Timeless Wisdom: Health Happiness and Character - A Guide to New Year's Resolutions

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You are listening to the best of the Dennis Prager Show. And a happy New Year to you, my friends. A happy New Year. This is Dennis Prager. And welcome to the program where we do talk about everything in life and another year and another chance to make a better self. Hi everybody, you're listening to the Dennis Prager Show, and you know when I broadcast on national holidays I say I want to make them meaningful. And of course there's no specific meaning to New Year's. It's not like July 4th, it's not like Memorial Day, it's not like Martin Luther King Day, it's not like any of the holidays that have something intrinsically meaningful to them. But there is a way to make New Year's incredibly meaningful, and I don't mean not by watching football games— that's fine— and just, as they say, vegging out— that's all fine. This is the day to just relax, get ready for the new year and more work. So enjoy yourself today. There is absolutely no reason not to. I'm all for it. I intend to as well. But there is a chance to make this day in some ways the most meaningful of the holidays, and that's by making some resolutions. I am a big fan. They are knocked— they're always joked about. Everybody starts a new diet on New Year's and they break it by January 11th or something to that effect. People just saying that it's, it's, it's not worth it, and I don't agree at all. So I want to work with you on the idea of New Year's resolutions. And welcome to the Dennis Prager Show. There's a lot in the news, obviously, but I, I I want to devote the show to that issue of resolutions. They come in very, very different varieties, the concept of the New Year's resolution, and they can affect you, your character, your happiness, your health. Those are the three areas that I think there are resolutions about. And I think it's probably worth making a resolution in all three areas. You can call in now, 1-800-PRAGER-776, 1-800-PRAGER-776, and you can help people by saying, what have you ever made a New Year's resolution that you kept? Even if you kept it for six months, have you ever made one? And it would enable people listening to have a better life. When people have models about what to do, then, then you can have an idea of what you can do. So I remember one year that I told you that I was going to start that year with a video diary, that I would take a few seconds virtually every day of whatever, whatever happened. And I came close, and I made sure it was just a few seconds, and it is priceless. You see, people take videos of their kids' birthday parties, which of course is understandable. The problem with it is it's totally abnormal, a birthday party. It's not like anything else that the other 364 days of the year. So you have no sense You have no sense when you watch it later of what was normal life like. And that is precious, just something normal, just having somebody to talk into it. Now I admit that because I travel to lecture so much, I have, I have more of a variety of subjects than most people do, so I admit that. But my point here is that it actually worked. I made this resolution. I more or less kept to it. I didn't in ensuing years— taking along a video camera, small as they are today, was just simply tougher than I had anticipated. Not anticipated, than I wanted. You don't want to carry an object like that. It's easier for a woman because of a purse, but most men don't carry along a bag with them of anything. And it— while now you have digital cameras that can take a video as well and do a pretty good job. I don't mean— I don't— it's not going to be shown on television, but a good job to even watch on your TV. Yeah, that's a great resolution to take as an example. Then I'm gonna— I'm going to talk to you about a whole host of possibilities, but let me begin with this notion that you shouldn't, you shouldn't make any resolution, it's not worth it because people break them anyway. So what? One of the crusades, if I'm allowed to use the term which has gone out of normal usage, which is unfortunate because I don't know of a good synonym— campaign? Project?

Goal.

