has, and maybe it's not even with. With workplace relationships, but you're just in a season of struggle or crisis. You don't have to figure this out on your own. Help is available. We have an incredible team@xomarriage.com help who could meet with you by phone, Skype, or even in person to help you and your spouse work through these struggles together. And we've seen so many stories of reconciliation, which is why we do what we do. So, guys, keep fighting for your marriage. Keep investing in each other. Keep putting these healthy boundaries in place. We'll look forward to seeing you next time.