McDonalds Systems & Processes 🍔🍟🥤

Hello, welcome to Systemology. How may I help you?

McDonald's. I want to systemize my business like McDonald's. I need my business systemized like McDonald's.

I'm sure we can help. But first I need to find out a little bit more about your business.

I just want to systemize my business like McDonald's.

Sure. I just need to ask you a few important questions. Can you tell me what you'd like to systemize first?

Everything. I want to systemize everything. Can you do it?

That is going to be quite a bit of work. Can you tell me a little more? How many employees do you have?

It's just me.

Have you documented any of your processes yet?

No.

How long have you been in business?

16 years. And I want to have everything systemized by next week.

Do you have any customers?

Not really.

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

I want to systemize like McDonald's.

You do know McDonald's is a hamburger shop that has been systemizing for the last 60 years. They are a 200 billion dollar company that has thousands and thousands of stores worldwide.

Yes.

It will take lots of time, money and resources to systemize a business to that scale.

Yes.

Perhaps we could start by documenting your most important systems first and then we could work towards systemizing everything.

No, I'm not interested. I want my entire business systemized like McDonald's and I want it done by next week.

But we could get your first few systems documented and store them so your team knows exactly what to do and when to do it.

I'm not interested.

If you let us identify your core systems, set up your software and work with your team, you can finally step away from the day to day operations.

I don't care.

Once your business is running more smoothly, you can spend more of your time on high value tasks. And before you know it, you'll be making more money. And then maybe you can buy some shoes.

I don't care about any of that.

Okay, fine. Then why do you want to systemize your business like McDonald's anyway?

I want to scale my banana business. I sell bananas to monkeys. I wanted to work on autopilot and make me lots of money so I can go on a long vacation.

Are you kidding me?

No.

Have you thought this through?

No.

You want to scale your banana business that sells bananas to monkeys, but you don't really have any customers and you want it to run like McDonald's so you can go on vacation and you want it all done in a week.

Yes, that's exactly what I want.

I don't think you understand.

When can we start?

I don't think we can help you, McDonald's. Try somewhere else.

Systems.

We only work with clients with whom we know we can help.

Okay, so we can start next week.