In this introductory episode, Dr. Zoe Shaw announces a rebrand of her podcast, shifting from audio‑only to video and narrowing its focus to helping women improve the health of their relationships. She outlines the podcast’s purpose: to guide listeners—especially women who feel stuck in recurring, unhealthy relationship patterns—toward personal responsibility, self‑care, and healthier boundaries, regardless of whether their partner changes. Dr. Shaw shares her professional pedigree (licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach, author, speaker, PhD in clinical psychology, MA in marriage and family therapy, 20 years of practice) and personal background (mother of five, including a special‑needs child; early life experiences of teen pregnancy, adoption, early marriage, and a challenging Hollywood marriage). She explains how her own journey of therapy and self‑reflection revealed that her pain stemmed from a lack of self‑value and fear, leading her to adopt a philosophy of “fixing you, not them.” The episode details how she will approach topics through three lenses—psychology, Christian faith, and a brand of feminism that emphasizes women’s equality and empowerment. She describes her faith‑based feminism, linking it to Black Lives Matter and to biblical examples of Jesus elevating women, and asserts that women are biologically inclined to serve others but should first find themselves. Dr. Shaw clarifies that the podcast will not decide for listeners whether to stay or leave a relationship, but will provide tools for self‑growth that ripple into relational change. She ends with a hopeful invitation, quoting Linda Bloom on relationship health and Melissa May Mone on divine love, encouraging listeners to tune in, share, and embark on the journey toward stronger, broken‑place healing.
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Hey, I'm your host, Dr. Zoe, and I am rebranding my podcast. So before, I always just had audio here on YouTube, and now I'm going to be doing video and just really niching down in the topic that I'm talking about. So for you new listeners, and as a refresh for the older listeners, I'm going to just give you an update on what the shift is going to be, what you can expect out of this podcast, and then I'll tell you a little bit about who I am and where we're going. So I've been talking for the last couple of years to all women, empowering them in all parts of their lives, and I've loved it. But as I'm finishing up my memoir, which some of you have heard about over the years, I've been getting to know my audience better, and I've been growing and honing in on my message. If you are a woman who finds yourself wondering if you're broken because your relationship is so hard, or wondering if this is as good as it gets, or maybe you've been through the cycle of ending a bad relationship only to find If you find yourself in a new relationship, but it's the same one, just a different human, or you find yourself struggling with similar issues with other relationships, this is the podcast for you. You may feel too broken or damaged to make your relationship work, or maybe you recognize cycles in your own relationship of distance and then the honeymoon phase and then the period of fighting again, and you're simply tired of doing this year after year. To be honest, Ending unhealthy relationships is sometimes the right answer, but chucking difficult relationships altogether is not always the answer. Sometimes it's you that needs to be saved. Not in a gaslighting, you're the problem and you just need to do better and be better kind of way, but in a, yes, you're the problem because maybe you need to do less and love yourself better kind of way. We humans were made to be in relationship with each other and we'll continue to repeat patterns that aren't working until we do the intentional and necessary work. So this show is going to help you learn to accept responsibility for your own happiness, and I will hold you accountable for creating the quality of life that you want and deserve, regardless of whether your partner changes or not. So let me tell you a little bit about myself and what my beliefs and faith and psychology and my brand of feminism looks like, and how we'll manage these dichotomies in this podcast and how I do it in real life. Quick, I'm a licensed psychotherapist. I'm a relationship coach. I'm an author and speaker. I have a doctorate in clinical psychology and a master's degree in marriage and family therapy. I've been practicing for about 20 years, so there's my pedigree for what it's worth. I do value my education, but here's my other education. I'm a mom of 5. I'm a girl mom times 3. I'm a boy mom times 2, and one of my daughters has special needs, so I'm a special needs mom as well. I had a life-changing event at 16 years old when I became I became pregnant and I went through a journey of placing my child for adoption, which I kept a secret for way too many years. I got married at 19 years old and I found myself plopped down in Hollywood struggling in a difficult marriage, trying to figure out what was wrong with me and why I couldn't make this thing work. After later having a child with special needs and believing that I was being punished for what I had done in my adolescence, I experienced some really true low points in both my own self-identity and my marriage. So that's kind of a huge gloss over of a couple of decades, but I'm writing a whole book and I can't share my entire life in one episode. That's the high-level version. And now here's the high-level version of how I got myself to where I am today. So eventually, through much therapy and self-reflection, I was able to finally see that my biggest pain points in my marriage and my life were a result of me not valuing and honoring myself. Me not trusting myself, not believing that my too much was just the right amount, and not teaching others to treat me well. I alone allowed my fear of the unknown, my fear of rejection, my fear of all the what-ifs to hide myself, censoring and playing down my needs, then becoming resentful and angry and self-blaming. And all these issues weren't about other people, but it was about me and how my issues allowed me to accept less than what I deserved. When I changed me, it all changed. My relationships and my life. Now, it's not perfect, don't get me wrong. No relationships are, no life is perfect. I'm still learning to be strong in the broken places, and I'm learning