A crusade is a holy march. I'm gonna say holy war, that's even worse. Get deeper trouble here. I have been on a crusade my whole life to have people never think in terms of all or nothing. That if I had to be guided by 10 principles, that would probably be one of the 10 that guides me. The notion of all or nothing, it so rarely matters. I certainly know I have campaigned against this strongly in religious life where people have an all-or-nothing attitude on so many matters. I'll give you an example that would affect a lot of religious people in our society: tithing. Which means giving 10% of your income to charity, which is a beautiful, obviously a beautiful idea. Now, if you don't give 10%, should you give nothing? Do you know anybody who would say to someone, well, look, you know, you consider yourself a religious person, but you don't give 10%, you only give 6%, so you might as well give nothing because you haven't fulfilled the that particular commandment. It's, or you name it, you name the area. There may be murder, you know, murder is all or nothing because either you did murder or you didn't murder. But by and large in life, it is a constant matter of degree. Not a matter of all or nothing. You name the area, and I mean it, you name the area, and I will show you how a little is better than none. And so a little, a little of your living your resolution is better than not living your resolution at all. If, let's say, you say this year I am going to watch less television, which is a very fine idea for all of us. Well, for me it would be almost— it borders the impossible. It borders the impossible. I don't know how I can actually make less— how I can watch less television. But for most people that is a real possibility. And let's say you do it for a month. Well, then you will be able at least to reflect on how that month affected you. You will have a chance. That month will have been probably a better month. And by the way, I find it hard to imagine that if you watch less television for a month, that you will go back on February 1st to the amount of TV watching you did before. It's hard for me to imagine. Now you have to give it a month. In any event, you know my belief. My belief is as well that it is better to fail at something than never to have engaged in it. Failure is not nearly the failure that never trying is. That's why I do believe, and I think that most people who have gone through this believe, that it is better to have married and divorced than never to have married. Ask people, ask people who have been— I don't mean the person who was married for a year. I mean, ask people who have had a marriage and children, would you have preferred to have been single the whole time? Not, not a better marriage. Of course everybody would prefer a better marriage, but would you have preferred never to have been married than to have been married and, and, and it ended? What, what is life not worth living because it didn't work out at the very end? It's such an odd way of viewing life. Unless it works out perfectly, then it is not worth embarking on. That's not my view. My view is you live life to the fullest. So making the case here for resolutions, even if in fact you end up breaking them. 1-800-PRAGER-776. It's time to give a try about getting into the show. It's going to be easier than on a regular day, and I'd love to get your feedback on this overriding attitude: better to make a resolution and fail than not to at all. We continue on The Dennis Prager Show.

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Hi everybody, Dennis Prager. Happy New Year to you. It can be a very meaningful day, New Year's, aside from rest and relaxation, which is worth it on its own. It can be if in fact you really do make some resolutions. They fall into 3 categories. That's my opening point, and that is health and general happiness, things that'll make you happier. And third, character. No order of importance here. All three are very important. Health, happiness, and character. HHC. Nothing like an initials series of initials to help you. 1-8-Prager-776. My opening argument is do not let the fact that you may break it stop you. Better something than nothing. And let's get some models of resolutions taken. And Kathy, Kathy La Crescenta, California, happy New Year to you.

Hi Dennis, happy New Year to you. It's such an honor to speak with you. I just thank you so much for the clarity you bring to my life. So I appreciate your program.

Wonderful.

Well, I wanted to call and say I managed to keep my resolution last year, and I was 49 years old then. I'm 50 I kind of anticipated that 50 might be a tough birthday for me, and I took a real hard look at my life and the way I was feeling physically and emotionally, spiritually as well, and I decided I would do something about my weight. I was not real heavy, but I felt like I had at least 20 pounds to get off, and I managed to take 22 pounds off.

In the course of how long?

Well, I did it very slowly.

That's what I wanted to hear, actually. I wanted to hear it almost took you a year.

Oh yeah, it did, and it's still something that I'm working at.

Now, how did you— what did you do?

Well, I did something totally different. I went to see a nutritionist, and a Princeton-educated nutritionist who was, you know, really credentialed and very smart. And I really looked at it from a standpoint of strength. I wanted to maintain my strength. I wanted to feel good. I wanted to not only look good, but I just wanted to feel powerful again, as strange as that might sound, and just take control of my life.

So what specifically did you do?

Well, if you want to talk about my diet and my nutrition, what I did was I no longer had really large meals. It was more about portion control. I always had kind of an issue with my blood sugar levels, so I had like 6 small meals a day. I had snacks. I really watched my blood sugar. I was very concerned about, you know, getting headaches and my energy level and that kind of thing. So I really looked at the nutritional content of food and what I was feeding. And so it really worked for me. And plus I combined that with exercise. I started weight training again and walking.

With a trainer?

Uh, no, actually, I, I mean, I knew all of this.

All right, how many days a week?

Well, I, you know, to be honest, I, I maybe got into the gym 2 to 3, but that's good.

You see, the more, the more moderate your, your change of life, the better it is for people to hear. People are afraid of getting in shape. It's totally understandable. They think they will deprive themselves of all fun foods They think that they will have to work out a tremendous amount, and it's— if that's very intimidating for 99% of people.

No, it doesn't have to be extreme. And in the past, I— it was really extreme. And for me, it was never about being—

all right, one final question about feeling good. Are you, are you married?

Yes, I am.

How did your husband react?

Well, my husband, I have to say, he's an incredible man that, um, never really made my weight an issue, but I think he admired me. I mean, more so than looking at my body, which I think looked better, he just admired my discipline. And I remember one night we were having dinner out at a restaurant and I passed on dessert and they said, "Oh, are you dieting?" And my husband just piped up and said, "No, she's just very reasonable." And I thought that was an excellent comment.

