In this episode of the Dr. Zoe Show, host Dr. Zoe Shaw, a life and relationship coach and licensed psychotherapist, opens with her weekly "Superwoman win" (organizing cluttered spaces) and "Superwoman fail" (missing two doctor appointments). She then shares a personal story from a writing retreat where, after days of prayerful beach walks that felt disconnected, she noticed her own footprints on the sand and felt a vivid sense that God had been present all along, carrying her through her busyness. Using this experience, Dr. Zoe argues that God delights in our messiness: He knows our deepest desires, frustrations, addictions, and failures, and loves us precisely because we are imperfect. She explains that our mess is part of a larger divine plan, even if it feels painful, and encourages listeners to stop trying to control everything, to trust that God works through the chaos. She references biblical themes—Jesus’ ministry to the broken, the idea that God "runs to the mess"—and uses metaphors like God collecting our tears and a docked ship needing guidance. Dr. Zoe urges women to embrace their mess, view it as a space for growth, and pursue their God‑given passions despite uncertainty. The episode ends with a call to subscribe, follow on social media, and a reminder of upcoming shows.
Grab a cup of tea or listen as you go, ladies. This is your hour with Dr. Zoe, your life and relationship coach. With encouragement, on-point insight, inspiring guests, health tips, and advice, Dr. Zoe helps busy women keep their mind in the game by redefining your superwoman. You're listening to the Dr. Zoe Show.
Hey there, welcome to Redefining Your Superwoman. I'm Dr. I'm Dr. Zoe. I'm a life and relationship coach, a licensed psychotherapist, a motivational speaker, and you can connect with me by texting the word strong to 38470. And I'm here to help you stay strong in your life and in your relationships. So just a heads up, you might have figured out from the title already that today I'm talking about God and faith. And in the future, I will always put God or faith in the title of an episode if that's what I'm going to be talking a lot about. So you can feel Feel free if that's not your jam to skip that episode, but I hope that you will stay subscribed because I love talking with women about staying strong in all aspects of their life, regardless of their faith or their beliefs. Today's topic is why God delights in your messy self and my messy self. But first up, my Superwoman win and my Superwoman fail. So my win is I got the organizing bug and I deep cleaned and I organized a number of spaces in my house. And I think I was motivated by a statistic I heard on the Redefining Wealth podcast. Patrice Washington said that the average American spends 76 hours per year looking for things they already own but have misplaced. And I'm probably at least your average American in that area. And I have a couple of places in my house that I don't let my housekeepers or my kids touch. One of them is my closet and the other is my desk. And so they are often in disarray. So my win is I organized them and it feels really good. I don't do it too often because there is some order in my mess, but it definitely needed to be done. Talking about mess. That's what we're talking about today. So that's my win. My fail is I was so busy organizing that I missed 2 doctor's appointments this week. I had to cancel them. I was way too busy. I was so excited that I finally got around to making the appointments, and then I had to cancel them, and then now I still have to make them. So there you go. Onto the topic, why God delights in your messy self. I went on a writing retreat as I continue to revise this book that is taking way too long to finish. And every morning before I started writing, I took a walk along the beach and I prayed. I had all these high hopes for connecting with God and getting all this amazing writing down in this weekend. And I'm finally away from all the busyness of work and family. And this was going to be an amazing weekend, a great spiritual time for me to write and pray. Well, I did the walk and I did the praying the first day and the writing, and I did the praying and the walking the second day, and I felt so disconnected and a little bit disappointed. But on the third day, I was almost finished with my walk. It was early in the morning and I was the only one there at the beach, and I'm praying and I'm walking and I'm feeling frustrated. And finally I just said, God, why don't I hear you? I'm doing all these things. I took the time and invested the money to come to this place to spend I want to spend time with you and read and write, and I don't feel you one iota. I was just walking along the beach feeling frustrated and trying to talk to God. And then I just happened to look back over my shoulder behind me, and my breath caught in my throat and chills ran up my spine because what I saw was my one set of footprints through this pristine beach, just like in the picture on the footprint poem I've had since I was in 10th grade and is still sitting on my vanity today. And I literally felt God say, Zoe, I've been carrying you. You've just been too busy to notice. I've been here all along. I haven't left you. I'm always right here. You're the one that's distracted. You're the one that's too busy. You're the one that can't hear me because you don't silence yourself. I care about your drama and I'm right here. And I have to tell you guys, I felt so chastised. How dare that I say, okay, God, I'm gonna give you a few minutes in the morning on my weekend retreat, and you better show up, when he's always shown up. He's always been there in my busy, messy life. It's me that's literally designated him into the corner, and I'm the one who barely looks back, and I throw things into that corner, and by the time I'm looking for him, he's all covered up, but he's still there. What a good God. So today I feel called to talk again about God and specifically how he delights in your messy self. God knows your deepest desires and your greatest frustrations, and he is not confused or deceived about who you are. He is the one entity in this universe who knows you completely and loves you completely. Talk about a perfect relationship. Well, it's not perfect because we're not perfect, but he sees your mess, your pain, Your