How to Stop Your Fear of Flying

Hey, babe, do you struggle with fear of flying? I can tell you that a fear of flying is something that I've been dealing with for a pretty long time. And thanks to that, I guess I have some really good solutions that have been transformative in my life and in my journey, and, and I'm here to share them with you. You don't have to stop flying because of a fear of flying, because you can overcome and you can transform. And I'm really excited to share with you what I've been doing to personally help me keep getting on airplanes and not be dependent on completely knocking myself out with a benzodiazepine medication. So if you struggle with fear of flying, or if anybody that you know struggles with the fear of flying, share this video. And if you can, hit that little like button because that helps with the Facebook and the YouTube algorithms so that people see our content. And I'm Dr. Nicole, and my passion is to help you to turn the page in your anxiety. And we talk about all sorts of topics related to anxiety, whether it's claustrophobia, phobias themselves, generally, fear of flying, fear of anything. If you are stressed or if you're anxious, this is the place for you because we are here to give you tons of free tips and tons of free resources and information so that you can get your life back. So let's talk about a fear of flying. One of the biggest and most common causes of fear of flying is the fear of turbulence, the bumpy air that bounces us around in our seats when we're just flying in a giant metal contraption thousands of feet above the ground. Right. And so I think a few things that are going to be really helpful is to learn about what these things are, what's causing it, because knowledge is power. So we're going to start by me telling you about what I've learned by talking to some of the best experts in the field. And then at the end of the video, I'm going to share with you a bunch of strategies that are going to help you be successful in the moment and over time. So the first thing is that when we think of turbulence, there's a couple things that we worry about. Our anxious parts worry, worry about is the fear of the fear, the feeling of being out of control, the fear of heights. I could tell you I had a huge fear of the plane just falling out of the sky and crashing to the ground. It's really triggering because the wings may flex, there may be bumps in the skies. And so we fear, like, what if there's a breakage of the plane, what if we hit someone in the air? Like all of these worries, right? So our brain in a place of being totally powerless and out of control, our lives are in the hands of these pilots that we've never met. We're getting activated, right? And so we're really scared. We're really triggered. And one of the things that we know from the research is that you're not alone. In fact, over 12%, 12.5% specifically, of Americans struggle with a phobia. And a phobia is described as an intense or irrational fear of something where there's actually no or little danger. And a fear of flying is considered a phobia because flying is actually safe. And I know it's one thing to know that logically and another thing to feel that and believe that physically and emotionally. And so right now I'm talking to the logical brain, but then we're going to talk to the other parts of the brain after that. And so with fear flying in particular, we know that the prevalence of fear of flying is upwards of 6.5% of the population. And that's just people who are reporting on it in the polls. And so when it comes to fear of flying, the first thing that I want you to know is that redundancy is the name of the game. And so there's thousands of redundancies in flying. And so what that means is that if there's something that is a one in a billion time chance that it could go wrong or there could be a catastrophic issue with it, even if it's one in a billion, they're gonna have four or more backup plans. And that's just mind boggling and insane. In fact, I was trying to find for you all of the redundancies and there were just like pages and pages and pages and pages, and it was just too much. The name is just to know. Redundancy is the name of the game. The second thing is we really need to know what turbulence is, because otherwise we just feel like it's this incredibly dangerous thing. We can't see it, we feel it, and we don't know what's happening, right? And so what the definition of turbulence is is it's chaotic or capricious eddies of air. And a really good way to understand this is if you look at a candle and you look at the flame, it's bouncing around and moving, right? If there's any motion in the air, that flame is going to dance. And that's exactly what's happening in the airplane on a much larger scale is you have all of this air around you, and if there's any movement in the air, then the plane is going to move. And sometimes the little movements in the air cause the flame to flick a little bit more, and sometimes the plane will move a little bit more. And so when we have changes in airflow, the plane will bounce. And there's a few main reasons the airflow may change, causing the plane to bounce and move a little bit. And one is jet streams. And so these jet streams could be changes in the speed of the wind that's coming at the plane. And so it could be that you're flying through where a plane had been there previously a long time ago. And that can cause you to feel movement or motions. There's thermal turbulence, which is super common when flying into Phoenix airport, which is where I fly to all the time, is that you have all of this hot air rising, and that can change the air pressure. Right? And so the plane moves just like we think of our living area. The heat rises. It's cooler on the bottom, it's warmer on the top. If you climb up the ladder, you're going to feel changes in the temperature differential. There may be thunderstorms that are nearby that are blowing the air. So if you imagine a candle and it's on a table and someone comes breezing into the room, the candle may move a little bit. That's like a thunderstorm, right? Or we may find that there's cumulus clouds, and they have different densities and different temperatures and pockets of humidity, and that can change the plane. There's also mechanical turbulence caused by the landscape. And so if you're flying over mountains or tall buildings, that can distort the way that the air is blowing above them. So if you imagine that you have a breeze and it's going and it's dancing across the tops of buildings, it's not totally smooth because it may