Dr. Nicole Cain offers four ways to ease social anxiety: compliment something you genuinely respect about the person, ask real questions about them, listen without your phone, and keep asking follow-ups. Shift focus from your own worry to actual interest in them.
Chapters
Four tips if you have social anxiety. Tip number one, point out something that you respect, admire, or appreciate about the person that you're talking with. Tip number two is be genuinely curious. Ask questions. Tip number three is to pay attention when they're talking with you. Don't get on your phone, look around the room, or interrupt them. And tip number four is to keep the attention on them and show that you care about what they're saying. Ask for more information, Ask clarifying questions, and be genuinely, truly curious. Oftentimes when we're socially anxious, we get in our own heads and we worry about what to say or what is somebody going to think of me, or am I saying the right thing? And one of the best ways to antidote that is to take the attention off of yourself and to be genuinely interested in and genuinely curious about the person that you're talking to. They might be really surprised at how much interest you have in their thoughts and their perspectives and their interests, and that can be really refreshing and exciting for people. It can build your relationship, and it can also help them think really well of you because you're paying attention to them.
