In this episode of The Dr. Zoe Show, Dr. Zoe Shaw shares a personal story of feeling physically and emotionally “broken” and reframes it as being “bent.” She uses the metaphor to explain that moments of crisis mark places that need healing, not permanent damage. Drawing on her experience as a therapist, she discusses how comparison fuels feelings of brokenness, encourages acceptance of life’s mystery (especially amid COVID), and offers a series of concrete steps for listeners: affirming self‑worth, feeling emotions instead of burying them, focusing on functional strengths, visualizing resilience, and expanding perspective beyond pain. Throughout, she blends psychological insight with faith‑based acceptance, urging women to see themselves as strong, capable, and deserving of love. The episode ends with a call to subscribe, text for weekly encouragement, and engage on social media.
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I can distinctly remember a few times in my life where I felt like I just broke. Literally. It was almost an audible sound and a physical snap deep in my core. Maybe that's happened to you too. But I didn't really break. There was a shift, yes. Nothing would ever be the same again, no. But I didn't break. And for a while afterwards, I was a little bent. And that bend marked the place that I needed to work on, the place I needed to heal. This episode was sparked by a song by Pink. My sister actually exposed me to this song. It's called Learn to Love Again, and in it she says, we're not broken, just bent. Hi there, I'm Dr. Zoe. I'm glad you're here. This is the place for developing your strength as a woman and helping you navigate difficult relationships in your life, including that sometimes difficult relationship with yourself. Being a strong woman is not about what other people can see, and it's not about how loud you are about it. It's a quiet knowing. This isn't therapy, but you may feel like you've been to therapy after one of my episodes. Here we also explore the intersection of psychology and faith, all with the purpose of creating a new kind of strong. Welcome to Redefining Your Superwoman. Hey there, welcome! I'm your host, Dr. Zoe, and today's topic is You're not broken, just bent. So I know from experience that that feeling of brokenness can stop you dead in your tracks. It's like you're a conked-out car, and you might feel like you've lost the motivation to go one more inch. But every time I have felt broken, I was certain I could not be put back together. But that too, my friend, was untrue. And so today, Maybe you feel broken. Maybe you already know you're just a little bent. I have a few words of encouragement for you. First, life never stays the same. There are some things that I wish would be different in my life, and then there's some things that I just hold on to and I think, I wish it could stay this way forever. And yet they all change, they all do. So when you're feeling a little broken, please know that it won't, it can't last forever. Now, will it all go back to the way it used to be? No, it never can. But each time I felt broken, I wouldn't take back the old experience for anything, because what was restored was actually better. So yes, it can be better. The choice is yours. Sometimes when we feel broken, it's because we feel that there's something deeply wrong with us. That we aren't like other people, that we'll never be good enough or whole enough or well enough. You know, I have this unique perspective and opportunity to peek into people's lives. I get to peek into their minds and their worlds. Pretty much nowhere else in the world can you get an uncurated view of people's internal world like I get to as a therapist, and it's an honor. And I don't take that privilege lightly, but my clients have taught me so much. They've taught me really that we're all the same. You might have heard me say something like this before, but we all want the same things. The Superior Court judge and the guy who owns the tire shop all have the same insecurities, needs, desires, emotions underneath the surface of how they actually show up in the world, right? And we all feel broken sometimes, so you're not alone in this. And part of the reason why we feel broken is because of comparison. Now, the Superior Court judge, he's not comparing himself necessarily to the tire shop owner. He's comparing himself to the Supreme Court Justice. And the tire shop owner probably isn't comparing himself to the cashier at McDonald's. He's comparing himself to the more successful franchise owner. Across town. We compare and we feel less than, sometimes broken. Or something happens in our lives and we compare it to the expectation of how it should be, and it falls so very short. We can begin to heal some of our brokenness by first, let's stop asking the whys. Life is an amazing mystery. And by the way, I didn't mention this at the top of the episode, but we are still in the middle of COVID If you're listening to this years from now. And if there's anything that COVID has demonstrated to us is that life is a mystery. We cannot predict what's going to happen a second, a minute, a week, or a year from now. And so no matter how great you are at solving mysteries, you're not going to get this one figured out before it's all over. You will understand one day. But now isn't the time, so stop with the whys. It just is. Now my sister told me once that she hates it when I say, it is what it is, and I guess maybe I say that more than I thought. But I don't know any simpler way to say that I accept what is, and I recognize that this life, this one that we have, is meant to be experienced. And I accept that it's a mystery. See, we lose parts of the experience of life by turning a magnifying glass on it. Now, sometimes that magnifying glass is needed. It's necessary for different things. I mean, we scientists need it for sure, but not when we're feeling broken. Now isn't the time. It is what it is, and it will get better. Next, you need to know and tell yourself over and over that you deserve love. I have a number of clients who will say that they feel that they're too broken for anyone to want to love them, and that's just so wrong. One thing I love is that there is a person for everybody. And remember, I told you that everyone feels broken at some point or another. Everyone. So don't succumb to that negative self-talk that says you are too broken for love, that you are too broken for good experiences, that you are too broken for connection. You are not. You are bent, and even in your bent shape, you are still attractive, and you are still deserving of love. Number 3, you need to feel those feelings. Don't bury them. That's pretty much my answer for everything, and if you've been listening, you know I've said that a million times, but there's a reason. It's so much easier to bury your feelings when you feel broken. It hurts. The pain can feel like too much, but when you do, it just makes it worse. Those feelings don't stay the way they are, right? They, they morph and they rot and they change into something very unhealthy. So don't bury those feelings. Just feel them. I know, just feel them. Number 4, focus on what you can do and praise yourself for it. Focus on what you have left that is functional. There are things that you do well. There are unique talents that only you have in your special way. Remember, you're not broken, just bent. You are still functional. Focus on what you have left that is functional and working in your life. Next, you've got to envision your resilience. Do you know why visioning something is so important? Because you are the only one in control of you, and you have got to do something once you start to feel a little bit better. And so you have to have the vision in front of you so you can see what it is that you're making. You're making your life. Don't just hope for it. Whenever clients in my practice say, I hope I'll do this, or I hope I'll feel this way, I always say, never hope about yourself. You can hope about everything else in the world. You can hope that Disney World opens tomorrow. You can hope all kinds of things for people outside of you, for the world outside of you, but you don't need to hope for yourself. You get to choose. So take ownership. Don't hope, decide. And know that as every second ticks by, your resilience is growing because you're getting through this as I speak. Emotional resilience is created through our brokenness. And I want you now to envision your cracks filling up with light. I want you to see the gaping spaces where you feel that you're broken wide open. I want you to envision them reforming and building themselves into a better version of you. Because you're not broken, you're just bent. You are not in pieces, although you might feel wide open and vulnerable right now. Last, I want you to see beyond your brokenness. Mark Nepo said, to be broken is no reason to see all things as broken. Because when we're in a place of pain, it's so hard to see beyond it. But what I want you to do is look up. No, really, turn your face up to the sky and look up. It's vast. There's so much beyond your brokenness, and you are a part of all of that too. You're going to choose to live, to love, to trust, and to dance again. Keep that on your horizon as you walk through this journey. You, beautiful, strong being, are not broken. You're just bent, and it gets better from here. Thank you for listening to the Dr. Zoe Show, Redefining Your Superwoman. New shows go up every Tuesday. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode, and text the word strong to 38470 to get my weekly encouragement. I look forward to connecting with you amazing women on social media throughout the week. Have a super week!