addiction, your difficult marriage, your troubled child. He sees how hard it is for you to find friends, how hard it is for you to sometimes maintain relationships. And he knows your regrets, your failures, your shortcomings, temptations, and struggles that make you feel ashamed. He knows how much you want those things that you can't even speak about. And he's not scared of your mess. When we're feeling ashamed of our shortcomings, we have to remember that he made us human. He made us imperfect. He loves our humanity, and our humanity is quite frankly a mess. The reason why, of course, is because we are imperfect, and our imperfections create a ripple effect, otherwise known as drama, in our lives and in our relationships. It's so hard to trust God in our lives, to trust that he has a plan for our mess that's greater than we ever could have imagined. And it's not just that he has a plan for it, but that our mess is absolutely necessary for us to carry out that plan. I actually hate the reality of that truth, and one day I will fully understand because I admit that I don't. My simple mind says that there has to be a better way than to walk through pain to learn lessons. There has to be a better way than to walk through pain to get something greater. But God says that his ways are higher than my ways, and my faith tells me that his way is good, even though it sucks. And later, usually when the mess is mostly cleaned up, I can often look back and say, oh, I get it, but never in the moment. Maybe that maturity is coming for me and for you one day. See, he doesn't say that he delights in those who are perfect. He doesn't say that he delights in those who don't have messy lives. He says he delights in people whose hope is in his love. And I've been hoping in his love and terrified I won't get it since as long as I can remember knowing God. But the key is he's not my earthly father whose love I have to try to earn in vain. He's a heavenly Father whose love I will always have. And the mess of your life and the mess of your relationships and the mess of what you haven't even begun To accomplish in 2020. God is there. How about I give you permission today to stop trying to control everything? Actually, I'm imploring you to stop trying to control everything. The truth is that God doesn't really need you jumping in and trying to fix it. It's like a toddler helping you make breakfast. They just make bigger messes. We let them do it because we know they've got to learn, right? And we're there to clean up the mess. But you don't need to do all that. You can just relax and let him take care of it. Release the lie that you're going to be worthy when your life is cleaned up. Here's the thing, your life may always be a little messy, and that's okay. I know you might not have wanted to hear that, but maybe it'll give you permission to release your need for it to be perfect, for it to be completely in order. Maybe you're supposed to learn how to have joy in the midst of your mess. As I did some research for this episode, I saw so many articles that said, if you just trust in God, he can turn your messes into something beautiful. In some ways, I don't think that's really fair because I know that no matter how many Jesuses you put over some of my messes, they'll never be beautiful. And that's the truth. I am beautiful. My mess isn't. But I've learned to embrace it. I've learned to grow from it. And that's why I share my wins and my fails with you every single week. Yes, I do it for you. But I also do it for me because it reminds me to embrace them. There's one thing that the Bible affirms time and time again: God runs to the mess. Jesus wasn't friends with people who had it all together. All of the people he ran with were a mess. When we don't acknowledge our mess, it doesn't give God a lot to work with. Oh, I just read this Instagram message, a response. I put up a meme saying that you can't edit a blank page. And my friend responded saying, God can't guide a docked ship. So when we don't acknowledge our mess, it doesn't give God a lot to work with. Because if you think about it, the Pharisees that Jesus despised so much were also a mess, but they thought they were perfect. God doesn't really have time for that. He delights in people who admit their messiness. I am grateful for my messiness. And it even feels good to say that. I don't love my mess. I wish it didn't have to be, but I'm grateful for the lessons, and I'm grateful for a God who delights in my humanity. God says he doesn't just see our tears, but he collects them. And this is such a powerful image. I had a client who told me that she just wants and needs to feel heard. She doesn't want me to try to give her solutions that she thinks won't work. She doesn't want me to try to fix her. She just wants to be heard. And isn't that really what we all want? To just be heard and seen? What better way to feel heard than to think of that image of God collecting our tears, not wiping them, not consoling them, collecting them. We only collect what we value. And I heard another saying this week that stuck with me. And have you, you know that saying, failure isn't an option? So that's pretty popular. Well, I heard someone say failure has to be an option because if If you're so afraid of your messiness, and if you're so ashamed of your failures, you will not venture to do greatness. You'll not venture to take risks, to learn new skills, to walk in your passion and your calling in life. Because your calling can be messy, ladies. Getting lost can be messy. So remember, God can't guide a docked ship. Go out there with your mess and walk in your God-given passion. That's what I'm doing, mess and all. So thank you for listening to Redefining Your Superwoman. New shows go up on Tuesdays. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode. And I look forward to hanging out and connecting with you amazing women on social media throughout the week. Have a super week.
You've been listening to the Dr. Zoe Show, Redefining Your Superwoman. With your host, Dr. Zoe Shaw. Don't forget to sign up for her monthly newsletters to get encouragement, tips, and skills for keeping your mind in the Superwoman game. Connect with her now at www.drzoeshaw.com. Tell your friends and subscribe to her podcast on iTunes. Join us next time for another edition of the Dr. Zoe Show.