to navigate difficult. And that's what I love to help women do and see for themselves. And so we're going to look at these issues through the lens of psychology, faith, and a little Feminism. So psychology. I've been studying psychology since high school, and I'm specifically intrigued by choices people make and the lives they create for themselves, both in their relationships and outside of the relationships. So I see everything through a lens of psychology, and I'll share my knowledge with you specifically as it pertains to your relationship with yourself and your relationship with your partner or other people in your lives. As a psychotherapist, I understand the psychology of how women find themselves in difficult relationships, but as a real human female doing my own life, I understand it on an emotional and tangible level as well. And every day in my practice, I help women untangle themselves and their view of themselves from their dysfunctional relationships and figuring out how to show up healthier and allowing their relationship to find a new Normal. And you can do this too, in both little and big ways, my friend. So my faith. I'm a woman of Christian faith. I'm not used to melding my work and my faith together, and it does feel a little weird, but the therapy landscape has changed tremendously since I began work 20 years ago when therapists were just a blank slate. Those therapists don't exist anymore. Life and therapy mix together for me, especially on the internet, and especially as I sometimes do sessions in my home. I still meet my clients where they are, so their sessions are for them, not me. But if I do have clients that want to integrate or share their faith with me, or their faith in their therapy work, I'm all for it. Psychology. I believe in psychology and that there is an order to the way that God made our psyche. I study it, I teach it, and I work from an understanding of that order. I also believe in a God who is the greatest healer, and I don't feel that we care for ourselves well if we're not focusing on our relationships with God in the process. So I will speak about my faith freely, and especially in the context of your relationship. Faith and feminism. So how do those go together, right? How in the world do I weave those two together? They seem dichotomous, right? But I don't think they are. And maybe if you feel more comfortable, you can call this women's empowerment or feminine strength if you have an issue with the word feminism. Because I did for a while. I chose the word feminism though because it highlights to me that there is still work to be done in the area of women's equality, especially in the psychology of women's equality in a global way. And that actually affects your relationships and the way you show up in relationships. The Black Lives Matter movement helped me understand my connection to feminism when I had before kind of shied away from that term as a Black woman. As a Black woman, I had no problem understanding Black Lives Matter because the history of this country, which has blatantly and subtly said the opposite. So we know, of course, that Black Lives Matter doesn't mean that no other lives matter. But the reality is that all women matter globally. My brand of feminism says that your needs, your ideas, your thoughts, your level of compensation, your desires, your passions, your beliefs, your talents, All matter equally. Not that men's don't. I want to honor men always, but yours do. And I believe that God created all humans equal. But I see in my practice day after day women feeling like they should bend over backwards, give more, take less, show up smaller, lose themselves in service to their families. And I don't believe that's what we're called to do as women. Why? Because Jesus didn't model that. He balked at the common beliefs about women. He broke cultural norms by hanging out with women when men weren't supposed to, and he forced them to look at themselves instead of following a custom such as killing a female adulterer and letting the man go free. God saw and sees the equality in all of us, and so I hold on to that as I help women see their value in their relationships. And set healthy boundaries without losing their beautiful lives or roles as nurturers and caretakers. You are primarily and biologically bent towards putting others before you, and I believe that's a beautiful thing and a part of the circle of life that God created. But society has long taught us that we should lose ourselves in service of others. I believe we should find ourselves and Serve others. So back to relationships. You're probably listening because you're struggling in a difficult one, or you're an older listener, or you're an established listener, and I hope that this still serves you. I know that many difficult relationships do not necessitate a breakup, and I also know that many difficult relationships require one. So I'm not here to help you make that decision, although there will be some episodes on that topic. If you find yourself on the fence about making a decision on your relationship, listening to these episodes over time may facilitate some decision-making for you. I hope it does, but my goal is to help you fix you first because that creates a ripple effect that changes everything. I love this quote by Linda Bloom. Relationship health means recognizing that our partner isn't necessarily as demonic as they seem to be. even when they are at their worst, and that we aren't as innocent as we believe ourselves to be, even when we are at our best. And accepting them and ourselves as is anyway. That's my recipe for relationship health. So what is changing? I will talk more about my faith as it relates to the episode topics. I'll throw in a little bit of my faith-based feminism as well. All episodes will be specifically geared towards helping you on your journey to healthier relationships. With yourself, with your spouse, and with all the other people in your life as well. I am so excited to walk this journey with you. Tune in and follow and share this podcast with others if you think it will help. I'm gonna leave you with these words: we aren't fixing them, we're fixing you, and that changes everything. And in the words of Melissa May Mone, hold on to the hope that in the midst of this ordinary fractured life, You are deeply cared for, intricately known, and immensely loved by God. Thank you for listening to Strong in the Broken Places. I'll see you guys next week.