pocket down, and then there's a building and pocket down. And so that can go up, and then the plane can just gently dance on top of that. Right. Or there's clear air turbulence, which is a whole different topic. And we can get into that in a future video. The thing with turbulence is that it is, in fact, no big deal to everybody who is not me sitting in the airplane, Right? So you and I were sitting in the airplanes, we're minding our own business, and then suddenly there's bouncing. Or the pilot may let us know, hey, just put your seatbelts on, there's going to be a little bit of bumps in the air. And for them and the stewardesses, the flight attendants, no big deal. For us, it's a big deal. But let's talk about why the people that are informed and that do this a hundred times, thousand times a year, why they know it's not a big deal. And the first thing is that turbulence has not caused a plane to crash since 1966, which was over 50 years ago. Turbulence is caused by a change in the airflow, not because there's something wrong with the plane itself. And most, the biggest, majority of injuries that occur because of turbulence are because people weren't wearing their seatbelts or the luggage is falling and hitting them. It's not because there's something dangerous inherently about turbulence. It's just because we're getting bounced around. And if you're not wearing your seatbelt, you're gonna bounce a little more. Right. Each year, here's a quote that is from Business Insider from Australia, and it says each year worldwide, about one people, half of them flight attendants, are hurt by turbulence enough to require medical attention, like a bump or a bruise, head, neck, shoulder, ankle injuries. And that works out to be about 50 passengers. And that's 50 people out of 2 billion people who fly each year. And it's because they weren't belted in when they hit a bump in the air. It wasn't because turbulence was inherently dangerous. Right. The odds of being in a plane crash are about one in a million. And by the way, your odds of being struck by lightning in a lifetime are 1 in 3,000. So 1 in 11 million is just like, unheard of. It's more likely that you're gonna win the lottery multiple times, like the Powerball before you're gonna be in a plane crash. And in the extremely rare chance that you're actually in a plane crash, like you fly and you fly billions of times, millions of times, you actually end up in a plane crash. The chances of surviving are 95%, which is something that I didn't know. I fig the plane could crash. If it crashes, I'm screwed. But that's not actually the case. The odds of the plane crashing are so statistically insignificant that it's hardly worth mentioning. And if the plane actually crashes, your survival likelihood is 95%, which is absolutely amazing. In fact, airplane accidents have a 95.7% survivability rate according to the United States National Transportation Safety Board. That means that less than 5% of people would actually not survive A plane crash, it's very, very insignificantly small amount. Of course, anybody not surviving anything is significant. And when it comes to you assessing your odds and your safety, flying that, that number is a needle in a haystack. And so the question is, well, why is turbulence getting worse? Why am I hearing all these things? And there's a couple of answers to that. One is that the newspapers, the news sources and outlets love to sensationalize plane crashes. So if there's anything negative or scary or bad that happens, they're going to report on it, and you're going to hear about it a lot more, and then they're going to be over exaggerating the importance of it. And that's why a lot of us thought like, if a plane crashes, you're doomed, but you're not. They're just reporting on the negative aspects. They're not reporting on the 95% of people who are just getting a little scrape or a little bump or a bruise. And the other thing I want to mention to you is that planes are badass. They are amazing. In fact, you can try to flip and turn and move a plane, and because of physics, the plane has to rewrite itself, and the plane wants to fly. And so when we think about the way that the physics and the mechanics are built into how they shape an airplane is that it has to fly, it can't fall out of the sky. And that there's in fact, a couple of different things that keep planes afloat. One is the negative pressure sucking the plane up into the air, and the other is the positive pressure. And I actually did an interview with an aerospace engineer on this topic, and that's going to be coming up in our podcast soon. So stay tuned, because she talks way more about that in a lot more intelligence and eloquence than I can, and it was so helpful and informative for me. So we've been talking a little bit more about statistics, planes, why they're so awesome. And now I'm going to tell you about my top tips to stop your fear of flying and your fear of turbulence. So, are you ready? The first is to stop your preoccupation and focus on an occupation. And so what that means is that your emotional brain is putting importance on this event. It doesn't put this kind of importance in getting in a car and driving or walking across the street or even going to your mailbox, which are all more dangerous activities. Statistically, it doesn't put that importance on it. And so when the anxious brain is trying to Put importance on a fear of flying. We have to ignore that process. And the number one thing to do is to distract. And I can tell you that when I get on a plane, my anxiety is high, that my parts want to be hypervigilant. They're like, what is this bump? What does it mean? What's it look like? How long have we been in the air? When are we going to fly? What's the weather like? My brain tries to control all the variables, which, by the way, it has no control over. So then we freak out, right? So the first thing that you have to do is to not reinforce the brain's needs and desires to become preoccupied with the fear of flying. And you have to redirect it with another occupation. So don't engage in what if questions. Don't analyze the flight attendants. Don't grip the arm seats. Don't count down the minutes until you can land. Instead, create a mantra. That is what you want. Want to fly because it's faster. The odds of a catastrophic failure is 1 in 3 million, which is so insignificant that I'm more likely to win the Powerball, right? The pilots want to get to our destination, too. There's so much redundancy, it's incredible. If my number is up and this one's going to crash, I have a 95% chance of surviving