Dr. Nicole Cain explains why you might feel conflicting emotions at once: protective parts of yourself formed during difficult experiences can clash with your adult self. EMDR, ego-state work, and Internal Family Systems can help integrate these fragmented parts.
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Have you ever had a reaction to something that while you were in the midst of that reaction, that there was another part of your brain that was like, why am I doing this? I don't know why I'm reacting this way. It doesn't make any sense. It can be incredibly frustrating to not feel in continuity with ourselves. Right. Part of me is raging and angry or panicky, but then there's this other part of me that's like, just be calm. Don't make a big deal out of it. So what is that about anyway? This is the entire premise of ego state work, which you can find in EMDR internal family systems or just in straight up ego state. It talks about the way that we adapt to trauma. Throughout your life, as you've gone through events, whether they were difficult or challenging, anything that you had to adapt to, your nervous system will respond as an adaptation. It forms a part, if you will. What this means is if you had, for example, a really stressful childhood where you had to be really hypervigilant and watch out for for other people's moods so that you can predict it and protect yourself, this might result in you being more hypervigilant as an adult later in life. These parts are trying to protect you, but sometimes they can come out in ways that don't make sense to your adult self. If you feel like you're stuck in discontinuity with yourself, check out EMDR or eco state work or internal family systems.
