In this solo episode of the Redefining Your Superwoman podcast, Dr. Zoe Shaw reflects on a personal crisis in which she temporarily lost her ability to speak, describing how the experience deepened her empathy and helped a friend in need. She argues that no season of life is wasted, especially the "holding" or pandemic‑induced season, because each period contains hidden growth, resilience, and wisdom. Drawing on examples from Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, Gary Vaynerchuk, and Oprah Winfrey, she illustrates how hardship is a common thread among high achievers and how over‑protective parenting can diminish future resilience. Dr. Shaw then offers four concrete practices for listeners: (1) living hour‑by‑hour, a technique she cites from Tiny Buddha’s Wendy Leeds; (2) cultivating moment‑to‑moment gratitude through simple sensory questions; (3) grounding oneself by looking up at the sky, breathing, and releasing fear; and (4) allowing healthy dissociation through dreaming to re‑wire the brain during trauma. She emphasizes that these practices help transform “dark” seasons into sources of strength, urging listeners—mothers, fathers, seniors, entrepreneurs, and anyone feeling stuck—to trust the invisible muscles they are building. The episode closes with a call to connect via social media, a text‑in service for weekly encouragement, and a reminder to subscribe for future episodes.
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Hi there, I'm Dr. Zoe. I'm glad you're here. This is the place for developing your strength as a woman and helping you navigate difficult relationships in your life, including that sometimes difficult relationship with yourself. Being a strong woman is not about what other people can see, and it's not about how loud you are about it. It's a quiet knowing. This isn't therapy, but you may feel like you've been to therapy after one of my episodes. Here, we also explore the intersection of psychology and faith, all with a purpose of creating a new kind of strong. Welcome to Redefining Your Superwoman. Hey there, I hope you guys are well out there. Today's topic is no season is wasted, every season matters. So first, my Superwoman win and my Superwoman fail. My fail, I have to confess, is that I lost my words for a minute. I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry, I wasn't anxious. I simply lost my words. 121 episodes of Words, which is crazy. I never imagined what this podcast would be when I first started it, but all of a sudden I felt I had nothing to say. It's a really odd feeling. I didn't even have the time to grieve it because I was so busy. But then in the shower, my words returned. By the way, I write these podcasts in the shower and on my walks, in my head, sometimes on my runs, before my fingers ever hit the keyboard or before I ever speak it into a mic. My win is that my words returned with a vengeance. Maybe that was my manifestation of the angst that's going on in this world. Yes, we are still in the middle of this self-isolation pandemic, but either way, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for both, always, my win and my fails, because I'm more appreciative having lost what I took for granted before. But my other win is that having recently been in a weird place, Of losing my words and having bounced back, I was in a better place to help a friend who fell into a hole. I shared my experience and I gave her the motivation to push forward. And I love that we can use our dark experiences as light to others when they're in a dark place. So today I'm going to talk about what popped into my head while I was in the shower. No season is ever wasted. This weird season, this waiting season in which we are all cocooned, is not a waste. I know this because every time I felt that I was in a holding pattern, for every time I know my life was derailed from its purpose, through my regret, I can look back and I can see what lessons I learned, what growth occurred, what wisdom I gained. And I'm not saying this to tell you to be more productive. I'm telling you actually to be more still. I'm urging you to trust something that's growing in you right now. I'm speaking today to the mother who is at her wit's end, to the father who has lost his job, to the high school senior whose plans have been derailed, to the single woman whose dating life is on pause, who feels that maybe this pandemic is taking precious time from her and that she may never find that life partner, to the empty nester who's holed up by herself and feeling lonely. To the grandmother who's missing her grandchildren, to the entrepreneur who is feeling lost, something is growing in you right now. You may not see the fruits of it for years to come, but when you do, you'll look and you'll say, aha, I'm using it now. That time wasn't wasted. The only way to create strength is through hard times. We know this, it sucks, but it's true. The only way to create resilience is to walk through something difficult, and the only way to create wisdom is to experience the lesson. Now I've taken time to study people who've managed to create more in their life than the average person. I'm just so intrigued and amazed by people who tend to just be more productive, by people who just tend to rise above. Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers discusses this topic a little bit, and Gary Vaynerchuk, if any of you guys listen to him, he studies and talks about these concepts too. And what I've come to find is that there is no one, not one deep influencer that has come from easy. They all have a struggle story. Some they share publicly and some they don't. And it's also the reason why most really successful trailblazers don't create children who are the same. You know why? Because instead they have created a lifestyle that allows their children to avoid the hardships that they experienced. And as a result, their children are not as resilient, not as driven, not as wise. And it's not a bad thing. It's the dream of all parents, right? To give our kids the best in the world. And not everyone needs to struggle. But know, if you're struggling, if you feel like you're in a holding pattern, you're growing. You possess invisible muscles and you get to choose how they develop. See, the best things that we have to offer the world come from a place of pain in our lives, a place that we have overcome. Now, I'm sure Oprah, when she was going through her difficult childhood and her early adulthood, she didn't think of her hardship as the foundation of all that she was to become. She was probably just waiting and hoping that it would be over so that she could get on with her life, not realizing that it was all the lessons learned, all the difficulties that allowed her to connect with her audience, that gave her the persona that so many women were drawn to. are drawn to. So if you feel that you're in a holding pattern, I want you to consider these things. Give yourself the gift of living one hour at a time. And I got this from Tiny Buddha, written by Wendy Leeds. And she talks about that when she went through her chemo for breast cancer, that she was afraid that she literally couldn't get through that whole 6 months long of chemotherapy and all the treatments she had to go through. And so she kind of created or came across the idea of living her life hour by hour, and she said that that changed everything. So she said basically the way it works is if it's 1 o'clock, all you have to do is focus on doing the best you can until 2 o'clock. That's it. Don't worry about what's for dinner. Don't worry about what's for dinner tomorrow night, and certainly don't worry about the appointment that you have next Tuesday. You just have to make it through this 1 hour knowing— That the next hours and the hours after that will take care of themselves. I know it sounds simple, but give it a try. And of course, we all know that being grateful in the moment, finding something in your life to be grateful in that moment, makes all the difference in the world. And so if you're having trouble being grateful, just ask yourself something like, what do I enjoy looking at? What do I enjoy hearing? What am I— what do I enjoy doing? Who do I love? I'm so glad that I can. I'm looking forward to. I'm grateful for. When you start looking for and talking about things you're grateful for, you'll be amazed at how they start coming into your life. The next thing that she talks about that I think is amazingly grounding is to look up and breathe. So when you're in a place where you're, you're feeling down or depressed or just stuck, look up. There's something about the sky, the stars, the clouds. It helps ground you in this present and also know that the world is happening. And if you can do that, just take a minute to look up and then talk to yourself as you look up. Take deep breaths. Feel your body. Tell yourself, I'm letting go of the weight of fear and worry. I'm letting go of the boredom of the repetitive. I'm living in the present and I'm finding good in the present. I'm growing. Try to repeat statements like that to yourself until you relax. And the last one, and this comes from me, don't ever stop dreaming. Sometimes our dreams are the only thing that gets us through our tough times. Did you know that your brain knows this instinctively? Do you know what a brain can do when it's going through extreme trauma? It can dissociate. It can literally separate all of its senses And go to another place. Dissociation is a coping mechanism. At its extreme is dissociative identity disorder, and you might have heard that. That's like, you see it on the movies, people who have multiple personalities. And remember though, all extremes are unhealthy, but a little dissociation in the form of dreaming is a healthy thing to do when the going gets tough, when you feel stuck. I'm going to go back to Oprah because she's talked about how she used to dream when she was in the middle of helping her relative clean other people's laundry by hand. She knew deep down that she was not going to wash other people's clothes for the rest of her life, even though all the statistics and circumstances said that she would. She dreamed of what she wanted to be, the life she wanted to live in the midst of her dark times. That time was not wasted. She was priming her brain through her dreams for her future. If she had been the privileged child playing with her dolls in the house, watching the help wash her clothes, There would have been less opportunity to grow. So let's honor these times when the growth is not tangible. Let's remember that every second we're living is our life. This right now, right here, this is your life. You're not waiting for it to happen. No matter where you are, it is happening. When I remind myself of this on a daily basis, I'm much more able to feel present. I make better decisions because I'm not waiting for something to happen to start My life. I'm doing it now, and I want to live this life the best that I can. So no matter what your life goals and dreams, remember, this right now is your life. Enjoy it. You've got this. Reach out if you need some help. Connect with me on social media. I love talking to you ladies, and I will see you— talk to you next week. Thank you for listening to the Dr. Zoe Show, Redefining Your Superwoman. New shows go up every Tuesday. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. And text the word STRONG to 38470 to get my weekly encouragement. I look forward to connecting with you amazing women on social media throughout the week. Have a super week!