Well, you are a beacon for those who want to engage in losing weight. Happy New Year to you, Kathy. Thank you very much. 1-800-PRAGER-776. Folks, I really, I want to really affect you today. I really do. I have emails from all the past years of New Year's shows where resolutions has been the subject, and people say, well, they finally took it seriously, they listened to it, and they did, and it was effective. It— there is a psychological impact. Of course, January 1st is intrinsically no different from August 23rd. Of course that's true, but it is different. There is a new date. One has a chance for— I hate to use clichés— a new beginning. And to date things from today, here's, here's something that you can do. This would go into the framework of happiness. Start a diary. Incidentally, when I give these pieces of advice, it doesn't mean that I have followed them all. I'm talking to Dennis as much as I'm talking to any of you. The reason that I don't start a diary, haven't started one, is not because I don't see the intrinsic value of it, but it's because I always think, ah, it's too late, I should have started when I was 20. But I've been saying that for so long, it's really absurd. And I know it is absurd, and I know the value of it. I mean, Alan has had one for his whole adult life, and he disciplines himself to essentially writing, handwriting a page a day. That's it. How long does it take? And once you start, you won't want to stop. He has, he has in there the day we first met. I met this big guy, Dennis Prager, and God, is he a jerk. Now I'm kidding, I'm kidding. That was not what he wrote. If in fact, if he wrote that, it would be very funny, but it is not what he wrote. But it wouldn't that be something? The day you first met anyone who became important to your life. And you didn't even know that day how important that person would become. Your first impressions. Or watch the way your child or children grows up or grow up, and to have that down there as the first words said, or even if the kid is older than that, you know, the first time the kid yelled at you. I mean, there's just any Any number of possibilities. But I do begin with something that if you adopt as an attitude in life generally, not just for resolutions, will change your life. A little is better than nothing. Something is better than nothing. And I gave a dramatic one that a lot of you don't agree with me on. Better to have been married and for a while and divorced than never to have been married? I believe that with every fiber in my body. Is it not better to have, let's say, driven a car for 15 years and then had a crash than never to have driven at all? We might as well not live because every life ends in death. Well, I'm going to die anyway, why bother living? It's just an attitude I have never had, and it's enabled me to live life to the fullest that I can in any way, at any rate. 1-800-PRAGER-776. On this New Year's show, I continue. This is Dennis Prager.

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Hey everybody, you're listening to The Dennis Prager Show, and a happy New Year to you. Making the case here for, you're making resolutions even if you're going to go and break them at some point. It is just having the attitude, just adopting the attitude toward life that I'm talking to you about. It is better something than nothing in, in every area I can think of. Listen, we all die anyway, so you might as well say nothing is worth starting since everything will stop. I, I'm not— I am not at all being melodramatic. Everything ends, at least in this world. I do believe in an afterlife, but that's not the subject of the, of the hour or of the day. Talking about solely this life, if you argue that, well, you know, it's going to come to an end anyway, then you might as well not, not experience anything. So I, I believe that though anything might come to an end, it is still worth— if it's positive, it is still worth having embarked on it. And that certainly goes true for a New Year's resolution that you might end up breaking. And let's say you make 3 resolutions and you keep 2, or you keep 1, it's still incredibly ahead. Incredibly. Alright, let's go to San Antonio, Texas and Daniel. Hello Daniel, how old are you?

10 years old.

You're 10 years old. How are you Daniel? Thank you for calling.

Good.

Good. So what's your resolution?

To eat healthier, not to bother my sister.

Not to what your sister?

Not to bother my sister.

You bother your sister?

And to be kinder to my dog.

And how will you be kinder to your dog?

Like not to pick on it and throw her on the couch.

Uh-huh. How do you know your dog doesn't like being thrown on the couch?

Because she runs away from me.

Well, that's pretty, that's pretty clear indication. Yeah. Well, those are very big resolutions. Let's, let's go through them. You pick on your sister.

Sometimes.

How old is she?

12.

Hmm. Does she pick on you?

Yes.

You think she'll make the same resolution?

Probably.

You've discussed it with her?

No.

So how did— why did— what makes you think she'll make a resolution not to pick on you?

Because I won't pick on her.

Oh, you— so usually you start?

Um, most of the time.

