Eliminating Patterns Instead Of Beliefs

Nobody cares about eliminating beliefs. We care about eliminating patterns, things that we do that don't work, so a pattern is observable. You can see somebody procrastinating. You could see somebody not speaking up for themselves. You can see somebody getting sick all the time. You can see somebody not taking care of themselves, not exercising, not eating well. Those are patterns. and that's what we want to change. So your pattern was you weren't telling the truth, you weren't honest because you were so afraid and that belief that if I tell the truth I'll get hurt stayed with you even though we have evidence that our beliefs are true. I worked with five Harvard PhDs who had the belief I'm stupid. They knew they weren't stupid. And I'm going to explain why our beliefs stay with us through 30 years of therapy. And that doesn't mean good therapy isn't good and it doesn't teach you how to cope with life and be more effective in life. It can. What we do is very different. When you cope with things, you're building a building called Mark or Shelly or whoever is listening. on shaky foundation, on shaky ground, and the beliefs are the foundation underneath every single pattern that you have. And here's why they stay with us, even though we know better, even though I'll give you a great example. I had the belief mistakes and failures are bad. I knew they weren't. I read every book. I knew every business quote that there was. Richard Branson says, if you're not failing, you're gonna be mediocre. Didn't matter. That's great. I couldn't do things. That must be why I am such a success, 'cause I fail all the time. That's right. And that is, you know, and I knew that. But the belief was still there, even though I knew better. And here's why. We think that we see our beliefs in the world.