Crushing 2021 Goals Without a Resolution!

Hey there, welcome. I'm your host, Dr. Zoe. Today I'm going to talk about how you can accomplish more this year without a resolution by focusing on just one word. It really works, so listen in. Hi there, I'm Dr. Zoe. I'm glad you're here. This is the place for developing your strength as a woman and helping you navigate difficult relationships in your life, including that sometimes difficult relationship with yourself. Being a strong woman is not about what other people can see, and it's not about how loud you are about it. It's a quiet knowing. This isn't therapy, but you may feel like you've been to therapy after one of my episodes. Here, we also explore the intersection of psychology and faith, all with the purpose of creating a new kind of strong. Welcome to Redefining Your Superwoman. This is the very last episode of 2021, and like everyone else, I am not sad to see this year go. And despite not knowing what 2021 holds for us, I'm choosing to be excited about it. In some ways, I see a new year like having a new baby. Although we know that hardships are going to come in any child's life, we still do our very best to give our children an excellent start, knowing that creating a firm foundation is going to help them weather all those storms. Now, we all know, of course, that December 31st is not significantly different than January 1st. It's the marking of a complete revolution around the sun, a completion of 4 seasons. It isn't nothing, but it certainly doesn't have to be on January 1st, right? I did a minute of research, and I discovered that it was Julius Caesar who created this calendar system that we use today, and he chose January 1st as a starting point, a symbol of a new year, the beacon of light shining on new beginnings. So I like to think of January as meaning nothing and yet meaning everything at the same time. What we know for sure is that it's an opportunity to stop and do a check. An unexamined life is not worth living is what Socrates said. I think he may have been a little extra with that statement. Yes, I just called Socrates extra. But an unexamined life is certainly not as fulfilled as it could be. So at the end of a year, we examine our life and vow to make it different in this next trip around the sun. Many of us attempt to complete this process of examining and changing through the age-old tradition of New Year's resolutions, which usually start with, I will no longer do this, or I will now always do that. How's that working for you? It's funny because back when gyms were open and the world hadn't yet tipped upside down with the pandemic, I used to avoid going to the gym for the first few weeks in January. It was way too crowded with eager people ready to stick to their resolutions and change their life. But by the end of January, most people had quit the gym, and the gym got back to normal. This was kind of entertaining, but yet sad for me, and it sparked curiosity in me all at the same time. Why? I wondered. Why couldn't these dear people stick to their resolution? And what happened to them the rest of the year? Did they go back home? Did they give up? Did they decide to wait another 11 months to make the resolution again to get in shape? Did they try to figure out another way to take care of their bodies? What happened? And so that began my journey to figure out what could work better for all these people who stop coming to the gym by February, and for all the others who give up their resolutions as well. Listen in, and I'll tell you what I started for myself. Resolutions are two-edged swords. The truth is that you should examine your life regularly, and you should make changes. The problem is that resolutions are way too absolute, with little wiggle room and almost a complete setup for failure. What we do know from research is that resolutions don't work so well, but goal writing does. And what I have found to work even better is goal writing with a word attached, and I will explain. A couple of years ago, I chose to give up resolutions and instead use one word to sum up my purpose for the new year. I've been doing it for a few years and it works so well. My word for 2020 was finish. I wrote it everywhere and I spoke it to myself regularly. Just that word, finish. It had a lot of meaning for me. Why? Because I had started a lot of projects that went unfinished in the years prior, and this wasn't really like me. I am not someone who starts things and then never finishes them, but somehow over the past couple of years, I developed that habit. I had great intentions, but I didn't push myself to bring them to fruition, and I knew I needed to focus on Finishing. In focusing on the one word, I was able to accomplish everything that I intended to in 2020 with no resolutions. This one word worked because I had a whole year to live this out, and it touched on all my goals, but it wasn't a resolution. And because it wasn't a resolution, it was actually fail-proof until 2021. I couldn't fail in January because I had the whole year to complete it. So as long as I was moving forward, I was winning. And some days I would pause and I wouldn't work on anything actively, but I wasn't discouraged because I didn't have a resolution. This word finish, my word finished, helped establish boundaries for myself as well. I was able to say no to some project that seemed really glittery, but I knew I had to finish what I started first. And it helped me to stay focused as opposed to just committing to writing every day for