Hmm, well, that's very good thinking. What made you come up with the idea of making these resolutions?

For that we can be kinder to each other and not fight often.

That's wonderful. I, I am very proud of you. What made you call my show?

My mom made me.

Made you or encouraged you?

Um, she encouraged me.

Well, that's a big difference because I don't want to— I don't want your mom to sound like she made you do it. And what was the third one? You'll eat healthier?

Yes.

Can you give me one example of something you, you won't or will eat?

More vegetables.

Do you eat any now?

Um, yes, you do. Yes.

So will you, will you just eat more of the ones you're eating, or you're going to eat new ones?

New ones.

Name 2 that you think you'll now start eating.

Um, yellow squash and bell peppers.

So you certainly have a precise view of what you'll be doing. Well, Daniel, I wish you good luck. It's a wonderful— those are 3 wonderful things. And let me tell you something, they all come back to benefit you. If you eat more vegetables, you'll be healthier. That you know. If you treat your sister better, she'll treat you better. And that you know too. And if you treat your dog better, your dog won't run away from you. So you'll have more fun with your dog.

Yes.

Well, that, that's really big stuff. So happy New Year, Daniel, and thank you for calling.

Happy New Year to you too.

Okay, bye-bye. Certainly sounded very happy about making those resolutions, didn't he? That's beautiful. You see, you know, you see, now Daniel is, is Exhibit A of what I am advocating here. Let's say he lapses, all right, in all three. He doesn't end up eating bell peppers and yellow squash, at least not long. And he treats his sister just a little better, or better for a while, and the dog just a little better, or better for a while, the fact is he now knows what's the right thing to do. So just making and thinking about resolutions is an advance. It makes you aware of the right things to do. Back in a moment. 1-800-PRAGER-776. You are listening to the best of the Dennis Prager Show. Hi everybody, Dennis Prager. Happy New Year to you, and I mean that. And averting news topics to talk to you about a very life-changing possibility, and that is making resolutions. And the life-changing philosophy that I want you to adopt, that even if you might break it, it is still worth endeavoring. Like the boy who just called, a 10-year-old who now knows, thanks to the concept of resolutions, now knows that you can change your behavior. One of the greatest lessons a human being could learn, and the earlier you learn it, the better. The earlier the better. You can change your behavior and in fact need to. And his was with regard to vegetable eating, treating his sister better, and treating the dog better. I'm just thinking about the dog because I don't know, I guess an animal doesn't like to be thrown onto a couch. Yeah, yeah, I mean, dogs are playful, but I think flying in the air is not fun. Cats are better at flying than dogs, and I don't advocate throwing cats either. I'm just going to get a bad name here. 1-800-PRAGER-776 in Savage, Minnesota. Susan. Hi Susan, happy New Year.

Oh Dennis, happy New Year. I'm so excited to talk to you.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Well, Dennis, you mentioned about writing a diary.

Yes.

And I started writing 14 years ago every day, and I don't— but I don't call it a diary. I just write every morning.

Yeah, journal. Journal is a word people use as often because it's more my thoughts. Well, you write every morning?

Yes.

That's so interesting.

The reason I write in the morning is because I'm more up beat in the morning, and I tried writing at night, and I wasn't quite as happy at night as I was in the morning.

That's a very good idea. You work out your own rhythm. And how long— how much do you write? Is it a set amount?

No, whatever. No, it isn't. But, um, two other points that go with it. 7 years ago, I started reading the Bible in its entirety throughout the year. So this year I started on my 8th year and I worked through the entire Bible. So I always do that first and then I write, which I think really helps my writing and it, and it centers it.

I think that is, that is beautiful.

But the—

did you take that resolution on a New Year's?

Yes, I did.

Oh, there you go. There's the power, folks. I'm, I'm restating it. God bless you, Susan, and I mean that sincerely. That I— it's a little— it's almost painful to me to realize how much people can enrich their lives and, and don't do that. Uh, the idea of reading through the Bible, for example, like that, is so, is so magnificent. It's so elevating. And remember, all these things take time, but you— we don't realize how anything done daily or near daily, as little as it is, it is Unbelievable how it mounts up. And I'm not speaking as, as a master of this. I am not. So please understand, I need to hear this from you and from me as much as you do. All right, Susan, thank you so much. We go to Largo, Florida. Largo and Lois. Hi, Lois. Dennis Prager.

Hi.

Hi.

God bless you. Happy New Year.

Thank you, you too.