it. And if I don't, so be it. I can't control or change that. Now that I'm on the airplane, being anxious isn't going to change any of that. And I'm choosing to be on this plane so then I can choose to not be anxious. And I refuse to entertain scary thoughts, and I choose to distract with other things I might feel anxious. But anxiety does not equal danger. And that's a really important one, is that anxiety does not equal danger, right? So we may know logically, I'm choosing to fly. I'm getting on this plane. I know that flying is safe. My body feels anxious. But I can't allow that anxiety feeling to convince me that it is actually dangerous, because it's not, right? And so we have to work to separate actual feelings of fear from actual danger. And even though your body is sending out cascades of hormones and neurotransmitters that make us feel like it's dangerous to fly, we have to label that like, okay, my body is activated. I'm feeling anxiety, but I'm not in any real danger. And then the next thing that we can do is prepare ahead of time. So getting educated on flying, getting educated on how it works. What are all of those sounds? What do the bumps in the air mean? And then a way that you could do that is I took the fear of flying class at the Phoenix airport. It was free. It was with Captain Ron and it was great. I'll give you some other resources in the notes, but you can look@FearlessFlight.com that's the one that I took. FearOfFlying.com they have free information on there. And Dr. MartinSief.com FearOfFly so these are other resources plus tons of stuff on the web if you just do a Google search. But getting educated is a game changer. And then also using mindfulness to walk through a successful carefree flight where you feel good and arrive at your destination safely. Interestingly, the brain can't tell the difference between imagination and actual happening. And so using hypnosis, seeing an NLP practitioner using guided imageries can actually change the software in your brain so that as you wire that hardware, the way you're biologically responding will actually change. And then pack your on flight essentials so you feel like really good. You have things to distract you. I have a list and I'll put it in a blog for you. But things that you might think of would be earplugs or headphones to block out those weird noises, a book, an e reader to distract you, an extra power bank for your phone, a water bottle that you can fill after security, snacks which are cheaper and tastier than on flight snacks, lip balm, hand lotion, medications if you need that, hand sanitizer, antibacterial wipes, and of course layers because those plants can get cold, right? The next thing that you should do before getting on the flight is to take it slow and avoid anything that can ramp up your nervous system into feeling like it's dangerous when it's not right? So give yourself lots of time. Don't rush to the airport. Pack your bag slowly, get to the airport, leisurely check in and then just hang out leisurely. Distract yourself and have fun. Play a game, talk with a friend, read a book. Don't allow your fight flight system to set the alarm. Avoid stimulants like caffeine, avoid sugar because those just activate us and that can confuse the brain and body into thinking there's danger when there's not. Instead, try a cup of relaxing tea like kava kava or chamomile. Keep the long view in mind. Flying is a means to an end. Flying is to take you where you want to go, like a vacation A work trip, visiting family or friends, or going on an adventure. And so project your mind beyond the flight itself to where you're going. Be strategic with your flight plans. Figure out the best place to sit on the plane. We know that it's least bumpy, generally over the wings or in the front of the plane. The back of the plane tends to have more bumps, and we know that the bigger the planes, like Airbus A30s or Boeing 747s, tend to be less bumpy than the smaller aircrafts. And then there are times of the day, theoretically, that are less bumpy, like early mornings and at nighttime. And there's a couple reasons for that. Because the notable coolness of the air in the morning and at night, and then also times flights may get in earlier, faster because there's less traffic during those times. And then avoid areas theoretically where there's mountains, you know, buildings, like areas where you might have that updraft that may cause a little bit more bumps. Instead, flying over the planes during clear, sunny conditions may result in a smoother flight for you. And then tips for while you're on the flight Wear your seatbelt. The majority of injuries from flying come from people getting jostled when they're not strapped into their seatbelt properly. Do whatever you can to distract yourself and then put a half smile on your face. This comes from dbt, where actually putting a half smile on your face will change the way that your body feels like things are happening. The body is constantly sending cues back and forth, so if you're getting nervous, watch your face, put on a half smile and work on your breathing. With breathing, make sure that you're doing four counts and extend the exhale. So breathe in four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, and then hold for four to six counts. And then the last thing is maybe consider bringing an electromagnetic device like an alpha stim or a biofeedback machine that will trick your brain into feeling relaxed. The last thing I want to share with you in terms of overcoming your fear of flying is to just keep flying. The more that you fly, the more that your brain is going to have positive experiences where you get safely to your destination, where you survive turbulence, and then you won't be feeding into the danger feeling. So fear of flying is super normal. Birds hit turbulence, birds fly, and you can get rid of your fear of flying. And following these tools, sticking with it, sticking it out, you can get your life back. I'll make sure to. When the podcast gets up, I'm going to send you to the podcast. You can listen to the expertise from A.J. my aerospace engineer expert, and I'll make sure to put some notes in the show. Notes. And I'm so honored to have you listen to this. So if this was helpful for you at all, please hit the like button again. That helps with the algorithm so other people see this and then share it with somebody that you love. You don't have to stop flying. You can fly safely and anxiety free. My name is Dr. Nicole, and I'm so happy that you were here. I'll see you next time. Thank you so much for being with me.