an hour. See, this is where people get tripped up. If you commit to a resolution, like writing every day for an hour, but then you don't do that thing one day, you might feel like you failed, and then you become discouraged. But with a focus on one word, if you miss a day, you can look at your week and say, but yes, I've moved forward. I'm accomplishing my word because I have more words now than I did last week. And so here I am at the end of 2020, and it's taken me the whole year But I finished and launched a course. I finished the second draft of my memoir, and I was contracted for and wrote another book this year that I didn't even intend to do, and that one is coming out in February. Yay! That's my self-care book. I'll be telling you guys more about that. I've also had a couple of speaking gigs, and more importantly, I was able to say no to things that would hinder my finish goal because I was keeping it front and center all year long. It was a really powerful year for me in that respect, a crazy one for all of us, right, in many other respects, but it was a powerful year for me in staying focused and accomplishing my goals. So now I'm going to share my word for 2021 with you. This is my accountability. It's publish, not just in the get this one book published kind of sense, which is a goal of mine, but in a global sense of publishing my work. Speaking my mind, honoring my ideas and thoughts, because sometimes I don't. Sometimes I hide behind insecurities, fears, and I don't speak or publish what I should. Sometimes I take the easy way out and I say what's most palatable to be received instead of what I really feel called to say. We're getting a little personal here, but I wanted to share with you my word and my motivation for my word, and I'm excited to see what comes of it this year. And I want to encourage you to find your word. Start with looking at your life and asking yourself, what needs to change, and what are my goals for this year? Write them down and start looking for a common theme. So remember, research does demonstrate that people who write down their goals have a much higher rate of accomplishing them than people who don't put pen to paper. So let's go ahead and write them. But research doesn't demonstrate that resolutions are helpful or that they work for creating real change in your life. So let's chuck the resolutions. Maybe you want to lose weight and finally focus on getting in shape, so your word could be something as simple as health. Maybe you realize you've overcommitted this year and you need some space in your life for you. Your word could be minimize. Maybe you're going to read my book, and your compound word can be self-care. Your brain is an amazing machine, and it works in the background 24/7. Yes, even when you're asleep, your brain is working and focusing on the things that are most important to you. By priming your brain with your one word, it will work out ways to manifest itself in your life. It's not that you have to sit back and do nothing. You still have to do the things, but it will come more naturally and in its own order and with more ease when you don't have a ton of directives. Just some clear goals and one word. Your brain will do the rest. It seems so simple, right? One word coupled with goals. But if you ask yourself regularly throughout the year, am I moving towards minimalism, or Or am I moving towards better health? You'll have momentum that gets you through the entire year. Sometimes we think that we have to get all these intricate planners and goal-setting programs. I invite you to trust your brain and actually do less to create greater results this year. I would love to hear what words you come up with for 2021. I would also like to ask a favor of you. Could you record your one word on your phone and email or DM it to me? You can send it to zoe@drzoeshaw.com or go to Instagram @drzoeshaw, D-R-Z-O-E-S-H-A-W, and DM me. I'd like to put those together and share the recording in an upcoming episode. We won't share your name. It's completely anonymous, just the recording. I think it will be really inspirational. So please just say, my word for 2021 is... Whatever it is. So for me, it would be, my word for 2021 is publish. I'm so looking forward to hearing your words. Before I end this episode, I'd like to share some things that I did for the first time in 2020. This has been a whirlwind of a year for all of us, the most tumultuous that I can remember in my entire lifetime. Here are my firsts. I drank a Frappuccino through a straw inserted into the bottom of my face mask. I conducted therapy sessions all day and never completely got dressed. I attended a Zoom wedding, Zoom baby shower, Zoom book signing, virtual graduation, and a Zoom baptism. I drove under the annual mileage that I quoted to my insurance company. I completed all of my Christmas shopping online. I wrote a book about self-care. I used Walmart Instacart pickup service. That is a pretty cool invention. It's been a crazy year of firsts, a year none of us are sad to say goodbye to. I am wishing you and yours the very best in 2021. And please don't forget to send me a recording of your word for 2021. Happy New Year and God bless. Thank you for listening to the Dr. Zoe Show, Redefining Your Superwoman. New shows go up every Tuesday. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and text the word strong to 38477. To get my weekly encouragement. I look forward to connecting with you amazing women on social media throughout the week. Have a super week!