Um, I guess I just wanted to mention that, um, my husband died this last year, and after he died, it was a very fearful thing for a mom because I'm a mom of two teenagers and two teenage sons nonetheless. And facing that was a very fearful thing for me, and I decided that I heard— I think it was a George Whitefield comment where he said "Until the day the Lord takes me home, I am invincible. Beyond that day, nothing can keep me here." So I just thought, why fear? And I've just adopted that. And this new year, I'm gonna— this whole year, I'm just gonna live that way. It's made life an adventure. It's given me some of the power and strength I need to get on when things have been pretty hairy after my husband's death, with my sons and everything. And it's just been really a very powerful way to live.

I want you to say again what specific philosophy has enabled you to go on after this tragedy.

Well, I think it was a quote by George Whitefield, and it said something to the effect— this is my interpretation— until the day the Lord takes me home, I am invincible. Beyond that, right, nothing can keep me here.

Well, the first part of that, first part, obviously. No, so in other words, you have And again, I hate these clichés, but you have empowered yourself.

Yeah, yeah, I needed to.

Boy, did you ever. God bless you. See, this is— you know what I always say, folks? That 99% of the heroes are not known, and 99% of those known are not heroes. It's such a good example, Susan. I, I, I mean, I mean, uh, Lois, I am so Uh, looking at the chart and I saw the name. Lois, I am so impressed with you. What a blow, 50 years old, to lose your husband. Everything is attitude. Everything, everything. That's why I devote an hour of my show each week to happiness. It's all attitude. The given facts of one's life do not determine, in the vast majority of instances, how happy you will be. You determine how happy you will be, not your circumstances. If you wish to, it's up to you, by the way. It's up to you whether you allow the outside world to dictate you, or you dictate you. That is the choice that you have. This is why I'm pushing the concept of resolutions so strongly. 1-800-PRAGER-776. And— oh, whoops. The whoops is the music. I was just about to call on one of you. And we continue from around the country getting the calls. Very important How do you like the idea? I'm curious if any of you have any challenges or don't find clear my concept that having done something is always better than not having done it, even if it ends up a failure. 1-800-PRAGER-776. On this New Year's Day, you are listening to The Dennis Prager Show.

This episode of Timeless Timeless Wisdom will continue right after this.

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Buh-buh-buh-buh!

I may have missed that note. Oh, such happy music. Thank you, Ramsey Lewis, for yet another year of great music. You are listening to The Dennis Prager Show this New Year's Day. I think it is so important, New Year's, believe it or not. It's the day, and I'm going to work on it myself. I'm gathering my own strength here. Maybe I really will do the diary thing. It's so stupid of me not to. I'm at the computer. All I have to do is jot in a few words. You know what has stopped me? What has stopped me— here's the irony. It just shows how I fall into the same traps everybody else does. I've always thought of myself as everyman, just everyman who has clarity. That's where I may differ. I'm able to step outside of myself and realize my own flaws here. I have not done it only because for years, so many years, I've said it's too late. I should have started when I was 20. But if I'd have started when I said it was too late, I would have a 20-year diary probably now, or 10-year, or even 5 years. So what? It would be great. Alright, that's it. That's it. Alan, I'm joining your ranks, but I'm not going to handwrite it. I would like to handwrite it because I love using fountain pens, but I know that it's so much easier from just sitting at the computer at any given time of day and just— you don't even— doesn't have to be thoughts, just events. Just events. See, to remind what happened. Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm thinking mine through, which is pretty stupid since you're supposed to talk if you have a talk show. You're supposed to think, but you're not supposed to stop talking while you think. Okay, good. Ah, here's a man after my own heart. Oh boy, this is gonna hurt. James in San Antonio, go ahead.

Dennis, how glorious to start off the new year talking to you.

Thank you, thank you.

Here's the deal. I've got this chronic problem, and it seems to me you've said something like this may be one of your problems too.

It is.

I, I stay up too late at night. Yeah, I've done this all my life. I have time alone to myself when the family's to bed.

It's the best putter. It's the best.

And the, the— I have— a doctor has told me, a medical doctor, yeah, in this too, said this can hurt your health in the long term.

I know, but I put it off. How much do you sleep? How much do you sleep?

Um, well, I have to get them to go to work the next day.

How much do you sleep?

Maybe 4 or 5 hours of sleep.

Oh, well, I'm not as bad. I'm into the 5.5-hour area, but I want to be 6.5. All right, stay on. That's the only way I gotta get— everybody stay on. We continue New Year's Day.

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