In this unscripted monologue, Dr. Zoe Shaw opens her Redefining Your Superwoman podcast by sharing the emotional toll of recent, difficult conversations about racism. She describes feeling vulnerable, gaslighted, and uncertain when confronting white friends about racial micro‑aggressions, yet she emphasizes that speaking up—despite the discomfort—is essential. Drawing on her background in psychology and faith, she frames the strength of a woman as a quiet, internal knowing rather than outward bravado, and she argues that true strength involves acknowledging one’s own weaknesses, confronting injustice, and holding oneself and others accountable. Dr. Shaw urges listeners—especially white allies—to pause before dismissing Black experiences, to validate them, and to use their voices to call out racism, slurs, and favoritism. She connects personal ancestral legacy to present‑day activism, positioning the act of speaking out as a continuation of her great‑grandmother’s fight. The episode ends with practical advice: sit with discomfort, write down why the conversation matters, breathe, and then speak or write. She also promotes her weekly encouragement text service and invites women to engage with her community.
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Hi there, I'm Dr. Zoe. I'm glad you're here. This is the place for developing your strength as a woman and helping you navigate difficult relationships in your life, including that sometimes difficult relationship with yourself. Being a strong woman is not about what other people can see, and it's not about how loud you are about it. It's a quiet knowing. This isn't therapy, but you may feel like you've been to therapy after one of my episodes. Here, we also explore the intersection of psychology and faith, all with the purpose of creating a new Welcome to Redefining Your Superwoman. Hey guys, I'm glad that you're here today. I'm your host, Dr. Zoe, and this is gonna be a different episode because I script all my episodes. I already know what I'm gonna talk about. I have a topic. I've usually done some research on it, and I didn't do that today. I'm just talking from my heart. It has been such a rough week, not just for me, but for every person in this country that is awake and aware of anything that's going on. And, you know, my, my win today, I have to say, I just got off of a conversation with the Grit and Grace Project, and we did a podcast talking about racism and my experiences. I am feeling so very vulnerable right now. I just have to say. I've had some very, very difficult conversations with people in my life that I really truly care about, and they've been hard. Talking about racism is difficult. It makes my stomach churn. I don't like it, and yet I have to do it. The very last thing that I am is the spokesperson for the entire Black community. I feel very unqualified to do that. But I am a Black woman in this country, and to be honest with you, I regularly don't feel comfortable talking about race issues with my white friends, mostly because I feel like as a community we get gaslighted. And when I do, if I ever bring up something that I've experienced, I often get a comment back like, yeah, no, it probably didn't happen that way, or maybe you misinterpreted, or I'm sure they didn't mean it that way. And I've learned over time that I don't have those conversations with white people because they don't believe me. And I'm left questioning myself and feeling like, well, maybe I'm too sensitive. I wonder, is my perception that off? Did I really get it all wrong? And I'm left with a general bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. And so over the years, I've learned not to, although believe me, I certainly have feelings, and believe me, I talk about things with my Black friends or our friends of color, but I largely stay quiet Because honestly, the hurt runs too deep. I don't want to be not seen, and if I'm not going to be seen, I'd rather do it on my terms than have somebody else reject my experience. And so that is not a win. That is a fail. My win today was that I spoke up. When I knew something was not okay, I spoke up and expressed how I felt and what I knew was important to say. And so as hard as it is for anyone who is not a person of color to speak out against racism, to speak out against, against injustice, I just want you to know it's hard for me too. It's hard for us too. We are Driven harder maybe than you are because we can no longer sit and watch this world continue on oblivious when we have children that are inheriting this. But it's hard and it's important. And if you're a person of color, you get it and you get me. And maybe you don't, because honestly, maybe it's not hard for some people. Maybe they have become more comfortable with it. But I can say for me, it's hard. Even as I say it's hard, I feel so very weak in that. I feel like I'm complaining about nothing because I think back to my great-grandmother and the struggle that she had fighting injustice. I actually thought about her and her blood that courses through my veins when I confronted someone today knowing that my confrontation could possibly end our relationship. For me, that was hard. But it's just nothing compared to what my ancestors have fought. They were fighting for lives. I was fighting for a relationship. And so what I always want to be is a strong woman. And what I know about strong women is that we speak the truth as best we can. We confront things. We don't sweep them under the rug. We speak what we need to speak, even when it's hard, especially when it's hard. And I certainly don't need a pat on the back for doing what I should do, but I just want to acknowledge for you and for me that it's okay that it's hard because also as strong women, we don't shy away from our own weaknesses. We speak them and we know that it's our job to strengthen them. And this is a deficit that I have that I am working on, and I am holding everyone that I know accountable to working on it as well. So I am asking you and imploring you as a white person to, to talk and bring it up. And if anybody ever says something to you about their experience, wait a second before you negate it. Just think about it. Just because it wasn't your experience doesn't mean that it wasn't theirs. I honestly don't know what this podcast is about today. And this is not the way to put up a podcast. Maybe I'll figure it out before I'm done. We'll see what the title is. But every time I scripted it, there were no words that I could say, and yet I knew that I wanted to say something. So for my friends, for my family, for those of you I don't even know, thank you for your support for Black Lives Matter. Thank you for recognizing that, yes, all lives matter, But so do Black lives, and it's okay to say Black lives matter. Not just okay, but necessary, because the world over centuries has taught us that Black lives don't matter. And so it's important to say it. Thank you for walking through the uncomfortable. And for those of you who haven't spoken up, Black or white, I encourage you to use your voice. Don't stay silent. Speak up for what you know is right. Speak against what you know is wrong. When you see racism, brutality, favoritism, racial jokes, racial slurs, speak out and make everyone uncomfortable, because it is only if we are uncomfortable that we will change. We don't change from a place of comfort. And I know that this movement will move on. Other things are going to catch the news very quickly, and this will just be another blip in our history. But let it not be that. Continue to carry the torch. Continue to speak out against what is wrong. Continue to be the little light, or the big light, or the shining, raging fire that says no more, that says Black Lives Matter without a but. I think I just figured out the title of this podcast. It's okay if talking about race makes you uncomfortable. And I implore you, my friends, my listeners, to do it anyway. So if you're feeling uncomfortable and you know you need to talk about it, sit with those feelings. Ask yourself, is this uncomfortableness more important than what I need to say? And why do I need to say it? Write down the reasons why you need to say it, and then take a deep breath And start talking or writing, however you need to communicate. You've got this. Reach out if you need some help. Thank you for listening to the Dr. Zoe Show, Redefining Your Superwoman. New shows go up every Tuesday. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and text the word strong to 38470 to get my weekly encouragement. I look forward to connecting with you amazing women on social media throughout the week. Have a super week.
